My Plaything: Jenna Jameson Review

Reviewed by Diville  on  4/26/2001

If you're going to produce a two disc virtual sex dvd featuring only one girl, you might as well hire the best. Right now, Jenna Jameson is the best. Sure, some may argue the case for another starlet as being at the top of the pornographic food chain, but there's no denying Jenna Jameson draws more attention, has a wider following, and appeals to more casual porn fans than anyone else in the sex business. She's a true adult superstar. If Michael Jordan was a hot white girl who had sex on film, he'd be Jenna Jameson.

Her version of My Plaything does not waste it's high caliber cover girl. It's easy to write the project off, sight unseen, because a girl with a stap-on is standing in for the man who would normally be standing in for us. If your intention is to imagine that it's you taking advantage of Jenna's unequaled body, then here's to hoping you have a good imagination. Admittedly, it's hard to get past the plastic strap-on when it's dick you want. For those who could care less about the meat, and focus their attentions, instead, on the girl, you're going to have a real good time. This is well made, clearly shot, intensely sexy stuff.

Few titles have been as eagerly anticipated as this one. Digital Sin's My Plaything series has always been among the most popular titles out there, and when Jenna's version was announced the collective heart rate of the American male population sped up a few beats per minute. This is clearly an "event release" if ever there was one, and as such there are bound to be many questions about it. So, then, allow me to dispense with the normal review and instead offer the answers to what I believe to be the most frequently asked questions, and also to those that may be less frequently asked. Now, onto the FAQ:

What's this virtual sex stuff all about? Is Jenna any good at it?

Virtual sex, of course, is not a substitute for the real thing, but it's pretty good at stoking the imagination. Instead of following a linear plot, as you would in most porn movies, you're able to jump around from position to position and sexual act to sexual act. Simply put, you choose what you like best from a simple to use onscreen menu, and then you get to see it. Because it's all shot in the first person perspective, you can imagine it's you Jenna's having sex with. What's more, you can alter her attitude to your liking; she can be either naughty or nice and with a punch of a button you can command her to cum at any time. And because this is true multi-angles, you can switch your perspective in real time and see her from different points of few.

And yes, Jenna is very good at it. You've heard of actresses who "make love to the camera"; well, Jenna goes a step further. She fucks the camera. Yes, it's all acting, but she really does have a good time, and that comes through in the final product.

So, what kind of stuff can I make her do?

Well, there's a tease section where you can have her show off different parts of her body. Personally, I recommend her ass, but that's just me. Then there's the masturbation segment where you pick the manner in which she gets herself off. That's followed by the foreplay section, where Brianna Banks' manicured hands enter from the bottom of the screen to pleasure Jenna manually and with toys. Also, you can "eat her out" in a scenario where the camera is placed down low on her pussy while you look up at her writhing as if on your out-stretched tongue. Keep in mind, however, that you should kill the static electricity on your television screen before licking it. And of course, there's the sex in which Jenna takes it missionary, doggie, cowgirl, and reverse cowgirl.

If she's only doing a chick with a plastic dick, that means there are no cumshots, right?

You are correct. There's no spunk to be found on this DVD. Truth be told, though, it's not a big loss. Almost all the pop shots in other virtual sex titles are faked by computers and look worse than no cumshot at all.

OK, no money shot. Is it at least fair to hope she takes something up her ass? I've always wanted to see her do anal.

Yep, Jenna's pristine turd cutter is no longer a virgin. During the masturbation segment, she plows her own ass with a dildo, and what's more, she takes it straight from her ass and puts it in her mouth. I don't think she's done that on camera before.

Did you just refer to a beautiful woman's ass as a turd cutter?

Yes, I did.

What about extras? I hear that there are two discs in this package. Is the second disc really extras, or is it just a bunch of spam?

This thing is packed with extras...I mean packed! I've never seen so many bonus features, and they all center on Jenna. There are added segments in which you get to set the speed on Jenna's sybian (a sybian is kind of like a vibrating saddle which almost never fails to deliver real orgasms), or in which you can give her a message, focusing on that part of the body you like most. Again, I can't recommend her ass enough. There's an interview, behind the scenes footage, a girl/girl bonus scene with Brianna Banks, bloopers, three different and expertly produced strip tease segments, separate and exclusively shot photo galleries featuring Jenna, Brianna, and behind the scenes pictures, and a bunch of trailers for other movies. If the extra disc wasn't included for free, I'd buy it.

In her eyes will I see the doorways to a thousand churches? The resolution to all my fruitless searches?

You know, you just might. It's a lot to ask of a porn star to open your eyes to that which you were previously blind. Epiphanies don't exactly grow on trees. Yet, if you are one of those who never understood why Jenna is as popular as she, this DVD might satisfy your curiosity. I've never seen her look this good.

She's never looked better? Don't you think that's an overstatement? She looked so good when she first entered the business that I don't think she could get any better than that.

Looks are subjective. I really liked Jenna from a couple of years ago when she had those nice round curves, but all that dancing she's done since then has really toned her body. It's fruitless to debate when she looked her best, but I honestly believe she's never been presented this well. The hair, make-up, and technical production are as good as I've seen in a Jenna Jameson feature, and that's saying a lot. She only appears in big budget movies.

Weren't you at least a little distracted by the strap-on?

Yeah, I was, but not much. Strap-ons always look a little silly to me. They never seem to work like they're supposed to. They really don't thrust like a man can, and because no dick is involved, we don't get to see Jenna give head. As much as I liked everything else, I still lament the lack of cock sucking. One of the things I've always liked about Jenna, though, is her face, and it's a real turn on to focus on that instead of her crotch, but that's just me.

What about all that squealing? She's hot, but her incessant high pitched squealing gets on my nerves after a few minutes.

I've always liked the noises Jenna makes, but on the day this was shot, her voice sounds a little hoarse, as if she'd been out partying all night in a smoky bar. I liked the effect. It makes her sound sexy in a Lauren Bacall kind of way.

Did Drew Pearson cheat in 1977 to give the Dallas Cowboys a victory over the Minnesota Vikings in the NFC championship game?

Yes, he did.

Uh, will this get me off? I mean, er, will it get my friend off? I have a friend who like to, uh, masturbate to this kind of stuff. I get plenty of the real thing. But, my, um, friend was curious if this will do the trick. Will it?

To quote my magic eight ball, "All signs point to yes."

Is My Plaything: Jenna Jameson worth the wait? Does it deserve the hype?

Absolutely, it's everything it promised it would be. Fans must have this, as no other title gives you this much Jenna. I can't think of any two movies together that give you this much Jenna, in fact. She looks fantastic, and I can recommend it without reservation.