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Private's scattergun approach to product development continues with yet
another new series. This one mixes sex with action sports and as the title
suggests this first edition features motocross in a tale of rivalry between
two biking brothers. Combining this with a cast, American and non-American,
mostly familiar to the So Cal porn scene all sounds a million miles away
from Private's traditional fare and I can imagine many Private die-hards
throwing their hands up in despair. But does it work?
The story
After a promising title sequence with motocross action blending with nighttime
views of Los Angeles and accompanied by loud rock music, I was expecting
things to kick off with some fast action. Instead, I am baffled by an
extremely conventional, almost soap opera style drama with the two lead
characters, played by Steven St Croix and Michelle Marie (I am guessing
- she's only credited on the movie, not the box or notes) meeting at a
party, and before it's even been established who they are or why we should
be vaguely interested in them, here's a flashback sex scene…
This is the main problem with the movie. Essentially, it's told via a
conversation between Steven and Michelle at the party. Flashbacks are
used illustrate some of what he tells her, though oddly some of the most
crucial events in the story are left without visual representation. The
motorcycling action is provided by beautifully shot but apparently random
collections of racers scorching round desert tracks and dune seas - no
attempt is made to even create the illusion that the actors are racing
the bikes. You never see Steven riding a motorcycle - he doesn't even
appear in the biking scenes, which look very pretty but seem strangely
pointless. Another example: we see an indoor motocross race and then afterwards,
revealing what is effectively the crux of the story, Steven claims the
race was so hard that his brother crashed and died. None of this is shown!
Sex scenes are similarly blended in as recollections with the set-up provided
by St Croix's voiceover. Telling the story in this way leaves a fairly
tenuous connection between narrative and sex, as the actual performers
in the sex scenes do little more than turn in a conventional porn performance.
Thus, Steven and Michelle do pretty much all the acting. Frankly, the
maudlin biker's self-pitying story is hardly gripping and the two leads
supply suitably perfunctory performances as the tale reaches a remarkably
unsatisfactory conclusion.
The sex
Venus
First scene is a flashback to illustrate events Michelle witnessed. A
couple frolic in the bathtub. Pretty brunette Venus, sadly the American
rather than the Czech, starts off in pink lingerie as she has a soft-focus
splash with British cocksman Steve Hooper. The slow camera moves and the
use of dissolves between positions say it all - stilted, over-played pseudo-sensuality
and it's bland, bland, bland. So we have mutual oral sex, reverse cowgirl,
doggy style splashing in the tub but it's greatly lacking in energy -
that only appears briefly in standing doggy and spoons. Steve comes on
her stomach.
Cassie Young
This scene shows how St Croix's brother (Australian stud Craig Moore,
not Rangers' Australian international centre back…or is it Aussie Thunder?)
gets into the pants of a racing team boss' girlfriend, played by the lovely
blonde Cassie Young. Here she's in denim hot pants and a white vest, but
these don't last long as the pair fuck and suck in the back of a pick
up, nicely illuminated by the strong sun in this desert location. Cassie
writhes under his tongue, and then shows off her good looks, pretty eyes
and skill with a cock as she sucks and then fucks her man. She's lively
and energetic though a lot of their comments come off as wooden. Still,
Cassie's good to watch in action, through doggy, reverse cowgirl and missionary
positions till Craig shoots a big load on her tits. It's a good, professional
piece of work. That's about it.
Austin O'Riley and Renee Pornero
Craig has all the luck with the girls, copping off in another desert spot
not only with his brother's girlfriend but her pal too. Austin O'Riley,
she of the long blond hair and superb big bum, and the eminently watchable
Austrian brunette Renee Pornero are the girls who join forces to blow
the pony-tailed stud, sit on his face and ride his dick in the orangey
evening light, which is attractive even if it does make for some inconsistent
shots, exacerbated by sharp editing which rarely lingers long on any one
shot. After spoons, doggy sex and oral on the Humvee vehicle, the moon
is rising like an unintentional metaphor by the time Austin cheerfully
takes the Aussie cocksman into her ass. Renee's involvement is little
more now than to rub Austin's clit and to join in taking come on her tits.
What a waste of talent - another good-looking scene is actually so insubstantial
that it threatens to waft away in the desert breeze.
