London Calling (Titan) Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  7/20/2005

Many studios these days are expanding their catalogues to include foreign films. Falcon has the sensational Falcon International; Hot House has the wonderful Euroboys films; All Worlds has the fine Cazzo films. Titan has decided to join them in releasing foreign films. The first of these for Titan is a film from Antton Harri Productions entitled LONDON CALLING. Antton Harri is known for the Tribal Pulse Trilogy THE ANTTON HARRI STORY and for appearing in BONE ISLAND from Kristen Bjorn. He has now apparently decided to form his own company and produce films with himself as star. He is pleasant, and attractive—if you like your guys a bit chunky with their chests shaved smooth and their skin the color of chalk. But, he is certainly not the heartthrob (or should that be hardthrob) of a Pavel Novotny, a Lukas Ridgeston, or the top of the line stars of Bjorn, Kazan, or Herve Handsome.

The film opens in Antton’s office. Antton is seated at his desk. A handsome Victor Campos bare-chested stands behind him. Jamie Summers and Kriss Stahl enter. Both have Germanic accents. I think Jamie is the cute curly-headed blond and Kriss is the darker-haired one. Antton asks if they are coming to his party that evening. Kriss says he can’t as he has another party to go to. Antton gets on the phone to call Bruno to see if he’s coming. He tells Bruno to bring friends and drinks. (Apparently this is not only a Bring-Your-Own-Bottle but a Bring-Your-Own-Boy as well.) After an awkward pause, Antton asks if the guys in his office want some drinks. They all say yes and he goes to get them—never returning. Victor immediately plops himself down in Antton’s desk chair and hauls out his uncut cock. It’s a nice brown beauty. Victor has removed his pubic hair; only a shadow of it remains. Now I like uncut cocks and I have a thing for shaved crotches so I spring a boner. It appeals to Kriss as well and he literally crawls over Antton’s desk to get at it. With Kriss now on his hands and knees on the desk leaning over to suck Victor’s cock, Jamie begins to remove Kriss’ clothes and tongue his ass. Both fuck him.

We next find Antton cleaning up from the mini-orgy that has just taken place in office when Bruno Din and Matt Davies enter. Bruno is a tall caramel colored dude; Matt is a redhead with a beard. His accent clearly defines him as lower-class English. I like him. I like him even more when he removes his clothes. “We have two presents for you”, Bruno tells Antton. Their cocks. Both are hung like mules and Antton is happy to suck them. Matt has a stunning tattoo of brilliant turquoise. He has also shaved every last vestige of hair from above his stiff dick. (See, I told you I liked him better with his clothes off.) When Antton is up on the desk sucking Bruno, Matt is opening up Antton’s ass with his fingers. Bruno rides Antton’s face before Antton is sitting impales on Bruno’s cock. Matt continues shoving fingers up Antton’s ass alongside Bruno’s cock. (I found it interesting that Matt was wearing a condom on his fingers.) It’s kinky but it all goes on too long and I’m soon bored. Bruno and Matt cum.

Scene three is the party. Antton is late. His present is a stripper dressed in leather who enters down a spiral staircase. The most interesting thing about the stripper is his spiked codpiece. The dance—if you can call it that—seems to go on forever. It’s one of those tiresome routines done by someone with little imagination and no sense of rhythm. At one point he lies along the laps of three guys seated on the sofa and they apply lube to his back. It’s Titan’s Pjur Eros. (Maybe that’s how Harri got the franchise. Bottles of the stuff also pop up in the background—even in the john.) Finally, the stripper sits on Antton’s lap and begins to strip him. It’s the first good look we get at Antton’s chest—hairless, white as paste, tending to plumpness. (Think Pillsbury doughboy.) Antton at last frees the stripper’s dick and sucks it. He then leads the stripper up the spiral staircase. The other guests have begun to make out (Jamie is getting it on with Victor) so no one notices Antton’s departure. A sleepy-eyed Matt winds down the stairs and approaches one of the revelers. “Hey, Sun, suck my cock.” Sun obliges and Matt then fucks him. The highpoint of the orgy is when the versatile Matt is fucked by one of the other guests. (See, why I like him?)

After this I really didn’t have any desire to see Antton and the stripper getting it on, and we don’t. Jamie and Victor go into the john to clean the spooge from their bodies and find Antton sitting in the tub. They join him. Jamie begins by sucking Victor’s hairless cock and the three go at it. Victor fucks Antton. The End.

I fear Titan has made a poor choice with which to begin their foreign expansion. If Titan wishes to continue with this line—and I hope they will despite this lackluster beginning—then perhaps they should send Brian Mills or another of their talented staff over to England or wherever and make a film themselves rather than rely on lesser talents to do the job for them. Although LONDON CALLING is not a bad film, it’s far below what we have come to expect from Titan.