Love From Cannes Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  6/29/2006

The setting: a bakery. The performers: average. The sex: mediocre. The language: French.
Outside of an opportunity to work on your French comprehension the film offers little. One scene takes place in the front of the store. The others all take place in the kitchen.

It starts in the kitchen with the only cute guy in the film. He’s Baker Number One. He will appear in many scenes. Here he goes down on a typical Gallic guy and sucks for eons. He is briefly reciprocated but is soon back on the old wiener. Then he’s fucked. We never, never, never get to see any of the fucking begin. It is always underway when we join them. I HATE THAT! We miss the hottest part the cock going in! While they are fucking, another sort of geeky baker joins in for the traditional French ménage a trois. Raucous music plays throughout. At the conclusion all cum on the cute baker.

In the front of the bakery a skinny customer is perusing the desserts. He decides on the salesman. It’s not bigger than a breadstick but he eats it anyway. The salesman taste tests the customer before the customer returns to the salesman’s éclair. Again we join the fuck in progress and have more raucous music.

Back in the kitchen they are making cookies and then—ZAM—we find some cocksucking going on. Now there’s not even preparation for the fellatio! As in the first scene they are joined by a third. He’s a twink and is soon discovered with a cock in his ass and another in his mouth for another ménage a trois.

We are now back with the two bakers from scene one: the cute one and the geek. They are making a strawberry pie. A skinny guy wearing only an apron enters and is given the job of scouring the bake pans. After much time has gone by the others pull off the apron. Again we will join the fuck already underway for yet another ménage a trois.

The Gallic guy who was interrupted fucking the cute baker in the first scene is now fucked by a dude in a business suit. Of course we don’t see the fucking begin.

Again we have the two bakers: the cute one and the geek and a third guy for a ménage a trois. They are joined by another for a ménage a quatre. Then it becomes a ménage a cinq. But quantity is no substitute for quality and by now I was tired of seeing the same ole guys.

This one did nothing for me. The baked goods were more intriguing than the sex. That was only half-baked.