Monster Facials.com 1: The Movie Review

Reviewed by BrunoB333  on  11/20/2003

For a detailed rundown of my porn tastes and preferences, please refer to this, which I established extensively in my first review.

Synopsis
Due to the nature of this movie (basically a facial cumshot compilation), this review will be somewhat different than my usual fare. I will not break it down by scene or girl (there are too many, actually 64 scenes), but will offer highlights and some of my favorite moments after this intro. I find few things (in porn) more arousing than a cute girl getting her face splashed with a massive load of jizz. With this knowledge, you might right off the bat determine that this is why I gave this dvd the highest possible overall rating, and could stop reading. However, there's more to it than that, and this is why I urge you to read this whole thing through. One of the other reasons I gave this a five-star rating is that after viewing this (and even before reaching the halfpoint!) I actually pondered whether I would ever buy another porn dvd again. I just didn't see the need, as this was the dvd that finally met my expectations, and even blew them away. Of course, then I regained my senses and realized there's still lots more porn I'd like to see :) Nevertheless, the feeling that I'd found perhaps the apex in at least one category of porn that I love to watch remained, and this review will explain why.

Highlights
For a long time I've searched for something like this, in dvd form, that would best approximate a thing that most of us have seen many times while surfing the web: the cumshot compilation. You know the kind: a fast-paced collage of cumshot after cumshot, no prep time, no dead moments, just one girl after the other getting her mug showered with baby batter. The problem with those is that oftentimes they're too short, and the quality is crappy from having been ripped from who knows how many sources. However, they provide instant delivery and quick satisfaction for those of us who love to see many girls getting facials in a short amount of time. Sadly, I'd never found something of quite that level in the dvds I'd found. Sure there are cumshot compilations, but none with the consistency that these "best of" ripped compilations provide.

Here comes Rodney Moore to the rescue with his Monsterfacials.com dvd, and it delivers. There are many things that this disc has going for itself, and here are most of them: in about 80% of the scenes, there's no dead moments and it cuts straight to the chase, which is Rodney pumping his dick until it spews its mighty load unto an awaiting chick's face. Some scenes have quick intros and lame little skits that go along with them, but these are usually short and easy to fast-forward through. Most scenes however, like I've already said, just state the girl's name and then the action begins. Cumshot, facial, let's admire the girl's messy face for a few seconds and... next! Just how I like it. It could have been cut together even faster, but like this you can appreciate each one a bit better. Speaking of the cumshots, that's obviously also one of the very strong points of this release. Of course this whole thing would be pointless if our main man couldn't provide the goods, but thankfully that's not the case. Rodney's cumshots are amazing in that they are very big, I mean when he spreads it around you could almost swear the girl was just bukkake'd by at least five guys! In fact, all the wonderful facials in the movie are provided by Rodney alone, with a guest goo guy to accompany him in only two of the sixty-four scenes. Another good thing about Mr. Moore's cumshots is that his jizz is very white, never watery. So even against very pale skin, it stands out. Against dark skin, it's amazing! It's also very thick and consistent, not runny at all, to the point of being nearly gelatinous in nature. Those big globs of cum don't disperse easily! Lastly, Rodney doesn't shoot very hard, the jizz doesn't fly from his dick a la Peter North except on rare occasions, which has good and bad sides. On the plus side, it allows him to easily deposit the cum on a girl's face as it drips from his cock, it makes it really easy for him to aim the target successfully, so to speak. I mean, how many strong cumshots have you seen where the sperm jets over a girl's face, not even hitting her? Rodney on the other hand doesn't miss. On the negative side, well it's obvious: a strong shooter is visually more impressive. But to me, the end result counts the most here, and that's why Rodney scores big: he always leaves the girls' faces very very messy.

As for the disc itself, it presents itself as so: after the obligatory copyright and warning screens, we get a simple title screen, where you can either play the movie (simply plays all scenes in order, naturally), or go to chapter selection, where you can navigate through four pages dividing up the 64 scenes. Each scene has a small screenshot with the girl's name under it, so it's really easy to go back and watch your favorites again after seeing the whole thing. Before we move on to my favorite moments, another good point I'd like to raise about this disc: the images on the cover and backcover of the dvd are actually from the movie! Yes, finally! They are all exact screenshots from scenes in the film, as they happened. No false representation here. You'd think that's not such a big deal, but when was the last time you actually saw that... well, it was a first for me. For once you can tell the book by its cover, and what a cover it is.

Here are some of the best moments, going by the scene id (usually the girl involved's name):

Lovette: Quite probably the most famous or better-known girl of this compilation, this blond with huge fake tits isn't the most attractive of the bunch, but she takes a really good coating and looks totally into it.

Sunni: A thin blonde, very sexy, actually jerks Rodney to the cumshot (one of only two or three instances in this movie if I recall correctly) and he lets go with a few strong jets of goo, shooting harder than usually. Sunni is a little taken aback by the force of the cumshot and seems surprised, making for a nice moment.

