A Sexmas Story Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  4/1/2004

NOTE: This is an amateur video. Amateur and homemade movies don’t have the budget nor the resources of studio porn, and therefore rarely get close to the same quality technically. I’m rating this DVD on the same scale, but most homemade or amateur features would rarely make it above a 3 on the standard scale I use for studio porn for their technical aspects. The performers also aren’t normally the ‘glamour stars’ one expects from studio porn, and instead use people who look like somebody you might encounter in your day to day life. Finally, the camera work has a different feel, as it’s often shot from a tripod or with somebody who doesn’t have the technical training or experience of professional cameramen. That said, amateur and homemade features have a great charm to them, simple because the people in them are doing what they’re doing to have fun and because they enjoy it. All the things that separate them from studio porn contribute to that charm, I hope people will keep that in mind when checking out this review and not just look at the ratings as the ultimate word on this release. Since the technical aspects are normally lacking and there normally isn’t much for extras in amateur features, I’ve weighted my overall rating more heavily towards the sex than I do in most studio porn.

The Little Details

Running Time: 67 min.

Production Date: Between 1999 and 2004

Director: None listed

Cast: Mandi, Santa, Jessie, Candy, Cane, and Alex in sexual roles and Cherise, Margaret, Candy, Alec, and Dray in non-sex roles

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: I haven’t seen anything from Pixies, but I always look forward to new amateur studios.

Initial Reaction: There’s plenty of things that should have turned me off here, but I couldn’t help but love it.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting a festive porno with people having fun

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting a festive porno with camera work and technical aspects that compete with most studio porn.

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are very good for amateur porn. The audio has a few background noises and balance problems, but for the most part sounds pretty good. The worst of it is during the third scene when the cameraman tries not to laugh and ends up coughing instead, and the performers start laughing and yell at him for coughing. The video is much the same way. There’s a bit of pixelation, a few soft focus problems, and a few other minor camera problems, but most of it is well lit and looks nice.

Music: After starting out with The Dance of the Sugar Plum Faerie,

Menus: The menus are pretty simple. Neither the chapter menu nor the main menu are animated, but they still look nice. The main menu presents the choices in a pleasing way which fits the feature very well. The chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a title for the scene.

Disc Problems: The video freezes for about twenty seconds at 20:38.

Disc Complaint: There’s a watermark in the lower right corner of the screen. I mention it here because I know that a lot of people really hate watermarks. On the plus side, it’s clear and it stays there consistently throughout the feature so that you can put it out of your mind fairly easily.

The Feature

When the good Pixie decides to read a story at Christmastime, all the little people wearing reindeer horns gathered around her chair decide they want to hear a sex story. Luckily, she has a copy of A Sexmas Story to read them.

Scene 1 - Santa and Jessie

After going through his list and checking it twice, Santa learns that Mrs. Claus (Jessie) has been naughty and needs a special present. He delivers her a vibrating egg in the kitchen, which seems to be just what she wanted. She tosses him her panties and starts rubbing the egg around her pussy. She even lets Santa work it around her holes before stripping down to her red lingerie for him. She gets to her knees to start giving Santa his present before climbing up to ride him reverse cowgirl style. Santa also fucks his Mrs. from behind throughout the kitchen before popping on her ass.

This isn’t a great scene, but it sure as heck is fun. There’s nice chemistry and Jessie looks like she’s having a lot of fun. You don’t get to see a lot of penetration, but it works for an amateur scene.

Scene 2 - Santa’s Helpers, Candy and Cane

After working hard at wrapping toys, Santa’s helpers Candy and Cane decide they need a little break. They head into the next room and kiss passionately before helping each other strip down. They exchange oral favors before fucking, and Candy has to put in overtime with blowjobs to get Cane going. He fucks her from behind until they’re discovered by Santa and the rest of his helpers.

This scene leaves more than a little to be desired. Cane looks to have major wood problems, but Candy does a good job trying to work past them. With how much oral is in this scene it seems to go on way too long, and without the pop at the end this scene ended up a dud.

Scene 3 - Mandi and Alex

When Mandi, the doe reindeer, gets a visit from reindeer Alex, she can’t help but show off her little white tail. After he admires it, she sucks his cock while wiggling her little white tail around and lets him kiss her tail. Mandi moves on to ride him in the cowgirls before letting Alex do her from behind and rolling over so that he can fuck her missionary style for a little while. Finally, Alex strokes himself to a minor pop on Mandi’s tail before Santa discovers them being naughty.

This scene has the biggest amateur problem, with the cameraman coughing when he tries not to laugh and the performers yelling at him and laughing for doing so. There’s also a few times the performers crack up. I know that I should really rip this scene for it, but dammit, this is one heck of a fun scene and I think even if the pros tried doing this scene they’d be constantly breaking due to laughing. Mandi here is also extremely cute, and has killer eyes and a great smile. She plays to the camera very well, and was definitely the high point of the scene for me. There’s nice energy and excellent chemistry as well, and despite the problems with the scene I really enjoyed it.

Although there’s plenty to dislike about A Sexmas Story, I couldn’t help but like it. It has many of the common problems of amateur features, such as lackluster editing, camera angles which are normally a little off, and a laughable attempt at plot, but that’s expected with this type of feature. More than anything, it had excellent chemistry and a fun feeling that goes right through the laughable plot to make it work. Yes, the plot is extremely cheesy, but everybody in the cast looks like they’re having a ton of fun with it. There’s a lot of laughable stuff here, but it oftentimes works because it’s never played seriously. It’s played for fun, and it gives the entire movie a fun feeling that helps it rise above the sum of its parts. Taken apart, A Sexmas Story lacks tremendously, but put together it’s a lot of fun and put a smile on my face almost the entire time.

The Extra Stuff

The photo gallery lasts about a minute with about three seconds per decent looking full screen photo.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight and toys

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many DVDs from Pixie’s Emporium can be found online for around $13. I know that this one’s far from perfect, but I can’t help but love it and recommend that anybody who’s interested pick it up. There’s a few technical aspects and not much for extras, but there’s such a great feeling of fun to the movie that I couldn’t help but love it! This is a very nice amateur DVD.

Note to Pixie’s Emporium: You have a good start here on the DVD as a whole. The biggest thing you need to work on right now are your boxcovers. I enjoy amateur movies, but when I first saw your boxcovers at one store I went right past them due to how amatuerish they looked. There’s nothing wrong with looking amateur, but what I’ve seen so far looks more incompetent than amateur.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight