Hustler's Greatest Tits Review

Reviewed by scipio and Yoshi.

Dir:Mark Kismet.

Extras:
Director's Profile: Mark Kismet talks a bit, and what he says makes sense, although I don't believe he actually achieved what he talks about setting out to do.. It seems to have been shot for (and probably included in) Busty Beauties 2.
Cast List: A list of the cast and couplings in this DVD. Slideshow: A series of stills in autorun form. 2mins.
Trailers: Menu with a selection of trailers from: Asian Fever 19, Barely Legal 50, Hustler Centrefolds 1, Hustler XXX 26, Young Girls Fantasies 6, Young Latin Girls 2.
Sex talk: Same old Phone Sex ads with Paisley and others.
Hustler.com: Website Ad
Hustler Hollywood: That mildly-amusing commercial. Well it's mildly amusing the first time you see it, anyway.

There are also decent individual interviews and BTS bits for each scene, hidden away in the individual scene selections as opposed to accessable from the main menu. Maybe HGT2 also has them hidden away in the same place?

A quick notes on scene ratings - unlike many reviewers of different things who tend to rate "average" as 7/10. I rate average as 5/10, this makes 7/10 from me quite a bit above average, so bear this in mind.

The Hustler's Greatest Tits series is a compilation line featuring scenes taken from their Busty Beauties series.

Scene 1:
Busty Beauties 3 - Doctor fantasy - Avy Scott, Dillon
No Condom.

Avy is a dark blonde with good-looking large natural breasts. Dillon is a muscular guy with a "No Fear" Tasmanian Devil tattoo on his right hip. Avy prances around topless, then naked, jiggle, jiggle. Then she's dressed and laying on a dentist's chair as Dillon, who is wearing a suit gropes and sucks her boobies. Cut and Avy is topless, and Dillon is naked and eating her out, then she sucks his penis with some tit-fucking. They do some standing doggie followed by missionary. The two of them look quite good together, actually. Reverse cowgirl on the chair, P2M, more RC and some POV RC (Avy's butthole looks like it's already been "warmed up". But instead the scene finishes with Dillon jerking off onto Avy's breasts, and a quick bit of head and it's finished.

Not a bad scene actually, but it finished all too quickly.
6/10

Scene 2:
Busty Beauties 8 - Anyone for Tennis - Vicky Vette, Mark Wood
Anal. No Condom. Facial.

Vicky is a hot blonde woman, with enhanced breasts that suit her well. Yoshi thinks that Vicky has a look that's slightly reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe. She's wearing an interesting sun-shield piercing in her navel and she looks great as she poses in slo-mo. We cut to the two performers playing tennis. Vicky in tiny black shorts, and a red crop-top. Soon enough, the tennis ends, and the tit-sucking begins, quickly followed by a blowjob which is reciprocated with some pussy-eating. Reverse cowgirl, PTM, doggie anal, missionary anal while Vicky rubs her clit, then we cut to a close-up of Mark jerking hisd load onto Vicky's mouth and chin, some quick post-cum head, and we're out.

Both of us like Vicky, and she looks really good here, Mark Wood doesn't look creepy, and so we have quite a decent scene. Add a decent facial to finish and we have a good all-round scene..
7/10

Scene 3:
Busty Beauties 2 - Watching Boyfriends - Mercedes Ashley, Melanie Jagger, Brian Surewood, Mr. Pete
No condoms, some Anal.

Mercedes has red hair, a pierced navel and olive skin. She is Puerto Rican. Melanie Jagger has a kind of girl-next-door look to her. Unfortunately, these girls lost the lottery when it comes to male partners, as they drew Mr.Pete and his scrawny faux-eminem look. Brian on the other hand has a 4-year-old biker look.

