Ice Cold Craving Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  2/22/2005

“Ice Cold Craving” left me stone cold, craving something resembling heat. There certainly wasn’t any in this Euro movie.

The story takes place in, I believe, Sweden. A photographer is taking six fashion models up to the mountains to shoot some pictures. Once they arrive at their cabin, they are informed that there is a curse on the entire city and that no pre-marital sex is tolerated. Anyone caught playing hide the meatball will suffer a terrible fate. So, naturally, the girls all start fucking their brains out as soon as possible. And they continue to fuck even after some of them start mysteriously disappearing (after having sex, of course). Sweden grows their girls pretty, not smart!

Director Mike Beck must be a Quinton Tarrentino wannabe, as he uses surf music and strange camera angles throughout the film. The acting is, as expected, terrible. The English dubbing is horrendous (the photographer has a Southern drawl). But there are plenty of Travel Channel type shots of the snowy landscape and ancient buildings, if that’s your cup of iced tea.

As for the sex, the five blondes (two are very cute) and one brunette suck and fuck each other and various dudes from the town. A blow-by-blow description cannot be given because, as usual with Euro porn, the cast is not identified very well. Suffice to say there are 10 sex scenes (if you include a couple masturbation snippets) with the finale being an orgy involving about a dozen people. There is anal sex up the ass (sorry!) and lots of cum-splattered faces. But the sex scenes tend to be short and intercut with non-sex action, which really leaves me cold.

This is murder-mystery porn, so if you like your sex with a little twist, you may enjoy it. My guess, though, is that no one south of the arctic belt will find it arousing.