Licensed to Fuck (Fake Taxi) Review

Reviewed by butter_bbb  on  3/27/2020

Everyone who'se watched any porn online knows about Fake Taxi... The UK's "decades" later answer to the original Bang Bros. "Bang Bus" long-running and somewhat succesful, if not infamous line. Fake Taxi, in presentation format that is, is supposed to have real girls/ladies paying for their cab fare by having sex with the taxi driver, all captured by two of the taxi's internal security cameras, as well as a hand-held camcorder for the POV and other required shots. The truth is that the fake taxi drivers are indeed legit U.K. porn studs, and the female talent are also "pros", in the sense that they are U.K. performers, in some (if not most) cases appearing under pseudonymns to better create the illusion.

I was self-conned into purchasing a couple of Fake Taxi titles due to the fact I am a fan of one of the "drivers", having followed his career prior to this stint, his swan song before retiring. I was at least expecting the bare minimum in terms of "delivery" from the said stud, but I guess he must have kept his better performances for other volumes in this series because "License To Fuck" (2015) barely delivers what I was expecting. Sure it is my own fault for having such expectations, but in the end, I would have been very happy not having purchased this DVD instead of having this feeling of being ripped off.

Scene 1 has the somewhat watcheable Delilah Dash. She is quite "cute" in a ballooned-up UK porn "actress", so the visual appeal is there for certain. In fact, she looks like she was on her way to work at the strip club for the evening. Our not-so-anonymous driver works his schtick before his own stick is rock hard and ready for the undressed Delilah. Typical Fake Taxi sex ensues, and cumshot is a semi mish creampie on the back seat. I am not a fan of creampies at all, so this scene rates a dud for me. SOrry!

Scene 2 features Rio Lee, a rather well-know pornstar, so having her seem like a "real girl" is kind of a stretch. I have seen Rio in a couple of scenes from other UK DVD titles and I was quite impressed by her on-screen personnae. Anyway, same "fake" driver does the ho-hum fake taxi stuff, until he actually pops out of Ms Lee's cunt in mish in the back seat to explode a load all over her front end. You can tell she didn't want a facial by the way she outstretched her torso and head to make sure the flying cum missiles only reached up to her tits. Not Mr "fake taxi" 's best popshot, but much better than the first scene, so it's a thumbs up!

Scene 3 has another UK porn performer moderately unknown to USAers-only porn hounds. Chessie Kay looks trashier than any of the previously seen wenches in this volume, so here's hoping for a sloppy messing ending! No need to repeat the usual fake taxi set-up and sex, I am certain you are all quite familiar with the formulae: mostly barely watcheable angles and the usual sex positions on the back seat. The end comes yet again as a downer, the popshot also being a semi-creampie. Seriously, when you got "this" stud performing, you want to see his popshots fly all over, not barely seeing the aftermath oozing out of a freshly shaved pussy. Ah well, maybe this works for some, but not for me. Another dud in this series, I fear!

Scene 4, and our final outing for this volume, features the "girl", who most could pass for a "real" (read: not a pro porn performer) person, Miss Trixx. With her dark pinkish dyed hair and her multiple tattoos, she looks like she took a break from biker bars and 7-days straight stripping to make extra bucks during the daytime by going through the motions in the typical fake taxi set-up. Her energy is quite respectable, and at times does offer up some enthusiasm worthy of rewatcheability. The cumshot this time is "better", although she jacks off our Mr "faxi taxi driver", a little too close and not to the full end, resulting in, yes, a "facial", but a rather poor one at that, so it's only a barely thumbs up when compared with the bulk of the rest of this DVD's cumshots.

In conclusion, if the fake taxi scenario is what you really want, or if you are a die-hard hardcore fan of the female performers (and I do mean a seriously die-core fan!), the the premise, the production values, and the action will surely please you. But if you're looking for explosive external cumshots, you might as well roll the dice and pick almost anything else promising voluminous facials, which this DVD doesn't. But again, it was my fault for expecting "that" porn stud masquerading as the fake taxi driver to deliver something akin to what I was accustomed to from his pre-fake taxi performances.

2.5 out of 5 at most (and I am being very, very generous!)