Private X-Treme 3: 18 Birthday Presents Review

After an opening where an American overdubbed voice speaking as Lenka (i.e. Natalie) introduces the story over a backdrop of horribly twee music, we see the marvellous slim brunette Patricia hosting a coffee morning for her girlfriends - I half expected Oprah to come on and start the show. Instead, the rather shy looking brunette Lenka arrives, clutching a teddy bear (for Christ's sake, most 18 year olds are doing everything they can to appear grown up, she's wearing fluffy animal slippers!!!). With her curvy but naïve friend so obviously in dire need of some rapid growing up, Patricia decides to throw a party for Lenka's birthday, and despatches her friends Daniella, Kate and Kelly to organise various things.

Meanwhile Mr. Marcus shows up, his dialogue being "live" while Patricia's is dubbed, making for odd conversation as they give Lenka her first sex lesson of the day. Lenka looks like such a little sweetheart as she watches, and then copies, Patricia's blowjob on Marcus, still clutching her toy. At this stage the girls are fully clothed, but next thing you know, Patricia's nude and riding Marcus' tool. The naïve youngster watches, looking nervous but hardly enthralled. Patricia throws herself into it and enjoys herself with a good old stuffing for her always-accommodating bottom soon on the cards. Reverse cowgirl anal leads to doggy, captured with some raw close-ups of wide-open orifices thrown in, as Marcus stuffs Patricia's backside with cock. Patricia ends it by sucking Marcus off, taking his come in her mouth and then dribbling it out, before flicking tongues with Lenka, who appears genuinely reticent.

Kelly and Daniella are in the bedroom, cooking up a plan to give Lenka one guy for each year of her life. Lenka walks in and Kelly and Daniella decide to demonstrate "lesbian" sex to her. Let's rush straight past an outbreak of dildo sucking silliness, to the more agreeable vision of Lenka looking earnestly at Daniella popping a vibrator into Kelly's pussy. Daniella beckons Lenka over to push a clear butt plug into Kelly's ass. Daniella, the long legged Czech beauty who has worked with Nacho and Rocco among many others, has her talents really wasted in this scene, and similarly I can't help feeling Le Castel doesn't get the best out of Kelly, who he has cast on several occasions before. They do look good, a mix of long legs and heels, long hair and pert tits, but sexually it's so stilted, it's really not my cup of tea.

Still, things improve as it progresses, no more so than when Daniella and Kelly lie back, spread their legs, and fill their own bottoms with large baton-style toys; better still when Lenka administers the dildos for them. Now that is quite sexy. Lenka, who again stays fully clothed throughout the scene, further helps the girls use a double dong toy, anally, of course, and finishes it off by rubbing their clits till they come to screaming orgasms. Allegedly. Kelly and Daniella reward her with sweet little kisses, which is almost sexier that what's gone before. That is a measure of the sheer absence of genuine passion or spontaneity in the scene, rather than an indication of any preference for softer stuff on my part.

Patricia goes looking for guys to attend the party, and a tip brings her to a factory where rumour has it that the boss, Steve Holmes, can supply the studs. Obviously the birthday bash is going to be a classy affair. But first, Patricia must test the merchandise, a four-man sample will do for now. Robert Rosenberg is one of the guys and he starts touching her up, pulling down her jeans and removing her trendy clothes to reveal those lovely boobs that stand up braless, an open invitation to Leslie, Choky and Steve to join in.

Steve picks her up and spins her on to his shoulders so he can eat her pussy, then she gets down to suck dick, going from cock to cock with some abandon, before kneeling on a chair so she can be fucked from behind while she keeps sucking. The delicious contrast between Patricia's sweetly pretty looks and marvellous slim figure, and her wanton sexual performances, has been shown before now (e.g. in Hustler XXX 12 or Animal Trainer 9) but again I find it hard to believe a girl who looks like she does can act the way she does. Well, I can imagine it quite easily, to be honest, but you see the point.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand - lots and lots of fucking for Patricia, as each guy has a shot at her pussy, and then they break out the Vaseline for the inevitable excursion into Patricia's well-travelled bunghole. She seems to love all the male attention, even some hefty double penetration, and lots of it, and she takes it in the ass like she really likes it. Honestly. Even Steve Holmes' long dick, right up her ass. Chuck in more DP (lifted up too), anal and Le Castel's trademark gaping anus shots (Patricia's gaping anus, not Le Castel's…now that is a gruesome thought), and we have a marathon scene. It ends with unfortunate use of the "queue of wanking men waiting their turn to spunk on her face" shot (Steve Holmes' behaviour behind Leslie is especially odd), which they duly do. Patricia, dribbling come, announce that they are hired - and as many more as they can muster too.

