Private Black Label 21: Lust Tango In Paris Review

Lust Tango In Paris
(Private Black Label)
Directed by Kovi
Starring: Michelle Wild, Christine Scott, Mandy, Caty, Mercedes, Dora Venter, Mia Stone, Ian Scott, Pascal St James, Philippe Dean, Sebastian Barrio, Steve Holmes
Released: October 2001

Sharing no more than the location and a crude misappropriation of a name with Bernardo Bertolucci's dark masterpiece, Lust Tango In Paris is Hungarian director Kovi's lively but tremendously rudimentary tale of a young girl who falls under the spell of a mysterious artist. In truth little attention is paid to the niceties of plot and character development - instead the robust Magyar moviemaker chooses to focus on several young beauties engaged in various delightful sex scenes. Hey, stories, who needs them?

The fact of the matter is that this movie is about one true star - or should I say three stars? Being an appreciator of the whole woman, I do hate to be so bluntly sexist, but there's no way around it. Last Tango's three outstanding features are, of course, Michelle Wild and Michelle Wild's tits. This wonderful brunette sex bomb plays a young girl, on vacances in Paris, who meets an enigmatic artist (played by the underrated Philippe Dean). He's too busy with his latest masterpiece (read: dabbing ineffectually at a cheap print) to pay attention to her charms, and certainly won't sell her his painting. He does invite her around later…are you imagining what's going to happen?

Christine and Philippe
Philippe retires to his limousine, where his assistant Christine Scott (a pale, buxom brunette featured in Christoph Clark's movies as Gina - she looks much better here) gives him a relaxing blowjob. And what a long, lingering oral session it is. So long and lingering, in fact, that there is a sense of deja-vu every time the view cuts away, and returns to Philippe's grimacing mug and groping hands all over Christine's big tits. Haven't we been here before? It's a relief when he comes over her face.

Michelle and Steve
While Philippe is returning to his chateau, Michelle is being intruded on while enjoying a bubble bath. Bellboy Steve Holmes brings room service champagne, but can't resist a peek at Michelle's fabulous body as she lathers her boobs. And who can blame him? Steve, if you are reading this - you lucky bastard. Because unlike in real life, voyeur Steve is invited to taste Michelle's tits rather than an arresting officer's boot don't do that sort of thing anymore. They enjoy a superb shag, including deep anal, in a wealth of penetrating positions all around the bathroom, capped off by a facial. Looks like they had fun…I did, and I was only watching. Well, not just watching, but I can't imagine you want to hear about that.

Dora, Mercedes, Yann, Pascal
For no particular reason we jump straight into another hot scene, with Dora Venter (blonde, petite, gorgeous - a popular Private starlet) and Mercedes (brunette, slim, gorgeous - seen in some Clark efforts last year too) taking on Pascal and Ian (Yann) Scott in a no messing group scene. At some point around here, Michelle tries to phone her friend Dora - but no one hears the phone, and besides, she can't talk with her mouth full. Dora sucks like her life depended on it. Both girls ride frantically on the thrusting cocks; Dora takes one up her ass, and then stuffs herself with a dildo while watching Mercedes being double penetrated.

Caty and Christine
Moving swiftly along, we are treated to an attractive if slightly unnatural lesbian scene between brunettes Caty and Christine Scott. The girls look good playing together over the bonnet of the limousine, progressing from oral to fingering to dildo insertions in pussy and ass. They light up a grey day as Philippe watches from the window - to be honest this is all show for the boys.

Mia, Mandy and Philippe
After setting up Philippe's latest "masterpiece" (cough) in a rather odd little ritual that is neither properly explained or really of much consequence, the lovely Mia Stone, an exceptionally personable young girl with light brown hair and mesmerising eyes, and Mandy, who with her blonde hair and heels could easily be taken for an Essex girl (note to "foreign" readers - Essex, a South Eastern county of the UK, is renowned for its "outgoing" young ladies of immodest dress and manners), begin passionately kissing Philippe. They give his cock a fantastic oral workout, and aim some scintillating glances at the camera as they ride him with sheer enjoyment. The sex gets pretty heated - including some ramrod anal for Mandy - before this dynamic duo cause Philippe to weakly expend his juices, sharing the meagre load.

