Jail Babes 20 Review

     Jail babes huh? What like womyn that have been locked up so long they turn lesbo? Well, the chick on the cover is luscious looking, I like em' busty, let's give it a spin.

The Basics

-Jail Babes, Volume 20
-Genre: Straight
- 3 chapters

Overall Value- $7.00

The Run Down

     The precept is that Hustler has collected womyn that have been arrested to be in their Jail Babes series. I guess we're not supposed to notice that the first scene has nothing to do with that. Anyway, the girls introduce themselves in the guise of a scene, or directly to the camera and things go from there. Not my idea of a strong foundation for a plot but hey, to each their own.   

*Luna's definition of a Lipstick Lesbian*
A fake, obviously  unenthusiastic, girl girl performance. Typically refers to a actress that is no bi-sexual or lesbian in real life but does G/G scenes for the money.

Scene 1
Bamboo
     Meet Bambbo, she is a self proclaimed "Vietnamese ex-patriot turned porn queen." She explains how she and her family were political prisoners in Vietnam and her mom "blew" enough guards to secure their escape. Now there's a happy story. She goes on to tell how she has fled communist oppression and is able to provide a better life for her family by sucking cock and eating cum on camera. Sick yet? I was.

     Some bozo meets up with Baboo and they start in with unenthusiastic, fake kissing. He puts her up on the counter and can't seem to close his yap. He mouths off stupid shit like "are you ready for deli?" referring to cunnilingus. Lucky for him she speaks only French. At one point he hangs a wire hanger from her errect nipple. O.K, what the hell's up with that? It's stupid, kills the mood and who the hell has a hanger in their kitchen? " Ready for the blue plate special?" as he spits a lugie into her pussy, complete with the phhtt sound. Jiminy where the hell did they find this guy! Bamboo goes down for a B.J but she never get's him in her mouth past his head. They switch to standing doggie, do some missionary on the counter, then on the the bench for some reverse cowgirl to which our idiot friend gives the jewel of his commentary when he say's..."bouncing on the meatballs baby!". With a not so graceful dismount we assume the position for the obligatory facial.

     I was so completely turned off by this guy it was unbelievable, maybe if I'd watched the scene on mute I would have enjoyed it more but that's a big maybe.

Looks 8-10
Heat  2 of 10
 

Scene 2
Friday & Trinity
     Meet Friday, she was arrested for drunk driving, she is the inebriated customer. Friday is very nicely rounded (the way I like em!) and has long dark hair. She's very pretty aside from a hideous tattoo on her venus mound. Trinity who was arrested for possession of narcotics (oops) is the bartender, she's blonde anorexicly thin.

     Friday is explaining to Trinity how "I got arrested for a DUI but it was fun though...". Meanwhile, she's half on the bar, half on the stool with her boob hanging out and her ass showing. She eludes to being raped by the cops on the way to the station but she's not sure what happened because someone slipped her a mickey at the club. Um, what part of that was fun..?

     Then Trinity shares her story of how she got busted for holding her friends joint. Come on. I used that excuse when I was 15 and got caught smoking. Anyway, being a porn Friday has to feel Trinity's outfit which of course leads to lipstick lesbian kissing and some touchy feely. Meanwhile the janitors are cleaning up the bar around them and when they finish up ask if there's anything else they can help with. Oh yeah, that's not obvious. To which Friday pipes up with "I like cock....and so everyone gets in on the fun.

     There's some finger fucking pussy licking, G/G kissing, fingers up the ass and then they line up the boys on the bar for blow jobs.

     Friday takes it doggie and missionary over 2 bar stools, then anal missionary while she spanks her pussy. And of course it all ends with a facial. In which he pastes her eye shut. No sex for Trinity, she just keeps on blowing Mr. Penis #2 while Friday gets busy with Mr. Penis #1.

Looks
Trinity 8 of 10
Friday 6 of 10
Heat 8 1/2

Scene 3
Misty & Barbi

     Misty introduces herself as a dancer who was arrested for grabbing a cops package during a lap dance. She eludes (not very well) that she got interested in womyn. Now there's a story I'm likley to believe.

     Barbi introduces herself as being 30 I don't think so... and say's she was arrested for shoplifting because her "stupid ex-boyfriend" stuffed some jackets in her bag and she didn't know. Uh, huh. Oddly enough, she too became interested in womyn during her whopping 24 hour stint in jail.

     This scene starts with both of them on the couch and some lipstick lesbian kissing, a little nipple play and finally pussy licking. The scene abruptly cuts from Misty eating Barbi out to some fugly guy in a sheriff's jacket kissing Barbi while she looks bored and just hangs her mouth open for him to kiss. There is some pussy licking, he sticks his tongue and then his finger in her ass. From there they move into the inevitable B.J, throw in some titty fucking and reverse cowgirl complete with squelching noises and lame ass comments from the guy like "ride the boner baby". Oh yeah, that's my personal favorite accompaniment for porn. They do some sideways missionary and she "gives his stick a good wax" and then some anal. Into reverse and regular cowgirl anal and finally! a facial which he kindly tops off by smacking her in the face with his cock. Guaranteed to win kudos from me with crap like that.

     This scene was particularly horrible. Bambi's face was saying are you done yet asshole, while her mouth was spewing the standard, oh baby's. I just find that so disturbing. The music cut out mid-scene, there were a ton of shadows, the looping in the scene was obvious and it sounds like someone is opening and closing a creaky door in the background.

Looks
Barbi 5 of 10
Misty 8 of 10
Heat
G/G scene-6 of 10
G/M scene-4 of 10


Menu

     I like the root menu, it's split screen with the selections on one side and an active shot of reverse cowgirl on the other.

• Play Movie
• Chapters-3
  Bamboo
  Friday & Trinity
  Misty & Barbi
• Slideshow
  15 production stills, penetration, facials, G/G
• Hustler.com
• Previews
  18, including titles such as:
  Superfuckers
  Hot Showers
  Anal Intensive
   

My Overall Impression

   I expected more from Larry Flynt. This was all about following the tired old porn "formula". The womyn obviously were not enjoying themselves, the men were ugly and annoying and the production value was poor.     

     And just because, I've compiled a list of "Oh I'm thrilled" faces  to support my comments. Judge for yourself.

Thrilled 1
>Thrilled 2
>Thrilled 3
>Thrilled 4
 

Have fun, be safe.
Luna