Nineteen College Girls Video Magazine 42 Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  2/16/2004

“Nineteen Video Magazine #42” is another terrible offering from Dane Productions. Take away Monica Mayhem from this video and you’re left with garbage. There are piss-poor attempts at acting and scene setups – and those are the highlights!

The first scene features Poonany (I’m guessing, since she’s not properly id’ed) and Dave Hardman. She’s an unattractive blonde with a name inscribed prominently in ink on her left tit. They screw for a few moments with no obvious cum shot (internal?). He then gets the crap beat out of him by a couple thugs and admits to her that he has a gambling problem.

That setup (or lack thereof) leads to gorgeous Monica Mayhem (Poonany’s sister) paying off Hardman’s gambling debt with bookie Jason McCain. They do some basic sex with a facial on Monica’s pretty face to end it.

The next scene has Christy and Mariiessa playing beach volleyball in front of coach Brandon Irons. He says something about them being national champions, but neither one would be allowed to blow up the balls at a real competition. The average-looking (at best) girls do an outdoor lez scene with a couple toys and no eroticism.

Following that is Mia Starr, an unattractive skinny blonde who fake-moans her way through a bad scene with her daddy’s boss, Hershel Savage. He dumps his load on her butt, just below her ugly bumper sticker.

Finally, Lena Ramone and Foxy Roxy (billed simply as Foxy – how original!), do Tony Martino in a limo. Another waste of videotape or whatever they use nowadays! After the standard three-position fuck, he unloads on both the brunettes’ unattractive mugs. They were marginal-looking before the scene, and even less so afterward.

I don’t know why I bother to review Dane DVDs. They are usually crappy; in this case, pure junk. Aside from Monica’s beautiful face and body, there is no reason to rent this piece of horse manure.

The DVD offers some very exciting extras: a slide show and internet info. Period. Enough said.

I guess one can make a living producing this type of junk. But as a porn fan, I found this basically unwatchable. How did they ever manufacture 49 other volumes (according to IAFD) in this series? Who is buying this crap?

Mama always told me that if I can’t say something nice about something, to just shut up. With that in mind, I’ll………..