My Virtual Christi Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  5/28/2004

The Little Details

Running Time: 62 min.

Production Date: 2 / 29 / 2004

Director: Jon Yuma

Cast: Christi Lake and “you” (who’s played by Steve Hatcher)

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: Although Christi Lake is often very impressive, this entire series has been anything but. I’d like to have high hopes here but just can’t.

Initial Reaction: It’s a pretty standard entry in this series. It has a great job by the star and a horrible job by most everybody else.

Who Should Watch It : Fans of Christi Lake

Who Should Avoid It: Fans of virtual sex simulators

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: As usual with this series, the technical aspects leave a bit to be desired. The audio is fairly clear and well balanced, but has a few minor problems. The background noises start not even a minute into the feature, and there’s also a slight hiss behind the audio. The video is okay, but not quite right for the feel of the feature. Jon Yuma has a very artistic look to his movies. The lighting is normally heavy and often the natural light he uses bleaches out some of the colors. That isn’t the case quite so much here, but there are quite a few times when the perspectives just don’t look quite right.

Music: None

False Advertising: The front cover claims that this DVD includes features such as Multi-Angle, Extremely Interactive, Sweet or Nasty, Personal Lap Dance, Strip Dance, Shot Exclusively for DVD, Point of View (P.O.V.), and Cum Shot at the Push of a Button. As usual, the cover claims vary from being borderline true to downright lies and misdirections. The only really true claims are that the feature was shot exclusively for DVD, mostly because I don’t think this feature is being released on VHS, and that Christi does a strip dance. From then on, it’s all downhill.

The Cumshot at the Push of a Button is true for the sex portion of the DVD, but not for the oral and foreplay section. This means that although you might be enjoying the heck out of watching Christi suck “your” cock, you’re not going to be able to give her a facial with just the touch of a button. Then there’s the Point of View. Yes, some of the footage is point of view, but not all of it. There’s several other angles, although none of them show that it’s Steve fucking Christi. This brings us into the downright lies and misdirections, and continues with the multiple angle claim. You have the choice of one camera angle throughout the entire DVD. I didn’t find one place where I could use DVD’s multiple angle ability. If using different camera angles and editing them together makes this a multiple angle DVD, then so’s roughly 99% of the other DVDs I’ve watched, as well as most everything released on VHS. The same thing goes for the claim of being extremely interactive. When I watch virtual sex DVDs from companies such as Digital Playground, Digital Sin, and VCA, I can adjust things like the girl’s mood, the background, and the intensity of the sex. Here I can’t even adjust the camera angle. There’s nothing extremely interactive about that. The same goes for the claim of being sweet or nasty. Okay, maybe this one’s true because the cover looks pretty sweet but the actual interactive interface is fairly nasty when you find out that most of what’s advertised isn’t there, such as the personal lap dance which I couldn’t find anywhere on the DVD. I’m penalizing the overall score of this DVD a full point due to the fraudulent and misleading cover claims.

Menus: The menus are pretty good. They show some nice care and even work in a bit of the movie. They actually set a pretty good first impression.

The Feature

Anarchy is back with another installment of their virtual line. This time the chosen babe is Christi Lake, who’s a bit older than the average porn star yet has a nicely devoted fan following. Christi has auburn hair, long legs, a bald beaver, and a nice natural rack.

My Virtual Christi gives you most of the options you’re used to from an interactive sex simulator. For foreplay, you can watch Christi strip down, play with herself, and fuck herself with a dildo. She’ll even let ‘you’ use the dildo on her or suck your cock a couple different ways. When it comes to fucking her, you can choose between cowgirl, missionary, doggie, and reverse cowgirl. You even have the choice between popping on her face or on her tits.

