Little Whore That Could, The Review

Reviewed by vodka tonic  on  4/20/2006

Director : Jill Kelly
Camera : Jack Remy
Cast : Cindy Crawford, Tyler Faith, Tyra Banxxx, Harley Monroe, Katie Gold, Shelly Jones, Tommy Gunn, Grant Michaels, Lee Stone, Brett Rockman, Sergio Suarez
Genre : Vignettes
Running time : 86 mins

DVD Extras : Chapter selection, trailers, photo gallery, Behind-The-Scenes

Behind-The-Scenes : Cindy looks very nervous before her threesome cue, onions are cooking somewhere, Vegas native Harley Monroe is interviewed but the jazz music in the background is covering everything. Tyra’s never been with a guy who’s less than 7 inches, but the question is, can she count to 7? Director Kelly is nowhere to be seen.

Trailers : “Spend the Night with Cindy”, “Tyra’s Runway Rendezvous”, “Cindy’s Way #4”


WHO’S DOING WHO ? :

1) CINDY CRAWFORD, BRETT ROCKMAN & SERGIO SUAREZ



Cindy pulls her best Santa Monica Boulevard look, curly laqué blonde hair cascading on a glittery blue stretch bandeau & matched hooker pants. She’s fondled by muscle studs Brett & Sergio, which foretells a hi-NRG grind-a-thon like the lithe contract girl has got her fans accustomed to. Both hunks warm her up nicely, tickling & caressing her love cave through her pants, then over her violet panties. Brett licks her snatch while she takes Sergio in her mouth and vice-versa, and I must say Brett’s appendage is the biggest I’ve seen on a white man in a while. Jack Remy at the helm means an equal blend of close-ups & full body shots shot from a variety of angles. Brett fulfills his mish duties, then Cindy climbs on Sergio in cowgirl with Brett’s schlong firmly planted in her mouth, in the best part of this moderately hot threesome. They come abundantly on her butt. Good camerawork but inexistent chemistry.

2) KATIE GOLD & SHELLY JONES



Shelly is a thick brunette with good-looking implants that suit her frame. She’s having tender lesbian sex with veteran Katie Gold in a red-themed studio set. Why not? Katie takes good care of her, sniffing her face & licking her ears & titillating her bud. It’s a slow builder with nice chemistry between two women who look like they enjoy each other’s company, and I’m of the opinion that it would have benefited from more intimate settings than a studio set. Katie is the most expansive. Shelly’s body reminds of Wendy Devine’s, as does her face. They share a couple of dildoes in a variety of positions, most notably in jackhammer, with Katie’s hair brushing the floor. Nice enough

3) TYLER FAITH & TOMMY GUNN



Covered with long, transparent black gloves, Tyler’s fingernails are tapping the table, impatiently waiting for her lover Tommy to unclothe. Charcoal blue eyes & a cocktail dress opened up to her bare kitten, Tyler wanks her lover’s pecker with her mouth, then bends over the table so he can reciprocate. It has been said that Tyler’s hair always looks better on boxcovers than in the actual movies. It looks great here, in a side ponytail held by a pearl choker. She overpowers the muzak background with full throttle groans as Tommy bangs her from behind, then in missionary, but these sound more like fake pornstar encouragements than genuine cries of pleasure. They both look fantastic, but once again the magic fails to happen. The best part of this clip is a mish/spoon variant on the table, which rose this reviewer’s dick to attention just in the time for the weak pop shot on the table.

4) HARLEY MONROE & GRANT MICHAELS



Harley, a cute, small-chested brunette with something of Allisyn Chaynes going, lights some candles in her living room to set a romantic mood before stripping for gym bunny boyfriend Grant. Harley’s smiling & engaging and charmingly shy for a girl with both nipples adorned with rings. They start in reverse cowgirl on the sofa, then switch to doggy after a brief spoon before he comes a copious load on her chest. Sweet eye-candy & good framework.

5) TYRA BANXXX & LEE STONE



Bimboesque Tyra ogles from beneath at repairman Lee, who works on the upper scaffolding. Muscle-bound Lee steps down from his ladder so that her mouth faces his crooked monster, and Tyra engages in a blow-job, which Lee cannot help but transform into a thorough throat-gagging séance. It’s all a bit too young for the debutante, whose tears & retching gargles culminate in the sound of barfing, but I may be mistaken as it cuts to pussy-eating at this precise moment. The rest of this scene mostly consists of a long, probing missionary and a hot reverse cowgirl, which respectively make the most of each performer’s unique bodies. Stick-thin Tyra keeps her trainers throughout. They come back to a slow, focused mish before she gobbles his goo. Past the uncomfortable foreplay (turn down the sound), this is a good finale to an unequal collection.


SO ? : Fans of covergirl Cindy Crawford will be disappointed to learn that the blonde vixen only appears in one scene, and a so-so one at that. Bar this little fluke, “The Little Whore That Could” is typical late JKP fare, a senseless collection of well-directed & photographed vignettes that are essentially worth the weight of its performers and the craft of its cameraman. A couple of scenes will justify a rental. Lightweight, if professional, fluff, consumed and digested in the moment.