Kate leads blindfolded Lenka into the party room, set in a nightclub, and the waiting crowd of men already in their underpants. The blindfold is removed; Lenka is presented with a cake and, soon after, lots of cocks to suck. Dark brunette Kate swiftly involves herself too, her slinky, slim figure a contrast to Lenka's youthful curves.

Lenka is fed cream from the cake from someone's fingers, and off someone's cock, before we finally get to see her lovely boobs as she rides a dick. The guys, including someone who looks like Enrico Annoni (ex-Celtic and Roma defender… I wondered what happened to him), gather round the girls in time honoured gangbang style, which as usual makes it difficult to see what's happening, though it's not too bad. More cream is spread on Kate's ass, a finger is popped in and soon enough we see her taking anal and DP action while Lenka busies herself with as many cocks as she can.

It gets a little confusing about what's happening to whom around here, perhaps intentionally, as Kate seems to take more of the action. She's much more adept sexually, though she rather tends to accept pricks passively. Though there's a great shot of Lenka's round butt prior to a first attempt at anal, she rather fades into the shadows as the guys crowd around and the action keeps drifting back to Kate. While Lenka looks decidedly uncomfortable, and indeed the camera keeps missing it even if they do get it in her ass, Kate has no problems with anal which keeps the pot boiling.

Finally, there's a clear shot of Lenka, looking so beautiful, "enjoying" the anal sex. Soon after, the girls are positioned side by side for doggy style anal sex, which seems to work better and we see Lenka getting more into the gangbang swing of things, with a procession of guys using her ass and mouth. I really am unsure what it did for her though. Kate treats us to some anal gaping; Lenka rides a dick with her ass and then gets on her knees to suck cock one last time. Finally, the girls are positioned as for 69, guys come on Kate's ass and the mess runs down into Lenka's mouth. She licks the come from Kate's pussy and ass, before Kate takes several facials and once it's all done (though I didn't keep count it hardly seems like 18 guys shot their loads), Lenka laughs as Kate and she come swap and kiss. Happy Birthday indeed.

There's no doubt 18 Birthday Presents has a good deal more polish and professionalism about it than Le Castel's older movies. It's decently shot and edited, but beneath the superficial sheen lies an oddly tame movie. What I mean by this is that despite a wealth of genuinely strong hardcore sex, this remains a distinctly dispassionate production - what could have been an exciting story about a young girl's induction into a world of wild sex is really a tepid tale with only sporadic spells of excitement. With its bland style and contrived situations, Le Castel's static direction makes it come across like a hardcore soap opera, a feeling reinforced by the irritating dubbing of dialogue and on the set piece gang bang sex scene - the sound seems like a loop of daft comments from the crowd of men.

As for our little star, Natalie, Natalka, Lenka, whatever her real name is, I couldn't help but wonder if the Lenka I saw girlishly bouncing on a bed for Gabriel Zero in Le Seigneur des Anus ever envisaged that, just a few short months later, she would end up doing the things she does in this movie, and others. It doesn't help the movie that she looks alternately bored, anxious, shy - but rarely as nervously excited as a girl in her unlikely role might conceivably be. I am sure other directors will no doubt get more out of her than Jean Yves Le Castel does here. The potential was there, but aside from Patricia Diamond (who impresses as always, but you can see she's a real pro), it's been largely wasted.

The picture quality on this movie is very good indeed, as is the sound, my observations about the sheer irritation of the dubbing notwithstanding. The extras are as follows: picture gallery, cast information, production notes, trailers, and DVD Rom section. I'd have liked a report - these were often the best part of some of Le Castel's Matador series. The menus are good, the language and subtitle options comprehensive.