Lean, Mean Fighting Machines Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  6/26/2005

Barrack X 69 is another of those amateur companies that lures young servicemen to strip and stroke. I was less than enthusiastic about the previous film from this studio I reviewed, but this one gave me a fair amount of pleasure. This was due solely to the young performers whose looks and charm overcame mediocre camera work and my annoyance of the garrulous photographer who thinks—mistakenly—that he’s clever and funny.

The first wanker was Lucas, a young twenty-year-old from the Coast Guard. There is a horrible tattoo of a badly drawn angel on his back and a rather nice tattoo on his right shoulder and arm. Lucas is cute. He’s very sweet. He says he’s into bondage and being whipped. He also says he tops and bottoms. Arrangements are made for him to return and do a scene. Unfortunately it’s not on this DVD. DAMN! I suppose we’ll just have to go to their web site and search for it. I, for one, definitely want to see him in action.

Ethan Spense is nineteen. He too is cute. He closes his eyes as he pulls his pud. “I’m cummin’,” he announces. And he does.

The final pud-puller is Armando. We don’t get his age but he’s 5’6” and weighs 115. He has a light mustache and goatee and wears a sailor hat. Both nipples have rings. He has a small cut cock. He talks about boys and is obviously a horny little predator. He brings some variety to his masturbation scene by shoving a long dildo up his butt.

We conclude with two duos. The first consists of Josh Williams, a cheerful twenty-something and Alan Fisher, who’s cute and cocky and nineteen. From the discussion we understand that Alan has a twin brother and both work for Miami Studios—another venue for amateur (and often amateurish) films. Josh is in a marine uniform; Alan is only wearing a pair of shorts. They start with a kiss and Alan begins to undress Josh. When Josh’s plump dick is revealed, Alan goes down on it. We—and they—have a terrible time trying to get into it, as the photographer won’t shut up! Talk about killing the mood! He chatter, chatter, chatters in the most inane babble. What a twit! He thinks he’s amusing but he just comes across as an ass. I end up putting the DVD on mute. In spite of the distraction, Alan manages to give Josh a pretty good blowjob. Josh also sucks Alan. I put the sound back up only to find the photographer still making cracks that he thinks are clever—NOT! (Someone should shove a cock or something in his mouth.) Alan fucks Josh. We spend too much time in a close-up and they only fuck in one position.

The final pairing features cute Kyle McDermott (something of a studio regular) and Sven, the Swede who was in First Time Fuckers. Motor-mouth is behind the camera again. Kyle gives head to Sven. Sven strips and sucks Kyle. Kyle has shaved 98% of his pubic hair. He has a big hard dick. It’s certainly hard enough to fuck Sven, so he does. Once again we spend too much time in a close-up and they fuck in only one-position—sidesaddle. A naked Ethan sits nearby and watches.

This is indeed the far better film of the two I’ve seen from Barrack X 69. It’s one thing to talk to the performers to put them at their ease. It’s quite another to think you’re the cleverest thing since sliced bread and are Jerry Seinfeld and Whoopi Goldberg rolled into one. But there is the mute button, and with that close at hand this film can raise your spirits.