Private Film 1: Anal Academy Review

Anal Academy
Private
Directed by Steve Perry
Starring: Tabatha Cash, Debbie Van Gils, Jeanette Lange, Lucy Lane, Suzzanah, Vanessa d'Angely, Frank Thring, John Van Dam, Tomas, Touri Borissenko.
Running time: 1hr 16mins

Finally released on DVD, Anal Academy was a historic movie in its time - an early directorial outing for Steve "Ben Dover" Perry, the first feature from Private, and a movie that gained certain notoriety in the UK, where it was shot, among those of us who had to rely on bootleg VHS tapes for our illicit dose of hardcore. I ended up with an unwatchable nth generation copy, so it's interesting to see with digital clarity how Anal Academy has fared some 10 years on (there's some contradiction about dates - the date of shooting is stated as 1992, it's copyrighted 1993).

In a quick opening scene, before the titles, pretty brunette Suzzanah encounters a rather ugly chap having a wank (over a Private mag, naturally) in a stable. She feels compelled to watch and with her boobs spilling out of her little top, he goes down on her and she rides him briefly before having her face coated in come. She smiles at the camera in classic Private style.

The story begins properly after the cast - who I confess are perhaps not quite what viewers might associate with Private - have been introduced. Frank Thring, for it is he, doing the same bumbling Englishman act as he does today, plays the headmaster at St Luciens School for Young Ladies. He is forced to tell off the cute Dutch brunette Debbie Van Gils that her teasing attire is not appropriate for girls at this supposedly upper-crust establishment. She just shows him her panty-crotch and puts his hand on her boob before running off giggling, leaving Frank flustered.

Accompanied by some period music, i.e. cheesy house, an aerobics class is in progress outdoors with instructor Henry Van Damp (credited as John Van Dam) taking the chance to get unethically close to the scantily clad girls. Meanwhile, the headmaster is introduced to the new French teacher, Miss Le Coq, played by French star Tabatha Cash, in a conversation laden with double entendres. Henry pops in and offers Tabatha a workout some time - vampish Tabatha makes the always ridiculous Van Damp look doubly so.

After a slapstick incident involving a blonde (Vanessa d'Angely), a flash of panties and a handyman, Debbie (who, while still cute, doesn't look quite as good as I've seen her in some Harry S. Morgan efforts of the time) and curvy English blonde Lucy come looking for exercise tips from Van Damp, who is "reluctantly" cajoled into accepting the two girls' tongues and pink lips fluttering over his cock. He tongues and fingers Debbie's tight pussy, she slides her tongue inside the blonde's cut-off denims, which are still on as Henry rides her as the girls 69. With the girls piled together, he fucks each in turn, then they move to missionary with Debbie sitting on the blonde's face. Debbie's reverse cowgirl ride becomes an anal one and finally Henry pops on Debbie's face and she passes the come to Lucy. The girls tongue fence and smile sweetly.

Miss Le Coq then takes an unconventional French lesson. The lusty mademoiselle shows the sexually frustrated girls, who have to resort to reading Private magazines, how to suck cock using dildos. While she slips off her clothes down to lacy lingerie and stockings, a couple of the young ladies drift off into dreams where they are sucking real cock. In reality, all they have to suck is Tabatha's strap-on. Debbie, Lucy and Vanessa - it's an exclusive school with a small population, you see - play together while Tabatha gleefully shafts Suzzanah with the strap-on in doggy.

As night falls on the school, Jeanette Lange, one of the teachers, is seen is a rather risqué, "artistically" lit scene, a dream of sorts. She is tied to the bed, blindfolded, as hands come out of the dark and run all over her body, and cocks are slipped into her mouth. The faceless guys grope the helpless but willing woman and use her mouth until they pour two loads of spunk on her face and she lewdly sucks the cocks clean. Incidentally, the scene is accompanied by a tune strongly reminiscent of Sade's "Smooth Operator".

