Private Gold 81: Porn Wars Review

Director: Kovi
Running time: 1:55
Cast listing:
Scene 1 – Sandra Parker (a, dp with dildo) with a guy
Scene 2 – Mya Diamond (a) with a guy
Scene 3 – Liz Honey (a) & Nikky Rider with a guy
Scene 4 – Tera Bond with a guy
Scene 5 – Mya Diamond with Victoria Swinger
Scene 6 – Tera Bond (a) & Victoria Swinger (dp) with 2 guys

My very short review:
Porn Wars - Episode 1: Cum Join The Force! is Private’s take on the popular Star Wars franchise. To keep the storyline simple and probably because hiring Ewoks was not in the budget, the plot centers around the remaining Jodi Knights, led by Tera Bond secretly training the next generation of Jodis as they war against the evil Seth, who are led by Victoria Swinger.

The Seth are aided by Mya Diamond, who has turned to the dark side and betrays the locations of the Jodis. However, the Jodis use Mya as a puppet to spring a trap on the Seth and the good guys win. Yeah!

For a porn movie, there was a lot of effort put into the special effects and CGI. There was actually a space battle scene as the Jodi ship had to fend off Seth fighter planes. Not too bad.

Where this movie suffered was both in the acting and lack of star power. The dialogue was unimaginative and delivered in drab fashion. There was no English overdubbing but the dialogue was hard to make out at times due to the heavy non-English accents. As for the casting, I’m not sure that Tera, Mya and Victoria can attract viewers and this flick didn’t dispel that theory.

In comparison to Sex City, this Private production doesn’t fare as well. The sex action here was better but the acting and script fell short. Maybe the Star Wars franchise isn’t the best franchise to spoof.

Noteworthy extra(s):
The 2nd disc contains the extras for the entire trilogy and include the following:
- Making of Porn Wars – 41 minutes
- Photo session with Roxanne (from Porn Wars II) – 4 minutes
- Featurette – 3 minutes

Summary:
If you like these extravagant productions from Private, then you won’t be disappointed. Maybe my expectations were too high after the success of Sex City but give this a shot as a rental.

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