Kimono Kronicles

Studio: 3rd World Media

Stars: Mirai Haneda, Yuzuru and Junko

Running time: 1:37 (feature) - 0:34 (bonuses)

This a Japanese production, and the gimmick is that each of the girls begins by wearing a kimono, and then it segues into hardcore sex. The beginning of the movie suggests a collision of two cultures--the old style shy, covered up, elegant kimono girls, and modern raw sex. Since you can count the time the girl actually wears a kimono in seconds before it's taken off--it's just a quick gimmick. Too bad, too--I think kimonos are sexy.

Three girls in three scenes, each about ½-hour long. The first two are straight sex. Mariai Haneda is a fair skinned girl with medium boobs and big, pink nipples. Here scene is with a somewhat chunky japanese guy. As with the other (admittedly few) Japanese movies I've seen, there's a lot of foreplay--boob play, nipple sucking and finger masturbation to bring the actress off, followed by a blowjob and then vaginal sex in a couple positions.

Yuzuru's scene appears to be more a playlet. She's a student who's kidnapped by her former teacher, who mistakes her for his wife (who was expecting to be "kidnapped"). Of course, because he put a hood on her, he can't tell her apart from anyone else and proceeds of fuck her silly. Yuzuru is a small breasted, light skinned woman. Again, there's a fair amount of foreplay before we get a blowjob, some finger masturbation, and vaginal sex in various positions.

We wrap up with Junko, an olive skinned girl with small breasts but baby-bottle huge brown nipples. No dumb story here--it begins with her in bed with two guys--one kissing her neck and the other her clit. It then moves into a variety of MMF combinations (no anal) and a Hitachi Magic Wand-type vibrator.

Special Features: Three bonus scenes featuring the three actresses: there's a photo shoot with Mirai, posed in (and out of) a kimono. That's the shortest at around 30 seconds. Then Junko and her long nipples returns for six minute or so masturbation session with vibrators, and then finally a long, very colorfully shot hardcore session with Marai getting double-teamed with two guys outdoors. This scene comes from "Pretty Little Asian #43", so it's also a tie-in for another series. Other bonuses include a short "cumshot recap," photo gallery, and trailers for other titles.

Production values: Once the intial opening title for each section is over, the audio video are quite clean and bright. There's no annoying music track. Camera work is nothing special but usually gets what I want to see. By far the best, production-wise, is the bonus bit from "Pretty Little Asian," which is very bright and colorful, and has a lot of multiple-shots on screen, so at the same time you might get a wide shot on the right side of the screen, and a tight shot on the left. Or a front shot on the center a close-up of the girl's face in the corner. It's good stuff.

On the other hand, there are only two chapters for each scene, so if you want to find something you have to ride the seek button on the remote--some I just love to do when I'm watching porn (not).

Final verdict: This is another Japanese DVD where I'm really conflicted. I love the sex--they spend time on foreplay, they know what boobs are for, they take their time. So many American movies are just checklist sex--the girl takes her clothes off, the guy gives a lick and a kiss on her boobs, then it's blowjob, muff diving, missionary, doggie style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, anal, cumshot. Repeat. Japanese titles look a little more like a real session, like the audience is supposed to get off because the performers are getting off, not just putting a show.

What bothers me is still the cultural thing I discussed in my review for I'm Camera Shy—the girls screech and frown and cringe and generally look and sound like they're in pain. I used to women who smile when they're enjoying themselves—I want to see these girls look like they're having fun. If I want a woman who looks miserable during the act, I can get that at home.

So even though I like the sex, I find that distracts me and ruins the mood. I love watching the foreplay, but it unnerves me to see a woman who looks like she's choking back tears, and the subtitle says "feels so good!" I wonder if they retitle these things as rape videos for other markets.

So be forewarned. If you like Japanese videos where the girls look like they're being fucked with rat-tale files, or if you can get past it anyway—this is quite a good video. The girls are pretty, the guys don't look like they escaped convicts, and the sex has a variety and quality you don't often see in American productions. But if you're not a sadist—you may want to turn the sound off and avoid making eye contact...