Le Seigneur des Anus Review

Le Seigneur des Anus
(JTC)
Directed by Gabriel Zero
Starring: Sylvia Lancôme, Petra, Lenka (Natalka), Denisa, Jana, Selina, Nikki Reed, Pascal and Sandra Russo
Note - Sandy Saint is not in this movie

"Lord of Asses", is a translation of the title, but Tom Byron is nowhere in sight. Instead, Rocco Siffredi's cousin, cameraman, photographer, and right-hand man Gabriel Zero journeys to Prague to conduct casting sessions which feature some of the lovely girls that you will hopefully have been enjoying in many of the best productions so far this year.

It was suggested to me that this is material only for serious fans of these girls, and that's by a man who should know about these things, but as such it should be very enjoyable viewing for those wishing a little bit of insight into new starlets' initiations into the wonderful world of European pornography! Be warned - if you thought Woodman's castings were rough and ready, in terms of production values, these make Woodman's seem big budget! There is also a lot of stripping, posing, and fooling around for much of the time - it is not primarily about hardcore sex scenes.

Sylvia Lancôme
First up for the casting in a flat in a Prague tower block is none other than Miss Afghanistan, as Rocco bills her in Rocco's Initiations 4 (which must have been the partial result of these very castings). Sylvia is a very attractive, 20 year old half-Slovakian, half-Afghani girl, who is already well on her way to being a star. She's very self-confident and sexy, speaks great English and has a really charming personality and a good deal of intelligence about her. Here she strips for Gabriel, who loves her hairy pussy, and does some poses through in the bedroom for him; showing off her slim, trim body and superb smooth bottom, and spreading a really beautiful pussy. The conversation is interesting - apparently her pussy is broken (!) and she can only take it up the ass just now. The camera becomes strangely wobbly at this point…

Lenka
I must come right out and confess that Lenka (also going by the name of Natalka) is probably my current favourite. She's a fabulous, ever smiling teen princess, a totally beautiful brunette with the most amazing eyes, great natural boobs and a marvellous bum. She peels off the same jeans she was wearing in RI4, tries to be sexy for Gabriel but, quite charmingly, she hasn't got a clue. Gabriel amuses himself by making silly comments that keep her laughing while he plays with the "camel toe" in her girlish panties. Oh dear. He says he is falling in love - what I would give to be in his shoes at these moments! Right, get a grip. She and Gabriel each are obviously of the opinion that the other is totally crazy. It's totally delightful to see this sparkling young girl laughing as she shows off her body, jumping on the bed, and then to imagine the naughtiness that she is going to get up to in her porn career. She claims not to do anal - fortunately she's had a change of heart, judging by the box cover of Beautiful Girls 5. Too much!

Denisa
With no credits to go by, I apologise to Denisa if I got her name wrong. This is a shorter clip with a shyer, less communicative young lady, with dark hair, pretty face and lovely firm boobs. Her foreign language skills extend only to German and she is a good deal less confident, though charming with it, than the others. Will we see more of her?

Petra
Another Rocco's Initiations 4 alumnus, Petra is a svelte sandy blonde with a really sweet smiling face. She reveals a beautiful bottom, perky tits and long legs as Gabriel admires her smooth, clear skin. She really is very pretty but to Gabriel's dismay, she also announces herself as a "no-anal" performer. She's very accommodating to his requests for poses, spreading her sublime pussy open, but seems a little unsure about how far this should go, seeing as it is only a casting. She is perhaps a little more professionally aware, and like Sylvia (but unlike Lenka) has some idea about being sexy.

Janavi
After meeting this tall, slim blonde (yet another lovely, smiling girl - excellent in 18 & Nasty 26) at his hotel, the action transfers to the hotel room and the mood gets decidedly edgy. This turns out to be a most intimate sex session, very roughly shot in Gabriel's POV but remarkable nonetheless. You rarely see something that is as "for real" as this in professional porn. Janavi gives him a blowjob while we admire her pale skin and tits that hang in soft peaks. I wish I understood some of the chatter that goes on here, presumably in Czech, but Gabriel's attempt to slip a small bottle into her pussy isn't welcome - four fingers and a hint of thumb are more appreciated. Naughty! Like I say, it's a really edgy little encounter and, frankly, a real turn on. She then bounces frantically on his cock. In a jumble of blurred body parts, she turns round and next thing she's sucking off his spunky cock. Yes, the lighting is poor, the picture is grainy, and the camera work understandably wobbly, but this is hot.

