Monsters Of Jizz 8: Cougars In Heat Review

The film is for the most part a hand job compilation released in 2012. It was shot in 720 x 480 in 4:3 aspect ratio. The quality on my 3840 x 2160 screen was very acceptable if the viewing frame was around one quarter screen.
The 'jizz' shots are gigantic, well beyond what is physiologically possible. The fakery is obvious as the 'eye' of the dick is never shown during the 'pop' and there is never any residual 'cum' or 'post-cum' on the head afterwards. Only the most gullible could be fooled into thinking the 'jizz' here was produced in anyone's testicles. If you can get past this and accept that the whole thing is a spoof, there are things in it to enjoy. Scenes 1, 5 and 2 are the best in that order and for different reasons. /p>

Scene 1. Vanessa Vixon is first on camera at a 'bra' party for plump matrons with large, saggy breasts. It's in a sitcom style. She's selling the kit at the invitation of a lady at far right in turquoise blue in whose house the party is being held. Vanessa is wearing a dark red fishnet bra and a tiny, tightish microskirt. Short of my binoculars, I wasn't able to see if she had anything on underneath. I hope not. She's a very attractive slim blonde with lovely natural breasts, probably 34C, possibly 36B, and sports a surprisingly low-pitched, twangy but attractive voice. I can't place her accent. As became clear in the scene, she has a wicked sense of fun and at times she cackles her head off. I like Vanessa's style.

The three ladies are sitting on two sofas and are experimenting with different bras. Vanessa is checking them out - squeezing here and there to check for dead space I guess and lifting the cups up from underneath to ensure their contents are set at the right level. There's more to this bra-fitting lark than I imagined. Meanwhile, on the staircase, there's a Peeping Tom. He's squinting through the spindles at the ladies as they undress and try on new items. He goes un-noticed for ages but, inevitably, one of the women spots him and they all cover up.

'What the hell are you doing here, I told you to stay in your room'. His mother (the turquoise blue lady, now sporting a vivid pink bra) is affronted. She jumps up. Repeating this, she catches her son by the ear and marches him over in front of the other women. He's made to apologize individually to Vanessa, and to each of the other ladies. Vanessa can't keep her face straight and turns away. They begin to tease him, gently to begin with, then mercilessly in fun, making him strip off. The lad then makes to leave but they grab him. They begin to humiliate him in various ways but it's all good-natured and very jokey. Vanessa climbs on his back and whacks his rump like she was on a pony. She falls about, cackling. They get him on all fours again and Vanessa starts to stroke his dick. She has to use her left hand as she's wearing some sort of support on her right wrist. Has she been overdoing the handjobs? His mother looks away. One of the ladies suggests she might like to go out but she doesn't. The dick reacts and soon he's standing in front of them all, his dick jutting out proudly. They play hoopla with their knickers and bras before one of them, not Vanessa, takes his dick more seriously in hand. His 'punishment' is to be stroked off in front of them all. When the popshot comes it is huge - five or six pulses; the first two shoot out maybe three yards across the carpet. Some of it lands on the ladies themselves. Vanessa laughs uproariously as the scene closes. She's a very tasty little bitch and it's a pity she doesn't get a chance to take dick. A waste of top class pussy.

Scene 2. Alexis Grace confronts her top sales manager. His sales are down again and he has handed over accounts to another guy. She blames the man's wife for getting in the way of her husband's career and bitches on about her at length. The guy tries to calm her down and shows her his wife's wedding photo. The boss says she's put on a lot of weight since then. She then opens her thighs and rubs the wife's picture all over her panty gussett. She tells the guy he's being pussy-whipped and he needs to man up. She tells him that when he goes home tonight he's got to bend his wife over table and fuck her brains out; then cum all over her face. 'I can't do that' the poor guy says. The boss gets him to strip down and begins to stroke him off. You're going to cum all over your wife's photo, she tells him. 'I can't do that', he says. But, in the end of course, he does. The boss rewards him with a little kiss on his forehead and packs him off like a naughty boy - 'Now off you go' - to confirm her dominance. He ends up being pussy-whipped by his wife at home and by his boss at work. It's a convincing performance by the lovely, sadly missed, Alexis. How refreshing it is to hear a woman bitching about another woman, instead of bitching about a man!

Scene 3. A bored wifeis lounging on her sofa when the doorbell rings. A large guy is standing there clutching a big book. She greets him with 'Have you come to fuck me?'. Turns out he hasn't but instead is bringing her 'good news'. She drags him inside and is soon telling him he is about to get good news himself. Soon she has her lovely breasts out for him to peruse. Sadly he doesn't get to touch her beauties before she's kneeling between his legs and starting work on his dick. Preacher man or not, he offers only token resistance to the sins of the flesh. She bj's him and eventually strokes him off over her face, chest and tummy. The best parts of the scene are the lady's magnificent breasts and the dialogue.

