I Swallow 5 Review

Reviewed by Principal Skinner  on  12/9/2000

If you think that volume five of Rodney Moore's I SWALLOW series is just more of the same work from the King of Cream, then you would be only partially correct. After thoroughly enthralling and grossing out the viewer with some incredibly nasty swallowing in the first two I SWALLOW videos, this latest edition is comparatively routine and lackluster.  Even with five full length scenes, and one quickie swallow saved as a coda to the program, this is my least favorite edition of this specialty series, and thus, a disappointment.

Don't get me wrong:  the sexual performaces are still first rate, with all the women sucking and fucking like they were participants in a freaky sexual Olympics.  In particular, dirty-blonde Julianna Sterling and Monique throw their bodies and souls into a opening scene mini-gangbang which seems to run on pure kinetic energy.  And China Lee is sexy as hell as a coy participant in Rodney Moore's goofy role-playing. But the other scenes including cover girl Annie Anderson, red- head Eve Edent and brunette Annika are surprisingly unmemorable. Of course, these girls do the nasty without any kind of hesitation or reservation, and naturally, they never shy away from the inevitable torrent of man goo which flows from the director's dick.

However, the underlying raison d'etre of this video seems to have been forgotten.  All the swallowing is performed competently, and consistently.  No one could ever complain that these actresses haven't fulfilled their part of the bargain as they collectively injest mouthfuls of choad.  But the freaky, gross-out novelty has become a overlooked; namely, that of seeing these freaky ladies take their medicine by way glass, straw, spoon or whatever, or else indulging in a little gameplay with the splooge before the final act is performed.  What set the I SWALLOW titles apart from other cumshot videos like Diabolic DOWN THE HATCH is that women like Bobbi Bliss and Shanna McCullough would put on a big show for the viewer before doing the deed:  letting the white lip gloss rest on their lips before slurping it down their throats, or gargling the results before drinking it down.  However, none of the girls in this video even try to have fun before finishing their scene, and as a result, the swallowing becomes mechanically routine.

Of all five scenes, only two really stand out. Julianna Sterling is an thin, attractive dirty blonde who is teamed up with African American Monique to take on five guys (but not including Rodney). We are introduced to them during a tennis match where the girls are performing their panty-less cheerleading routines (definitely not Wimbledon). After some non-sequitur prologues with Julianna peeing into a glass, then giving it to Guy DeSilva to drink a la Gatorade (the peeing is real, but the drink looks like Mountain Dew), both girls get into action. They move from outdoor blowjobs, to full tilt indoor sex which include lots of anal action and the noisily slurpy blow jobs from Monique, who makes up for her average appearance with her drool-laden oral skills. The sex is routine (for a Rodney Moore film) but hot, although at times Julianna is forced to wear one of those ridiculous novelty beer helmets which have two cupholders and two straws so that her hands remain free for some cock-fondling (I never knew those hats really existed after I first saw Homer wearing one of them in THE SIMPSONS). Unfortunately, the swallowing here is a bit disappointing. Instead of seeing cumswapping, or cumkissing between the two, Julianna takes her loads mixed in with some cola through her helmet, which she drinks through the straws. As gross as this sounds, it is far less effective erotically then if the guys made their deposits directly into her mouth. I guess if I was forced at gunpoint, and with the immediate threat of a slow and grisly death of a loved one, to injest liquid genetic code, I suppose that I would need a good chaser to help me get through the experience...but it definitely would be stronger than a few ounces of RC Cola!

AmerAsian China Lee is by far the most attractive brunette to appear in an I SWALLOW title, although her pierced nipples and hideous tattoo on her back can be distractingly obvious. Rodney "seduces" her at a coffee house, and brings her back to his crib, where he begins teasing and taunting her to give his dick a kiss here and there. Despite the unlikely scenario, China looks great in a black dress and high heels while reclining on Rodney's couch, and the camera allows for full length shots of her sexy body as she is giving head. Truthfully, China is the least enthusiastic participant in this movie, but she is defintely the most watchable. She has with Rodney competently and professionally, but there is absolutely no intimacy or passion in her eyes or body language. But she does swallow, so who am I to complain?

The other three scenes are straightforward affairs featuring the figurative casting couch by the director himself. While Eve is kind of cute with her fair skin and auburn hair, and Annie Anderson has the blonde bimbo routine down pat, they are not encounters which I would repeat if I were to ever revisit this disc.

Image quality is very good to excellent.  Even though most of the visuals are washed out and monochromatic, there is a grittiness to the scenes which is appropriate for the subject matter.  The sound quality is superb; there are times when I heard enough slurping and gurgling to the point of aural nausea, but it can really add to the "you are there" experience.

Overall, I SWALLOW 5 is a competent but unremarkable edition of this very nasty series.  However, there are no scenes here which even come [obvious pun ignored] close to the kind of over-the-top work by Bobbi Bliss or Shanna McCullough displayed so prominently in numbers one and two, respectively.  So for those who already own the first two volumes, number five will probably be a lackluster experience..