Real Female Masturbation 3 Review

Reviewed by Endorphin  on  4/24/2001

Starring: Kelsie Chambers, Maria Madison, Michelle, Cassie, Monica Lopez, Angelina

Pros: Chicks Masturbating!, Kelsie's rythmic motion, Monica's incredible looks and eagerness, the women seem comfortable

Cons: self-indulgent porn (and I'm not talking about the chicks), guest appearances by Randy West's penis, Randy talks too damn much, low quality audio/video, does two sisters masturbating together count as incest?, who was that other person in the room?, menu music much louder than sound on movie

Pop quiz hot shot: Suppose you are directing a porno of females masturbating. Do you think most people who would buy that type of movie care whether or not you get off? Do you think they would want to see shots of you stroking yourself? If you are a man and you answered 'no' to both of the above call up New Machine and tell them you want to direct. They could use someone like you. If you answered 'yes' you are probably Randy West(or Ed Powers) and already have a contract with New Machine.

The Scenes:

Kelsie
Her style: slow, erotic, sensual, fluid, inviting
I'm sure the style section already has you turned on, but don't worry, just think that Randy West's penis will somehow be involved. That should cool you off.
This scene starts outdoors with Kelsie on a lawn chair. She starts out slowly. I was impressed by how she was able to show how good she is in bed by masturbating. Sometimes she would keep her fingers almost still and masturbate by moving her hips instead of her fingers. The solo party is moved inside where Randy gives her an interview. The problem is the interview is prolonged a bit and everytime you think the attention will be fully placed on Kelsie masturbating Randy starts talking again (blah blah blah). The bigger problem is Randy starts asking if he can jerk off with her. Once full attention is given to Kelsie it gets pretty damn good. She spreads her legs in a very inviting manner. She uses her fingers and toys. You can hear her breath. You can hear her moan. And nothing sounds forced or repetitive. She moves very seductively. The more she continued on, the more I liked her. Then the camera moves so that you can see Randy stroking his cock (What the Fuck!). At one point she seems totally fulfilled. Then the scene cuts and we return to her in full steam with Randy holding the camera above her while he jerks off and cums on her. It was as if during the time while the the camera was off Randy said, "Hey Babe! I don't care if you have to fake it, but we need to have footage of me coming on you. The viewer demands it".

Maria
Her style: a bit stiff
Maria is a black woman. Actually she is a mix of alot of different nationalities. She has a really wet pussy. When she talks and laughs she reminds me of Janis on friends, just not quite as extreme. She uses her fingers and toys.

Cassie and Michelle
Their style: all over the place
I always wanted to see a masturbation DVD that showed two women masturbating together. However, I was a bit uncomfortable with these two being sisters. The girls are good looking blondes with natural bodies. Randy interviews them. Cassie has previous porn experience. Randy asked Cassie if she had done men on camera. She responds, "I don't want to talk about it. It was a bad experience. But I do like men." (On a totally unrelated note[;)]: One of Cassie's first appearences was in 'Deep Inside Dirty Debutantes #24'). Cassie and Michelle are all over the place when they masturbate. They roll all over the bed and look at themselves in the mirror while they pleasure themselves with their fingers and toys. They are loud. Cassie even shrills musically. While this is all going on the viewer is made aware that there is a third girl in the room. You never see her face or naked body but you do hear her voice and see that she is masturbating through her clothes (makes ya wonder why she is never seen naked on camera. hmmmm). Of course Randy has to show the viewer that her is stroking himself. At one pont the girls are taken completely out of the shot. Then when it is all over an additional segment is added where the girls talk about how turned on they were watching Randy jerk off. And the viewer is left with but one thought (Shut up! Randy, Shut Up!).

Monica
Her style: eager, experimental, all over the place
Monica is a very hot brunette with incredible natural breasts. She uses her fingers and toys and moves to a variety of positions. Her movements are seductive and suggest that she is insatiable. DAMN! She is hot. She moans nice and breaths heavily. At one point she kicks the camera (Monica, next time Randy is back their kick the camera a bit harder). A good scene (but Randy still needs to shut up).

Angelina
Her style: posing
This scene starts off with 6 minutes of her on the balcony (a bit boring after awhile). Then she goes inside and masturbates. Angelina appears a bit older than the typical porn chick but that's OK, it just reminds me of tea with Miss McGill (HA! There's a reference for ya). She likes to anally pleasure herself then moves the toy into her pussy (Would have been better if they gave her a fresh toy. Guess they were a bit over budget.) A couple times Randy decides he wants more shots of the balcony even though sh is no longer their (Somehow I just don't trust his creative direction). When Angelina is done Randy asks if she wants to suck his dick and all of the sudden we have a blowjob movie. Then after he shoots they have a conversation that mostly sounds like Randy forgot her was trying to put out a high caliber product that viewers would enjoy (wait, he forgot that a long time ago, long before the movie started. Shut up! Randy, Shut Up! Shut Up!).

Shelf life: I'll keep it for Monica and Kelsie.

Bottom Line: The women make it an enjoyable experience. Unfortunately, the guy behind the camera seems to do just about anything he can to interfere with the viewer's enjoyment.