Scene 4. A mother,Margo Sullivan, is scolding her son for using her home as a hotel. He gets his food, she does his laundry, she pays his school bills but he never has money for her. Yet, he has money for tattoos. His big sister butts in, literally, and takes his part. They sit opposite each other on stools on the far side of a breakfast bar so Mom can't see them below waist height. Sister spreads her thighs just as Mom asks if they'd like chicken or fish today. Brother chokes on his drink. Big sister wastes no time getting on her knees to bj him - she tells Mom she's going to the restroom before bobbing down out of view. Still on her knees, she strokes her brother off on to her chest and clothes. When she stands up (i.e. returns from the bathroom) Mom sees the splashes. Sister explains that she had a problem in the bathroom. It's a ridiculous scene which, apart from Mom and her chicken or fish question, isn't worth watching. Neither of the two women reveals a pussy or even a breast. I'd have liked a closer look at Mom - a sexy bitch in her 50s with some business potential. She has no need to be short of dollars.

Scene 5. This scene features another lady boss complaining to a young working guy about work not done. She's a tasty thing in a tight skirt - he's heavily tattooed, a bit rough, and younger than her. She threatens to fire him. He says he'll do whatever it takes to get the work finished quickly. She strips out of her top and tells him there is something he can do. Soon she's on her knees sucking his dick as he sits there trying to look bashful. She wriggles out of her skirt and, setting an example to all female bosses of her age, she's not wearing any lingerie which might hinder quick and easy access to her business section. Soon, the dick is deep in her vagina in cg. She does all the work, and hell, she doesn't half know how to use her pelvis to grind a cock. She does the same in revcg, swallowing the dick with her pussy till that hungry cunt has devoured the entire unit. This is all captured very effectively on camera. She's a nice shape, flat tummy with what looks like a neat Caesarean section scar (I always enjoy seeing proof of fertility), broad rump, generous thighs, natural breasts. 'Fuck me', she instructs him. He obeys, like any good employee would.

A short doggy action follows - this dame really does like deep dicking - then a kneeling scissors. This is very well done, he slows down and lingers, up to the hilt in her cunt. He's enjoying being in there no doubt, feeling his dick encircled by her wet slickness. It's quite erotic and a pleasant change from the ferocious jack-hammering so prevalent in many films. 'You're my number one contractor', she says, and a little later pleads, 'yea, all the way in'. Her cervix must have retracted up out of the way or there would've been a few 'ouches', at the very least. She jumps down and, kneeling, instructs him to cum all over her face. An absurd torrent of what looks like pancake batter is squirted at her. She deserves a proper mouthful - I mean a full helping of real, live sperms - but she smiles at the camera anyway. Whoever this actress is, I love her pelvic grinding technique. And her smile. She's very cute.

From here on the film is a banal collection of handjobs, each one as dull and unrealistic as the one before. I almost gave up.

Scene 6. Two middle-aged whores, friends of each other, are on a bed. One of them, the brunette (Margo Sullivan), confesses to having performed a blow-job on someone with the unlikely name of Dick who belongs to the other woman (a blonde). We aren't told who Dick is, or if he's just a friendly dick. When she hears about this episode the blonde is shocked, but not outraged. Quite the opposite. The offended lady reassures the brunette that she will always be her friend. The blonde then tells her friend to ask a guy called David, I think, to come into the bedroom. He's in another bedroom getting ready for bed. David stumbles in looking dazed. The blonde aims 'to get even' with her brunette pal by sucking this guy's cock. (It takes a while for the penny to drop in the brunette's brain). When it does she just shrugs and waves at her pal to carry on. The sleepy guy behaves as if a blow-job from a random female is a normal part of his bedtime routine. He never asks a question, just lets the blonde whore pull his dick out and put it in her mouth. Unbelievable. 'Show a little enthusiasm', the brunette tells him, then a minute later it's 'now, don't you enjoy this too much'. After some shaft stroking, the by-now-inevitable, monster eruption follows. I began to wonder if this guy was supposed to be the brunette's son or her husband. Not that it matters. It's a terrible scene.

Scene 7 promises to be just as bad as scene 6. Briefly, Mom sucks her quarterback son's dick. She explains that unless she does his little cheerleader bitches will spoil him, 'not in the right way'. She strokes him off. A ridiculous attempt to fake a monster ejaculation follows. No wonder Mom laughs. It would make a cat laugh. Mom's breasts are magnificent natural beauties which are well worth squeezing. I'd have liked to see the quarterback take the initiative and fuck his Mom's cunt off. She'd have let him for sure. She wouldn't want her boy to go sticking his dick into those cheap little cheerleader bitches.

Scene 8 features a wife bragging about sucking off and fucking her husband's boss, and lots of other guys. This comes as a complete surprise to the husband, but the husband's acting skills aren't up to doing surprise, much less, outrage. His wife explains that she wants to be a whore from now on, and she wants him to treat her like a whore. He slaps her bolt-ons before she takes his dick in her mouth. After some cocksucking the scene ends with another huge load of watery fake cum dripping off the whore's face, nose and ears.

Scene 9 is a close re-run of scene 7. Mom has squeezed herself into a very tasty tight yellow minidress. She's a fine looking woman in that 40-ish way with her make-up, eyelashes, fingernails and accessories all working overtime. She's both classy and sluttish - highly oestrogenised, hungry and in a hurry - eminently fuckable. She has a pretty face and a lovely smile. I was willing her to take dick but the scene fizzles out with the by now standard monster squirt sequence.

Scene 10 exceeds all the others in the daftness of the plot. He's a dishwasher repair man. She hits him over the head with a saucepan. He wakes up spreadeagled on a bed, arms and legs tied. She sucks his dick, then strokes him. Like in the other scenes, the scene closes after fake cum is sprayed all over the bitch's face.