Meanwhile, Debbie is using a ladder to "escape" over the school wall for a moonlight rendezvous, which actually appears to have been lit with a torch, with a chap called Richard. He emerges from the shadows and immediately lifts her skirt, brusquely gropes her bottom and starts taking her from behind. She throws her head back in ecstasy as he fucks her in missionary, and then she strokes him off towards, though his come mainly misses, her face. Unfortunately, the headmaster catches her in flagrante, and as she relates to her girlfriends in the bedroom, she is to be expelled for her inappropriate behaviour. They plot revenge, specifically blackmail.

As she serves after-dinner coffee to the staff, no-one notices Debbie slipping a little something extra in there, and soon the drugged teachers have all conked out. The headmaster is soon bound to his chair, trousers removed, while Ms Le Coq and the PE teacher waken from their slumbers feeling strangely horny. The girls pursue their blackmail plot by snapping rude pictures with a Polaroid camera as Tabatha wraps red painted lips round Henry's cock. The dark-eyed, olive-skinned Frenchwoman's star quality is perfectly apparent - she looks positively sinful, and the way she devours his cock is pornography personified.

With dress removed and stocking-clad legs flexing, Tabatha rides Henry's cock and then takes it doggy style, as a couple of the girls' young male friends arrive. Jeanette, who I'm afraid just isn't very attractive, is roused and throws one nervous young fellow into a chair for a blowjob, while the other guy takes over fucking Tabatha. The genteel coffee time has turned into an orgy!

Henry has Jeanette riding his cock, and Vanessa, who has joined in (in reality, the brassy blonde is more than a few years past school leaving age), sitting on his face. Tabatha is now being taken anally, Debbie and Lucy are getting into some girl-girl fun, and then Tabatha sucks her young man to the inevitable facial finish. Lovely Suzzanah has also made an appearance, spreading her superb legs, accented by black nylons, so that Vanessa can lick her pussy. While Jeanette is being double penetrated, Suzzanah is further spreading those glorious legs and making lovely faces at the camera, slightly silly but delightful. The young chap's prick slathers spunk on Suzzanah's pretty face, Jeanette and Vanessa coax the come from Henry's cock and spend some time licking and playing with the mess.

Next day, everyone gathers in the drawing room for an Agatha Christie style ending, with the headmaster presented with the damning photographic proof of the debauchery, and a few revelations are made about the other characters too…

Overall
It's hard to believe that such a harmless piece of saucy fun as Anal Academy could take on any kind of infamy, but then the fact is that when this was made such material was completely illegal in Britain. Indeed, this movie represents more than just another porn flick in one regard - it was about Steve Perry bouncing back. Readers might not be aware that Steve and his partner, the top glamour model and occasional porn star Linzi Drew, were actually imprisoned for selling a few hardcore videos, the kind of material that we can now (almost) freely buy. Steve's work in this period for Private not only set himself on the right road again, but also made a significant contribution to the Private success story too.

As for the movie itself, I can't deny that Anal Academy does look dated. Perhaps after monster anal rampages by Rocco Siffredi, where a single scene can last almost as long as this entire movie, Anal Academy has lost some of its impact, but that's not necessarily a fair comparison. Essentially this is just a cheeky, sexy little tale with some predictable but welcome humour interspersing sex that is gentle by today's standards. The obvious low budget enforces certain limitations in terms of the small cast and restricted production values - the girls are not quite the ravishing beauties of Private lore, nor is the location anything other than a few rooms in someone's country pile - but Perry handles it all with some creativity, and the cast respond with enthusiasm. The then all-natural, but always alluring, Tabatha Cash makes her mark too.

I can't help feeling warm-hearted towards Anal Academy - I am sure many viewers will find it deficient in several aspects, but that's not my concern. If you're interested in porn in the broader sense, it's certainly worth a look at this cheap and cheerful gem. It's certainly interesting to use it as a yardstick to compare ten years of Private development - from bright and breezy anal action in a girls' boarding school, to Michael Ninn's CGI smut.

DVD Comments
The picture quality is, perhaps understandably given the age of the movie, slightly lacking, though it does make one wonder just how poor some of the material from this period that Private now consider too poor for DVD release really is. The sound is strong, though some dialogue could be better, with plenty of glorious porno music to entertain you! In terms of the DVD itself, there are language and subtitle options galore, but the menus are hardly brimming with extras - there are only a few photos and cast and production information. Trailers don't really count.