My Cock Your Mouth Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  4/6/2003

I really sneer at compilations even though some of them offer some pretty good scenes. I never buy them, but often a kindly seller sends me one as a freebie along with a purchase. On a lazy Saturday I will slip one of these comp-vids into the DVD player and give it a look. In MY COCK YOUR MOUTH we have only 6 scenes, which is about 15 less than normal. They are as follows:

1. A chunky (i.e. going to fat) bear surprises a slender young thief and is soon letting the thief have access to the family jewels. Chunky also shows interest in the thief’s equipment. He does indeed have a nice “jimmy” even if it never gets stiff. Then, as in all crime capers, the thief gets it in the end.

2. Another Beauty & the Beast scene follows. Here we have another pasta-loving bear and a slender young bear. Young bear is very sexy. Pasta Bear goes after Pretty Bear’s noodle, which remains limp. Pretty Bear has better luck on Pasta Bear’s ziti. He is a good fellationist (No, he doesn’t collect stamps) and he could noodle around with me any day. Pretty gets plugged by Pasta.

3. A young guy, wearing a bandana that makes him look like Aunt Jemimah in drag, drops in on a friend for some uplifting conversation. His dark-haired friend is cute an obliging. “Suck my balls, baby” is typical of the conversation. This is one of those scenes with the magic condom. You know, the kind that suddenly appears on a dick stuffed in a butt. This one that appears on cutie’s cock is one of those dreadful white opaque ones.

4. Here a slim man looking for his friend Pete settles for another guy’s peter fore and aft. Both are attractive. They reciprocate in the sucking department and things are beginning to look up with this DVD. Unfortunately the slim guy never gets hard so the rule of gay porn is applied: “Get hard or get fucked”. At his point too, the scene just peters out.

5. Finally there is a performer I know: Tony Davis. Tony was a young, uncut, ubiquitous performer in B-grade porn of the 80s. He didn’t quite have the looks to make it to the better films, but I’m sure if he did escort work his clients had a good time. He is paired here with a hideous troll with a walrus mustache who feasts on Tony’s tush. Tony then deep-throats the troll’s thick tool and sucks on his toes. Now, I am a shrimp lover from way back and am a sucker (unintentional pun) for films with titles like Foot Puppy and Your Foot in My Mouth. (Don’t look for these titles, they don’t exist….yet.) But when the feet have toes with chipped, dirty nails and are attached to a troll…YUCK! This could have been redeemed somewhat if Tony had taken the troll’s thick tool up his far-from-virgin ass, but they just jack off. (You won’t!)

6. An average looker is taking a bath when a friend barges into the bathroom and starts sucking his cock. They move to a bedroom where the bather wastes no time in banging the barger. They pause for the bather to diddle the barger with two fingers before reinserting his prick.

So, not much to recommend here with only scenes 2-4 being watchable, and they being rather mediocre.