Monica's Sex Crimes Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  4/7/2004

Monica Mayhem, the gorgeous Aussie blonde, has finally joined the ranks of hundreds of other actresses who have added bolt-ons and shoulder tattoos to their bodies. What was once an adorable, sexy girl is now a hardened porn slut. Someone gave Monica some very bad advice on how to improve her looks. She now looks like every other trailer trash bimbo in the jizz biz. Unfortunate!

“Monica’s Sex Crimes” has nothing to do with breaking the law. In fact, the only crime committed here is by director Rick Davis and the Cherry Boxxx production team. The sex, for the most part, is uninspired and boring.

Monica romps with Cheyne Collins in the opening segment. They go at it on what looks like a cold marble floor. Despite this sterile setting, Monica gets pounded hard by Cheyne and gives a spirited performance. The cumshot is courtesy of a Monica handjob, and she licks some of the goo from her fingers afterward. If she doesn’t have an aversion to the taste, why not have her take a facial?

Monica answers the doorbell at the same house and welcomes John West. She directs John to Eve, a petite brunette, in the kitchen. Eve drops to her knees and starts sucking John’s cock. He returns the oral favor to her shaved slit then fucks her in mish, standing doggie, CG, RC, and mish again. There’s pretty good chemistry between the twosome here, which ends in a decent facial to her open mouth.

Dick Delaware is the next visitor at the house. Monica hooks him up with blond Vicky Vette. Dick is living proof that Darwin was right. All that’s missing is his knuckles dragging on the ground. He personifies the caveman look. To top it off, he is a miserable actor and a worse fucker. His performance is punctuated with moans of “Oh fuck, oh yeah, oh fuck.” He has a tough time maintaining wood and, when he does, he keeps falling out of Vicky’s pussy, particularly during the RC. Because of his troubles, she’s forced to fake-moan through the whole encounter. They also do some CG, doggie, and mish before he lays what could be the weakest facial of all time on her open mouth.

Sergio comes calling next, and Monica does the honors herself. She gets him upstairs on a bed and does some major oral work on his cock. When she stops sucking, however, the sex becomes stale. They go through several position changes (including CG, mish, and doggie) during 18 minutes of basically ho-hum, boring action. Maybe she is uninspired because he doesn’t take off his tennis shoes through the whole deal. She jerks him off to another weak open-mouthed facial.

Another Gold’s Gym refugee, Anthony Hardwood, takes on blonde Faith Grant in another less-than-inspired outing. Again, the scene runs too long (around 20 minutes) and the heat just isn’t there for much of it. She starts out blowing him on a bed, then they switch to mish, which gives him a chance to suck her toes and feet. There’s some standing mish (he’s standing, she’s holding on for dear life), CG, spoon, RC, doggie, and a poorly-edited miniscule facial.

Thinking possibly that two girls could generate more fire, Davis has Monica back for a last spin, this time with buxom brunette Venus. Both girls look like they’d rather be anywhere but on that couch together. Venus has some unsightly stretch marks on her tummy. Typical lez-out without any toys – a snoozer of a scene!

The DVD Extras include a Slide Show, Trailers, Website, Company info, and the ever-popular Enlarge Your Penis feature. There are zero credits for the male performers, either before or after the feature. Sloppy! No condoms were used.