Mercedes: One of the more outrageous sequences, as Mercedes get her face covered in cum in a van parked near a busy street. She steps out afterwards and walks around in broad daylight with all that semen dripping from her chin, while many drivers are passing by (and even a guy on the sidewalk) as Rodney takes pictures of her.

Nikki:This black beauty has a large boobjob but her breasts are still nice. She gets absolutely drenched by Rodney's blast, and the white jizz look great on her chocolate skin, like white frosting on cake.

Melissa Hill: This cute girl actually sucks Rodney's tool, and gets fucked by him briefly too (in doggy and froggy style, and she looks hot in both - actually I wouldn't have minded seeing the complete scene this one came from!) She takes the facial laying on her back and the cum filling her mouth makes her choke lightly before she spits back out a huge wad that oozes over her face. Very hot.

Nina: Another mocha-colored honey, this one gets absolutely soaked by Rodney's massive eruption, and we get to see it from three glorious angles too. She moans and practically squirms as the cream covers her face. Fantastic.

Ann Howe: Some may recognize this cute (but almost disturbingly young-looking) chick from the sessions she did with Heather and her boyfriend from www.ideepthroat.com. She doesn't disappoint here as she takes a strong facial from Rodney, who holds her head down during the proceedings.

Dulce: This one's a little different and special, because Dulce is a sexy mommy-to-be: that's right, she's pregnant and by the looks of it, almost ready to drop. She's still a pretty hot girl, and the fact that she was pregnant made it weirdly arousing for me in an unusual way. After she's introduced and paraded around in a couple outfits, we cut to Rodney pulling out (I'd really like to know from which dvd this is taken from - a whole scene of him fucking this preggo babe must be nice) and her face gets plastered accordingly.

Pearl: This segment looks a bit older (you can tell by the video quality and Pearl's hairstyle!) but it's one of my favorites: kinda like Melissa Hill's scene, Pearl gets a very nice load dropped down her throat, but it's even bigger this time as she gags and spits back up more cum that I'd imagined! She even lets out a "Jesus Christ!" immediately afterwards which really made me smile, then a near-silent, whispered "Sorry, almost wasted it all." It's candid moments like that that deviate from the 'script' that make my day. This scene was really hot because of it.

8 women snowballing: The dvd ends with this scene, supposedly a world record in group snowballing (though I somehow doubt I'd find it in the Guiness book if I tried to look it up.) While I appreciate the effort, this scene falls a bit short. First off, I'd like to state that I love watching snowballing, in fact one of my ultimate favorite porn moments ever was seeing two japanese girls trade back and forth and back and forth this big wad of cum that just got bigger and bigger with all the drool as it went along. They were going at it slow and sensual and this was shot close up for ease of appreciation and a great view. This time, it seems that either the first girl swallowed a bit of the goo, or Rodney was having an off day and shot an unusually small amount for him. Either way, it seems as if the girls are barely passing on a few drops from one mouth to another, and it's not shot close enough (even from the second angle), so the whole thing is a bit disappointing. I really wish we'd seen more good snowballing (like the japanese gals I've described did) in the rest of this movie.

Extras
There are none. Considering how good the main feature is, I could care less. There are some previews from Rodney's other dvds right after the last scene, but these aren't accessible on the main menu, though they could be considered extras anyway. Either way, I don't really mind, since I'm not a huge extras kinda guy.

Things that could have been better or added
Rodney's not a very attractive guy, but his dick is pretty big and it delivers, and that's usually the only part of him you see on screen, so that's fine.
I could have done without the hairy girl in one scene... a cumshot into a hairy armpit really doesn't do it for me! Oh well, those who like this can be glad that Rodney has a whole line of dvds devoted to women like this.
I would have really liked to have seen some scenes of Rodney giving facials to chubby gals, since I know he has a line devoted to these lovely girls called "Scale Bustin' Babes." The material's available, he should have used it. He put a hairy girl in there, and a preggo girl, why not some bbw? I especially would have loved to see the amazing Denise Davies (from some Score Group videos, and DVSX's Truly Nice Tits 4) that will be featured in his upcoming part 17 of the "Scale Bustin' Babes" series.
For those who like them, you'll be glad to know that there more than a couple swallowing scenes in this too. I for one prefer facials, as they're more visually appealing to me (and also enter more into the realm of fantasy because I've had lots more girls that swallow than ones that would take facials in real life), but these are okay nonetheless.
Finally, some of the "plots" and little intros were somewhat pointless, often more than a little silly, and usually absolutely fast-forward fodder, but they weren't everywhere and were no big deal.

Final word
If you like, and I mean really like facials, GET THIS DVD. I myself usually don't need more than four or five scenes from this before I'm done jerking off, so the replay value is amazing. I repeat: get this dvd - you won't regret it!

Any comments about my review or the movie itself, good or bad, let me know what you think. Thanks!