Mystery Girl
Didn't catch a name, sorry. Outdoors in the snow at the mansion location used in Rocco's Initiations 4 (among others), Gabriel fools around with a pretty, busty young brunette. She pulls up her top to reveal nice big boobs, and flicks around her tongue stud. She doesn't seem to have any idea why Gabriel insists on smearing snow on her nipples, and she doesn't seem amused by his weak attempts at humour either, but like all of these girls she is perfectly at ease about showing off her body.

Jana
…or at least I think that's what she said. She's a cheerful brunette who is very happy to show off her body, again out in the snow. The wintry light is poor on this scene, washing out the colour too, but it's fun to see her flash her small boobs and lovely little round butt. She seems to be a very personable young lady too.

Selina
Again, approximating her name only. Pascal and Gabriel are testing out this rather kinky chair in an eccentrically furnished room. Tattooed brunette Selina, who I presume is French and is sadly not of the "cute young thing" ilk as the Czech (and Slovak) girls we saw already, is ushered in to try the chair, which has a hole cut in the seat, through which brushes rotated by a hand crank gently stroke her pussy. Female ADT readers may be intrigued - sorry I don't know which furniture store stocks this item! Anyway, this develops into an anal sex session with the very enthusiastic Selina taking a good old bum bashing from Pascal. She jerks him off to finish it up - his come flies right on to his face. He does not laugh. But I did. This scene is in two parts, bookending the following…

Nikki Reed
A very pretty youthful blonde, dressed in flowery frock and white stockings, poses a little for the lens and then gives a lucky unidentified guy a juicy blowjob, and is rewarded with thick ropes of come draped from her dainty face. This scene has much better picture quality, but Nikki is a rather blank performer, whose expression barely changes throughout.

Sandra Russo
After the conclusion of Selina's scene, Sandra Russo makes an appearance in a kitchen-located sex scene. It's regular stuff - oral exchanges, vaginal and anal sex and facial finish - but Sandra does look good. Again, better picture quality, but it's debatable whether you really need another Sandra Russo scene, especially one as basic as this.

Bonus Scenes
The disc includes two extra short hardcore scenes - one between Sabine (or Sabina, you know, from Rocco's Way to Love and so on) and this odd, squat-looking guy, and yet another Jessica May scene. She takes on burly Czech stud Jiri (AKA George), while another little blonde does a little A2M. Yes, Jessica looks good, but surely she is the only Czech starlet who is even more over-exposed than Sandra Russo.

Overall
Ultimately, it's true - Les Seigneur des Anus is only really for very serious fans of some of the girls featured. I was interested to see what Gabriel Zero could do on his own, but aside from the captivating casting stuff, and that notable little scene with Janavi, it is a bit of a mish-mash and the hardcore scenes are certainly nothing special at all. I don't suppose this is exactly representative of what Gabriel would do if he were doing a full-scale production of his own, but I do have another of his movies to view (24h du Gland) so we'll see about that.

For its own part, Le Seigneur des Anus is no classic, but I just found it fascinating to see these adorable girls and to wonder how on earth they are going to be persuaded into Rocco and Gabriel's world of debauchery. Quite easily, it would seem! They are mainly rather keen to try out this new experience, but I wonder how much they really know about what they are getting into. But I digress: that's another story. I enjoyed this a lot, it supplied what I was looking for, but its quite limited appeal with has to be taken into account in the rating.

Note - this movie has mainly English dialogue, mixed with Czech for the castings and Janavi's scene, and some French. It is made for the French market and Gabriel tries to speak French where he can, but few of the girls can speak the language, so it's not too much of an issue. Also important - Sandy, pictured front centre, does not appear in the movie. The pictures on the back do not show scenes from the movie either - poor show. And for that matter, the cover quotes an inaccurate running time. The feature is about 84mins, and with extras under 2 hours, not the 2 hours 30 they optimistically/fraudulently claim, so watch out!

DVD Comments
This is the first disc I have watched from French label JTC and I am not impressed at all by the poor picture quality - some of this is down to ropy source footage, but it does not appear to be a dual-layer disc and hence appears to have had too much compression. The sound is particularly poor: tinny and slightly distorted on dialogue especially, though not on the music so this could be a source issue again. The menus are well done, however, and the extras are reasonable - two short, very standard, extra sex scenes, a photo shoot scene featuring Sylvia, extensive photo gallery, and extracts from a couple of other JTC movies. There are no language or subtitle options.