Jesse V and Laurie Wallace
As the centrepiece of a party in a hangar, thrown to celebrate St Croix's
rivals' victory, this girl-girl affair seems almost entirely done for
effect. Attractive blonde Laurie rubs her implants against cute brunette
Jesse's nice natural pair as the duo get it on in a helicopter. They proceed
to indulge in some terribly overplayed "lesbian" licks, toy play and so
forth, all of which I find pretty worthless in a sexual sense. It might
be pleasant to look at but it doesn't push my buttons at all. Indeed,
it seems to go on forever.
Austin and Petra
Austin, supposedly Steven's wayward girlfriend, who oddly enough is never
seen with him in this role, enters into a group scene with rival team
boss (Mark Ashley) as well as Steve Hooper and cute but under-utilised
French brunette Petra. Though it doesn't appear to be noted on the box,
this scene has multi-angles, including one that reveals the crew operating
the cameras and dolly etc. I don't really care for this feature but at
least it's a distraction from the humdrum sex. The usual sort of fucking
and sucking ensues with the camera rarely lingering long on any given
shot, which is possibly just as well as no-one appears overenthusiastic.
One highlight is a great but all too brief shot of Austin's amazing ass
as the girls both ride their men in reverse cowgirl. But largely it all
washes over me, amid bland music and bland styling, filling out time with
limp tribadism, group groping and very brief anal sex for Austin before
the guys shoot come on the girls' tits.
Jessica Dee
The final sex scene happens as an almost entirely gratuitous illustration
of goings-on at Steven's party, just as Michelle and he are leaving. Lively
Czech blonde Jessica, who I fully admit is just not for me, throws herself
with typical commitment into a gangbang with Steve Hooper, John West and
the gruesome twosome of Dick Nasty and Brain (sic) Surewood. Jessica
sucks cock as the guys take turns at her pussy and the fast-moving edit
ushers the scene along, sometimes with little focus. After some anal,
it does linger a little more on further vaginal sex and then on a couple
of DPs. The guys wrap up the action by shooting their loads onto her body
and face, leaving her in a mess as she sucks their cocks.
Overall
Taking Moto XXX on a purely superficial level, at first glance it might
look just about acceptable. Perhaps. Bikes, birds, loud music, flashy
images, explicit sex? It seems like a potentially fun mix and a slick
production with plenty of contemporary appeal. But below the surface,
the cracks are beginning to show. For example, thinking of the racing
fraternity as a bunch of live-fast, die-young studs who live life on the
edge and matching that with the requisite fast women, then, yeah, I could
see that bike racing could make a lively backdrop for a porn flick. Therefore
it seems rather limp that British director Gazzman should instead opt
to match quite dreary melodrama with the usual gratuitous sex and these
barely connected motorcycle interludes. They are well staged and photographed
(indeed the photography, directed by Ken Preston, is generally quite impressive)
to a high standard, but seem to have little reference to the events described
in the narrative. Is the viewer supposed to just imagine that's
Steven's character racing around?
The other element to all of this is that while Moto XXX lines up plenty
of fine looking women, and that's leaving aside the issue of what sort
of cast one might expect in a Private movie, the sex is very, very formulaic.
There's no real passion, no-one breaks out of the mould, and the way it's
all edited, seemingly to keep things ticking over, feels like an admission
that the subject matter isn't really interesting enough to maintain attention
on its own. Maybe that's unfair, but that's the way it feels to me. It's
really not very exciting at all. Moto XXX is as racy as a moped with L-plates.
DVD Comments
While the movie doesn't match its glossy trappings, the quality of disc
is pretty damn good. Obviously using top-rate source material, the picture
and sound quality are first class. I'm not sure why it's not mentioned
on the box, but there is one multi-angle scene. There are five audio and
five subtitle languages, something Private do better than most. Extras
are as follows: a 13-minute "Making Of" short, with a great Steve Irwin
impression from Mr Aussie Thunder as a highlight; Talking Dirty - a minute
of dirty talk from Cassie Young; Bouncing Breasts - four minutes of…bouncing
breasts (!); backstage and movie photobooks and of course, trailers. There's
also the usual DVD-Rom section. It's a neatly assembled package.
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