Quick & The Hard, The Review

Running Time: 89 min.

Production Date: 2 / 1999

Director: Bud Lee

Cast: Shanna McCullough, Chloe, Johnni Black, Anita Cannibal, Cheyenne Silver, Barrett Moore, Randy Spears, Steve Hatcher, Tyce Bune, Ian Daniels, and The Mystery Man

Initial Expectations: As with most other Adam & Eve releases, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect other than that it would probably be a couples movie.

Initial Reaction: Very good. It’s a very good couples movie while also keeping with the western feel. The combination made it a lot of fun to watch.

Audio /Video Quality: Average. The picture is pretty good, but it does suffer from some lighting problems. I’m torn on the lighting. You can see everything pretty good, but most of the scenes are in rooms lit by lanterns or candles so they wouldn’t be that bright. The audio varies. Normally it’s very well balanced, but there is some dubbing and a few spots where the dialogue is way too quiet.

Music: The music seems like it was stolen directly from one of the many spaghetti westerns from the sixties. It really adds a great feel to the movie and makes it seem as much western as porno. In most cases it’s very well balanced with the rest of the audio.

Review: The Quick and the Hard opens with Chloe about to take a bath. Of course, she massages many of her body parts after a hard day’s work. Unbeknownst to her, a cowboy (Steve Hatcher) is watching her from outside. He’s obviously a bad guy as a) he’s dressed in black and b) he’s smoking and thanks to the government we all know that only bad people smoke. After a little while, he can’t resist Chloe anymore and comes inside to tempt her with his evil tobacco and hard cock. This is a good opening scene and fans of Chloe won’t be disappointed. She even has one of her lips pierced here (which is the first of scene of her with a pierced labia). This scene was pretty good but suffered some from the camera work and audio balance. I couldn’t clearly hear the dialogue when Steve and Chloe were talking due to the music. Also, quite a bit of the scene was shot from outside looking through the window. This wouldn’t have been a problem if there wasn’t so much reflection on the glass. Most of Chloe’s upper body was covered by a reflection of the trees outside the cabin. Before Bad Cowboy Steve leaves, he tells Chloe that he’ll be back with his men in two weeks and the village better have enough to feed them. Unfortunately, food is in short supply and the villagers barely have enough to feed themselves. Bad Cowboy Steve doesn’t care and leaves to go ‘visit’ a bank.

In a nearby town, Shanna, Tyce, Bud Lee, and another old guy are in the middle of a card game. Bud and the other old guy accuse Shanna of cheating when she wins, but Tyce talks them out of doing anything to her and with the help of Shanna’s quick draw Bud and the other guy agree to leave town. Tyce goes back to his room upstairs and Shanna orders him to strip at gunpoint while she hides in the shadows. After she lets him know it’s her she agrees to his earlier offer of becoming partners. The only problem she has is that he’s been too much of a gentleman to her. He hasn’t made one pass at her and she’s going to show him how he should treat her. They head to the bed and Shanna shows why she’s had such a following as an adult actress. This is another really good scene and uses the shadows in the room as well as the mirror very well. This was a really hot scene and one of the best in the movie.

Downstairs in the bar, Barrett goes up to one of the cowboys to ask for help. Apparently somebody in the village had seen Battle Beyond the Stars or maybe Disney’s A Bug’s Life and decided to send her to town to get help. He’s only interested in how she could pay him carnally and gets fairly rude with her. Luckily Cowgirl Johnni shows up and with the help of Irish Barwench Anita tries to break things up. When they find out who the cowboy is they instead want to lynch him for rustling. Apparently, Johnni and Anita are partners and have been looking for this cowboy. Luckily for the cowboy, the sheriff shows up and takes him away. Barrett tells Johnni and Anita about her village and they agree to help. Shanna appears and also agrees to help.

The next day they all set off for the village. They spend the night at a cabin in the swamp where they meet Cheyenne, a friendly Indian. They all get to know each other as most women do in pornos and have a large lesbian love-fest in the cabin. This scene was slightly disappointing. The music was overpowering and felt very seventies-ish. There were also very few close-ups, which I also enjoy to some extent. Keeping with the western time period, there were also no toys. As much as I enjoy toys in all girl scenes, I’m really happy that Adam & Eve payed attention to details such as this. The next morning, Cheyenne decides to join the ladies on their mission to save the village as the bad guys destroyed her village. Cheyenne does a really great job throughout the scene of playing the mysterious Indian who knows all because they listen to the wind.

When the ladies get to where the bad guys are, Anita comes up with a plan to divide and conquer, since the simplest plans are always the best. Shanna waits outside, which unfortunately means that we’ve seen the last of her bumping uglies, while the others go to conquer the bad guys. Barrett goes inside as a serving wench and conquers the Mystery Man while the other guys play cards. The other guys watch a little until Randy heads outside to be met by Johnni and Cheyenne. A little later, Steve sends Ian out to look for Randy while he continues to watch the action inside. Ian hears Randy and the girls and is about to head in when Anita takes him to another room.

The action flips between the three scenes, which I never really like. It always seems like the action is always interrupted as soon as it gets going good. Out of the three scenes, the scene between Randy, Cheyenne, and Johnni kept the momentum going the best. Inside, Steve watches Barrett and The Mystery Man, never joining in. This is an okay scene, but nothing outstanding. It would have been better if it wasn’t split up with the other two scenes. Both Johnni and Cheyenne do a great job of sharing Randy and the scene probably works the best out of the three because the action is frequently split between the girls. Both Johnni and Cheyenne are also very good looking and have great chemistry between each other and Randy. Anita’s scene is okay, but her breasts are so fake that I can’t help but not care for the scene so much. When she was riding Ian reverse cowgirl they barely moved. It was sad, as she has a very natural look to her, except for her boobs. This scene was also one of the ones that seemed to suffer quite a bit form the lighting.

Finally, Shanna walks in and catches Steve off guard. She makes him remove his gunbelt and walk outside. Outside the other girls have all the other guys on their horses without any clothes. She forces Steve to strip and the guys to all eave and never return. Being an old fashioned western, the bad guys never do. Unless, of course, there’s a sequel.

Extras: Bios, slide show, trailers, website, and phone sex. The bios are for all the girls except. Barrett Moore and doesn’t cover any of the guys. The slide show is pretty good and covers twenty stills. The trailers are for Caribbean Undercover, Devoured, Perfectly Flawless, Taboo of Tarot, and The Collector.

Themes: Straight, lesbian, group, anal, rimming (female > female), light spanking, and tit-fucking

Raincoat Factor: Medium. There’s a lot of plot, but it’s pretty easily skipped.

Overall: Currently, The Quick and the Hard can be found online for between $15 and $23. I wouldn’t pay over about $18 for it even though I really enjoyed it. It does exactly what it sets out to do. It’s a light adult western with better than average sex. The audio and video are both pretty good as are the extras. If you enjoy any of the cast or the old spaghetti westerns, pick this one up. I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

Note to Adam & Eve: This is a very enjoyable porno. It’s nothing that’s going to stand out to everybody, but I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work. A set of real credits would have been great here.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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