NY Cum Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  7/11/2004

There is a vast difference between an amateur film and an amateurish film. I fear this one falls into the latter category. We view the action either from a stationary camera or from a wobbling hand-held one. The editing—if indeed it has been edited, I think the camera just starts and stops—jerks from one dick to another.

Our host and major suckee for these proceedings is a chap who calls himself Marc Spitz. (No, he is not the Olympic gold medal swimmer.) Marc is not a bad looking guy. He has a blondish mustache and goatee, and a rather nice body. It’s his constant chatter that gets one down. Didn’t his momma ever tell him not to talk with his mouth full?

The setting for the first scene is a cheap hotel room. After an unrehearsed intro, a brownish uncut cock protruding from a hairy beer belly comes into view. Marc sucks it a bit and the guy jacks off into Marc’s mouth. Now, I used to like cum as much as the next guy (probably more) but this load seems to come from a most unappetizing source. Marc then drinks a half-ounce of cum from a glass that he says came from a Spanish friend of his. He tells us he froze the sperm to preserve it for this occasion. He gulps it down.

Had the scene ended there it would have been better. Unfortunately it doesn’t, and we are beset with a dick that has erection problems and another that seem only slightly less enticing than the first one we saw. There was nothing new, and I got excruciatingly bored and turned off big time.

At least the scene changes and we see a cute kid riding a subway. He gets off the subway and we cut immediately to the kid naked on his knees sucking off two other naked men in a sex club. When one cums, the kid eats it. The wobbling camera is about to give me motion sickness but I think the kid’s cute so I stay with it. The sucking of guy two goes on so long and the kid has his mouth open so long waiting for the guy to drop his load that I fear the kid might get lockjaw and the wanker may scrape the skin off his dick. Finally, he shoots but misses the open mouth. The sucking kid is hard the entire time. He brings himself off.

Marc’s back on a dick. It belongs to the kid. The kid sucks Marc, too. I now realize that the kid is Marc’s disciple. The kid goes down on a large uncut cock, but Marc takes it away from him. Cut to Marc in a suit and tie. (He was in scruff mode before in this club scene.) He’s sucking the kid again. An anonymous cock dribbles out some cum for them. A bearded longhaired guy is sucking Marc and the kid. The kid sucks him. And so it goes. Or rather doesn’t go. It’s all much of a muchness.

The background noise that sounds like an angry machine in its death throws has been driving me bonkers for some time now. I’m bored except when the kid gets into the act, but he’s definitely second-string.

This film was the longest 75 minutes I ever spent. It’s not a film for everyone. But even then, the Damon Blows America series does it better and with much more panache.