Macho Men (South American Pictures) Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  3/21/2003

MACHO MEN is another of those films that make us want to vacation in South America. It not only has Macho men but it also has some cute young guys to service them, giving us a little something for every taste. The DVD is interactive in that a menu appears in the down left corner enabling us to jump to the action that suits us most. There are five choices:
1. Oral
2. Sex
3. Cum Shot
4. Hide menu
5. Menu

I assume that the distinction between “oral” and “sex” follows the Clinton assertion that blowjobs are not sex. One can of course, just ignore the menu and watch the film as you would any other, following the action from its beginning to the end and then the cum shots.

A solo scene with a muscular guy in a Santa hat and g-string starts us off. He removes the cock-confinement to reveal a really big one. Unfortunately when they’re this big they never get hard—just swell a bit. He tries vainly but…. There’s no cum shot. (So much for "Here comes Santa Claus".)

We then see him minus the Santa hat (Thank you!) in bed with a very cute youngster who sucks on the big flesh tube, but doesn’t get it hard either. Now, when this cutie can’t get you hard there’s a problem! Somehow—we don’t see how—he manages to get it in the sweet thing's ass. The young guy cums; Santa now hard—and it is amazing in its stiff glory—shoots too.

For the next solo we have a guy dressed as a carpenter. He is quite handsome and has a natural (not gym built) bod. He even has nice feet. He is really hot! He measures his dick with his carpenter’s rule. Of course centimeters make it more impressive. He has marred this great body with a couple of clumsy tattoos. Now, I find tattoos to be sexy on some guys, but here I don’t. It’s like seeing graffiti on the Taj Mahal. Unlike soft Santa, this guy gets very hard. It’s one of those cocks that curve upward and it shoots a great load.

We then find this beauty in action in a poolroom. He and a slender guy are having a perfunctory bit with the pool cues before Handsome gets his cock sucked and fucks his opponent. They are joined buy a third guy who has been watching, giving the fuckee a dick to suck while handsome is boffing him. They change ends as another guy appears. (You just can’t have privacy in a poolroom.) We cut to the bottoming guy now on his knees sucking off the three of them.

Next we have a pretty young thing swimming in a pool that is choked with leaves. If he’s the pool boy he’s not doing his job—or maybe he is, since we next find him on a sofa where he will suck and get fucked by a butch guy with tattoos (on him, I like tattoos). As in all of the preceding scenes the sex is not reciprocal suggesting they have cast straight hunks to be serviced by gay guys.

The next solo has a “jungle boy” in a loincloth creeping around. Great build. Hot guy. Nice healthy spending. I am looking forward to him being in the next action scene, but alas—no.

Instead we have two new guys. Now these begin by kissing, which signals that the sex here might be mutual. It is. Both suck dick and then sixty-nine. When the fucking starts it’s very slow and languorous and BORING.

The last solo scene features a real beauty at an outdoor pool. He plays with himself and gets very stiff, but the scene ends with him jumping into the pool without cumming. Santa didn’t cum in the first solo; now this one doesn’t either. What a letdown! And what a disappointing conclusion!

To sum up: there are some great looking guys here, but the sex is only a little better than average. Definitely worth a rental. Buy it if you are a Brazil nut or get a good price or like to play with buttons on your remote.