Through it all, Christi does a fantastic job. She puts plenty of energy into each sequence, along with a lot of trash talking. She focuses on the camera a little, but mostly keeps her focus on her partner. This helps to give the action a consistent feel while emphasizing certain parts. It also helps the action to have a bit of chemistry, which was a very good thing. Christi excels at her cocksucking here, and even works in a little tittyfucking. The masturbation sequences are also nicely done, but the dildo scene is a bit annoying since it starts out sounding like a commercial for the dildo Christi’s using. The laying down blowjob also seemed trivial as a selection, as it only seemed to be there so Christi could put the rubber on. I think it’s great that the rubber is part of the scene, but I’m not sure the segment lasted a full minute, which really stood out against most of the others which ran eight to nine minutes. My final complaint about Christi and the sex was that there were a few times when she seemed to overdo things a bit, but thankfully they were few and fairly far between.

One of the things Anarchy has normally done right in this line is their pop shots. Many companies fake their pop shots, while Anarchy normally used real pop shots. They don’t vary from that here. Steve delivers both pop shots rather than faking them, and sadly he might have been better faking them. The first pop shot is for Christi’s face, and I’m not sure if Steve managed to get out a full six drops. Christi makes the best of it, but it’s pretty pathetic. The second pop is for Christi’s tits, and there Steve actually gets a bit of a stream out. It’s not overly impressive, but it’s much better than the first pop.

Once again, the virtual mechanism is the biggest problem with the feature. The best thing about it is that the choices are fairly inconspicuous. The rest on the top and bottom of the screen very well with a gray text that easily fades into the background yet comes out nicely with a lime green color when selected. Most everything else leaves plenty to be desired, and I suspect the virtual mechanism might have been brought over on the Mayflower. Basically, the selections are just a fancy chapter menu. Each selection has its own chapter, and if you make that selection you go directly to that chapter. If you don’t make a selection, when the chapter you’re watching ends you go to the next chapter rather than starting at the beginning of the chapter you were watching. This is easily my biggest complaint with the mechanism. In virtual features the girl is to do what the viewer wants. If I want to watch Christi suck cock for an hour (and with the job she does here it’s more than tempting to just leave her suck cock), she should be doing that without me touching a single button. With the virtual aspect the viewer should be in control and if he or she doesn’t tell the person on screen to do something different, they shouldn’t.

My Virtual Christi shows a lot of potential and a only little know-how. It’s basically just one long Christi Lake scene with a couple chapter menus on screen throughout the scene. Rather than having a few small transitions to take you from position to position, things fade in and out. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if Anarchy put it out claiming to be a more basic and more affordable virtual sex line, but instead the cover makes it sound like it will hold its own against what Digital Sin / New Sensations, Digital Playground, VCA, and Smash are doing while it sucks a little further behind hind tit to all of them. The only thing which really makes it worthwhile is Christi herself. She does a fantastic job here, putting out a very energetic performance, plenty of chemistry, and plenty of trash talking throughout the feature. Even though the virtual aspect of My Virtual Christi is about as highly developed as a game of rock, paper, scissors, Christi makes it feel like you didn’t completely waste your time and money.

The Extra Stuff

Trailers are included for Creamed 1, Creamed 2, Porn Star 1, and Twisted. The photo gallery includes over twenty very nice looking snapshots. There’s also internet information, smut by mail information, and bloopers.

The blooper reel lasts almost six minutes. Rather than being the little things that normally go wrong during a shoot, this one mostly focuses on Jon Yuma working with Christi to get things the way he wants. It’s not the normal chuckles you expect from a blooper reel, and although Christi comes off looking like a nice person and a professional, this featurette wasn’t too impressive or enjoyable.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, tease, masturbation, toys, oral, and spanking

Raincoat Factor: Very high

Condom Usage: 100%

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many episodes in Anarchy’s My Virtual series can be found online for between about $10 and $20 with many stores offering them for around $15. If you’re a fan of Christi this one might be worth the low end. She does a great job, but the virtual sex interface leaves pretty much everything to be desired. The technical aspects are pretty average due to the artistic effects, and there’s a little effort put into the extras.

Note to Anarchy Films: It’s nice to see you trying different looks for this series as it goes on. Please try a bit more honesty with your cover claims too.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight