Nowhere Angels Review
Cal Vista
Studio: Cal Vista
Category: Feature film
Directed by: D. Cypher
Starring: Eric Masterson, Barrett Blade, Leah Luv, Justine Joli, Veronica Jett, Johnny Cobalt, Cassie Courtland, Barry Scott, Charlotte Stokely, Riley Mason
Released on: 2/20/2007
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 Nowhere Angels |
| Prologue An interesting looking video just hit my desk, along with a press release/synopsis that describes it as lit porn, combining elements from writers like Brett Easton Ellis, Thomas Pynchon, William Golding, Hunter S. Thompson and Jack Kerouac. I'm going to admit that the only ones on that list I've ever read anything of are Kerouac and Thompson, so hipster and gonzo are covered here. The synopsis reads: "Nowhere Angels" is the story of several young adults coming of age in a burned out wasteland filled with drugs, religions, rebellion, and sex. Measuring their lives in lust, their angels appear from nowhere like messengers sent by the Gods of fornication. Amidst adversity, one thing thrives, one thing escapes... it's the release of physical pleasure. It's shot between Los Angeles and Mojave, but sounds like a normal day in Chatsworth. But the important thing is that the cast includes Cassie Courtland, Riley Mason, Charlotte Stokely and Justine Joli. Those are the girls listed in the press release. The back of the box has several names I've never heard of before and Leah Luv and Veronica Jett. There's hope for anal after all. DCypher is the director, and I'll be sampling his work for the first time. Is it wrong of me to pray for Justine Joli to get near some meat in this video? |
 Justine Joli is writing her story in a diary and recounting how she always knew she'd lose her virginity to Riley Mason, who's shown getting down with Barrett Blade. Justine is working herself with a pocket rocket as she fantasizes about the adorable brunette. Justine's body is taught with passions straining to be released as she squirms from the buzzing through her panties. Her lovely tits are peaked by hard nipples as she moans in self pleasure. Meanwhile, Barret is exploring Riley's tasty body, and she gets down to sample his goodies. Barret does some titty fucking and Riley sucks his cock with some purpose. She lays back for cunnilingus, her little bald beaver looking like a tasty morsel. Barrett two fingers her snatch, then a cut to Riley riding CG, her juice covering his cock. Another cut to spoon, Barrett picking up the pace and pounding her and giving her perfect tits some nice squeezes. Cut to doggy and Barrett steaming as he approaches climax. Riley scrambles to the floor, sticking out her tongue and Barrett jerking a small load that mostly hits her right eye and almost misses her mouth completely. |
Now Justine is talking about wishing she could go back and change things. Apparently, someone named Tommy has died.
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| Justine's journal continues and transitions into the next scene. Damien (Eric Masterson) musing about Jack Kerouac and life's unfairness and desparation. He dreams of travelling to NY and writing about his experiences. A flash to Tommy overdosing on heroin. Damien is mugged in and alley by Halloween mask wearing thugs. Veronica Jett tells her version of what's going on in this small town, with Rachel (Justine) pretending to guard her virginity till after marriage when, in fact, she's just a dyke lusting after her best friend, who in turn is fucking her boyfriend, as we've already seen.
Veronica and her friends blowing lines of coke as she voices over her need to get out of town. Veronica is dressed in white, hooker chic short dress and thigh highs. She strikes a deal with a guy in a beat up red car and jumps in. Her head is soon bobbing in his lap.
Veronica is bitching about her loser husband and his lazy ass and literary pretensions. His truck is lit on fire by the thugs who mugged him. Another fuck party with Leah toppless and feeding Damien jello shots off her nipples.Tommy gets a narrative, set amongst the band's instruments and apparently from the grave. He's wearing black wings. |
 At
the "end of the end of the world party", Cassie Courtland and Charlotte
Stokely are making out on a bed as two guys watch. They soon join
them and pair off. Charlotte blows a skinny creep with a mohawk and Cassie
gets the much better looking Johnny Cobalt. The two team up on mohawk's
dick as Cobalt sits by himself spanking. Charlotte on the rotisserie with
mohawk getting her pussy. Cassie sucking Cobalt's dick while Charlotte's
attention is turned to her pussy pounding. Charlotte in mish, Cassie still
trying to get Cobalt hard enough to fuck. Charlotte in CG and Cassie in
danger of getting lockjaw. Cassie finally getting some dick in mish while
a dogged Charlotte lends a hand and mouth. Cassie gets mohawk in mish while
Charlotte rides Cobalt in CG. Cassie sucks cock while Charlotte takes Johnny
in doggy. Cassie in doggy, then taking a meager load on her chest and tongue,
which she shares with Charlotte, who gets the same treatment from Johnny. |
 Justine catches Riley in bed with Tommy and chases him out. She and her friend are finally going to get it on. Two very pretty women with stunning bodies sharing some heat. Justine starts out the aggressor as she licks Riley's tits and finds her pussy. She licks and three fingers the hot hole, then offers up her raised ass for Riley to rummage through her goodies. They rub their pussies together to mutual orgasm, and kiss.
Back to Tommy, who's cooking up his fatal overdose. Justine punctuates his death with one last literary allusion and declares herself, and the others, "Nowhere Angels". |
| Epilogue I've gone to websites that had scene descriptions that made my dick drool. The reality, when I indulged, was far less than I was led to imagine. This DVD reminded me of that. The synopsis of this story was far better than anything committed to video. It wasn't till about a third of the way through this video that the narrative riffing took hold and I understood what lit porn was supposed to be. I've seen worse devices to introduce scenes, but it didn't lend anything cohesive to the story it was purporting to. In the end it's still a porno and as such the judging will be heavily weighted by the sex. In this case, the action doesn't cut it. The prose projected small town futility, but there was nothing desparate, nihilistic or edgy about the sex scenes. There was a nice mix of women, at least a couple of whom that could have added some much needed energy to the proceedings, but were never asked to. I feel like the whole thing went flat and stayed tame. |
| The Disk A photo gallery, BTS and trailers, along with the usual flotsam and jetsum of phone sex ads and website advertising. |
| Recommendation Pretty girls and soft sex. If that's your thing, go for it. I can't endorse it personally. |
| Feedback |
A garage band is rehearsing, and when they finish, their groupies join them. Justine goes for something to eat with her guitarist boyfriend Barry Scott, who it turns out is Tommy. The cashier at the burger joint, Damien, appeals to Justine, even though she's a lesbian. He turns her on to Anais Nin and Justine connects. Justine enters a world of fuck parties and the scene changes to Tommy slugging Jack Daniels with a punky looking Leah Luv in a Christmas setting. She fishes out his dick for some spit shined TLC. They get naked and Leah goes about her oral ministrations deliberately, making sure to use lots of saliva. Cut to Leah's legs spread and Tommy licking from slit to clit. He stabs her inviting fuckhole in mish. Slow strokes followed by rapid fire banging. Leah rides in RC with Tommy dictating the same tempos from underneath. Cut to doggy and an open mouth facial with PCH.
At a pool party, Veronica is dressed in a fishnet top and red pants. She's playing with Damien, her husband, and soon wrapping her dsl's around his cock. He returns the favor and gets the bald little fuckhole juiced for entry, which is done in doggy and with a condom. Nobody else at this party even seems to notice. Little spinner Veronica rides in RC, then CG. She kneels for him and takes the cum on her tongue. PCH to polish it off.Check Prices for Nowhere Angels
The opinions expressed in this review of Nowhere Angels from Cal Vista are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.