Dora, Steve and Sebastian
Back at Michelle's hotel, Steve is boasting to chef Sebastian about his encounter with Michelle. He insists on going up to the room to check her out, but there they meet Dora - Michelle having already gone the other way, in a moment of low comedy - who is worried about missing her friend. Next thing we know, Dora is spread out on the bed, with Seb's cock in her mouth and Steve's face between her thighs. The guys give her a proper seeing too, especially during a lifted-up DP, but what's most notable here again is her desire to suck cock. It's truly remarkable how this pretty, but not inaccessibly so, almost prim young woman turns into an awesome sexual creature. Sure, it may all be for the money but Dora earns every penny. Look at the way she tosses the guys off till they streak her face and body with sperm.

Michelle and Philippe
At last we arrive, by a circuitous if scenic route, at the climactic encounter between Philippe and Michelle. It's well worth waiting for. He cryptically explains that she can't have his painting, but she can become part of the artist and the art. They start kissing with some sparks flying, and Philippe helps himself to every inch of her glorious curves. She's so nasty as she sucks his cock, but it's her totally uninhibited performance riding on his tool that makes this scene an absolute pleasure. Initially she's giving the camera some nasty glances, but soon she's so into the sex that it's all that matters. Even a limited amount of anal is of little consequence compared to the sheer exhilaration of the lusty fucking on show. Michelle is only too willing to coax a load from Philippe's dick, by combination of mouth, ample cleavage and hand, onto her beautiful face.

I shall leave the supernatural twist at the end to your imagination (you will still need to use it after watching the movie) and Kovi's school play standard special effects. The less said, the better.

Overall
In case it needs repeating, I only have good things to report about the lovely, enthusiastic girls in Lust Tango - especially Michelle, Mia and Dora. In addition to this, it's a "stockings and suspender" man's wet dream - with the exception of Michelle's bath time scene, all the girls are clad in a fantastic array of nylons. However, hardcore foot fetishists will once again be tantalised but ultimately frustrated by mainstream porn's desire to crop feet out of the frame! Fortunately, there's enough compensation in the sensational shape of girls that would reduce grown men to tears.

The criticisms, for there have to be some, are less to do with the sex (though it does seem that the scenes are, for my taste, a touch too stage-managed, as if there's, say, 3.5 minutes allotted for oral, 4.5 minutes for doggy, 4.5 for anal and so on per scene) and more to do with the simply superfluous plot, such as it is, the bizarre dubbing dilemma (dialogue is dubbed, sex scenes are not - so actors talk in completely different voices while screwing!), the faintly awkward direction, slapdash presentation and the somewhat cheap nature of the production. Honestly, they could have (and may well have) shot it at home in Budapest as in Paris for all the use Kovi makes of the location.

I also found the way that the girls are encouraged to shoot "nasty" looks at the camera at every opportunity during the sex, rather than concentrating on their partners, became a little bit annoying. Surely conventional wisdom has it that the actors don't acknowledge the camera in a "feature" film, unless you're maybe talking Woody Allen. And this isn't Woody Allen, folks - but fuck it, wouldn't you rather look at Michelle Wild? Come on - I know you would!

DVD Comments
It may be a source footage issue, but I am not sure the picture quality is quite up to the standard I expect from Private, though it's perfectly respectable. Audio quality is fine. The DVD is presented well, with extensive language options and extras. Trailers and such like are all good and well but the real value is in a report (some nice insights into chilly outdoors filming and the girls' personalities - who would have known Christine was such fun from her gothic demeanour in her appearances for Clark? - despite the hyperbolic narration's stream of pure bullshit), full cast and movie info and DVD Rom extras which include a screen saver and desktop wallpaper pics as well as the usual Private DVD catalogue and website materials.