The guys eat out the girls, who are laying poolside on bananna lounge chair in the sun, then they blow the guys, including some double-BJ action for Brian. Pete screws Mel missionary, Brian screws Mercedes doggystyle, Pete does Mercedes anally, then A2M, the four of them continue to do things to each other in various positions, but I lost interest in trying to work out who and what as more than half of the footage is shot in extreme close-up of body parts, some severe implant puckering on Mercedes, and one of the guys comes all over her breasts and the crucifix (mmm.. sacrelicious) around her neck. The other guy them comes all over Melanie's bosoms.

While I've liked Mercedes' scene in the past (check out Superwhores 2), this scene was confused and badly-shot and badly-paired. Melanie didn't look particularly exciting here, Mr.Pete is not male talent I ever want to see, and Brian is also not my favorite male performer (though infinitely preferable to Pete. Shot in what looked like the peak of a California summer day, the performers were all covered in sweat and the harsh light did noone any favours. A waste of time, quite frankly.
3/10

Scene 4:
Busty Beauties 1 - Home With Alexis - Alexis Amore, Steve Hatcher
No Condom.

Alexis is a beautiful, latin-looking woman with large enhanced breasts that feature tiny, pierced nipples. She also has a Playboy bunny tattoo that decorates her stomach as well as a pierced navel and clit with the world's biggest clit jewelry. After the outdoor tease, we cut to a bed or couch, where Steve, looking like Pacino in Scarface gives Alexis head before she returns the favour. Unfortunately, the scene seems to have been brightened up in editing, resulting in a slightly-solarised and over-exposed look to much of the footage, (ie it looks like cheap video, colour-wise). Anyway, cowgirl, doggystyle, piledriver, then jerk-off onto her breasts, and it's over.

I've always liked Alexis' look, though to date I've never found/watched a good scene of hers. After watching this scene, the search must continue, since this was not very good at all.
4.5/10

Scene 5:
Busty Beauties 3 - Dress Up Fantasy - Mary Carey, Monique Dane
g/g

Mary is a platinum-blonde Barbie Doll with store-bought breasts. Monique is a platinum-blonde Barbie Doll with natural breasts. Mary is a bit more tanned than Monique. They both wear those faux-fur lined little pink dresses. Until about 1min into the scene when they disappear. Breast-licking and sucking, they give each other head in various positions, they break out the purple double-eneded dildo which Monique uses on Mary, they swordfight with their tongues, then the scene cuts suddenly. Wha?

Standard-lesbian-sex-by-the-numbers. It wasn't bad, but the second half of the scene seems to be missing?
4/10

Scene 6:
Busty Beauties 5 - Unusual Business - Felecia Fox, Ben English.
No Condom.

Felecia looks very pretty, and has natural breasts and a pierced navel. The scene starts in some kind of office with cubicles, though Felecia's bra and short skirt look like no officewear I've seen. Ben neads her breasts like he's making pizza dough. He then gived Felecia head, which reveals the world's second-largest clit jewelry. Felecia then gives him head, showing her pierced tongue. Ben has quite the cut body and six-pack happening, and his cock looks enormous here. Reverse cowgirl, doggy, missionary, and finally he jerks off onto her breasts and chin.

The scene was a bit dark, and not ideally shot, but not bad.
5/10

Scene 7:
Busty Beauties 4 - Fantasy Gothic Sex - Brittney Skye, Jay Ashley.
No Condom.

Brittney is a very attractive blonde Barbie doll with an armband tattoo on ler hight bicep, a large tattoo on her left shin and ankle, shaved bush, tongue and naval piercings. The scene starts with Jay laying her down and giving her head. She then gives him head. After awhile he helps her onto a bed and fucks her mouth, then bending her over and fucking her doggy-style. Reverse cowgirl, missionary, then he jerks off onto her chest.

Not a bad scene, but it also felt way too short..
6/10

Scene 8:
Busty Beauties 7 - My First Time - Casey Cole, Mark Wood.
No Condom.

Casey has a somewhat natural look to her face, without excessive makeup. Her boobs, surprisingly, are also natural ones. She does however have a navel piercing, though I can't see any tattoos. Jay gives her head, then she gives Jay head. Missionary, reverse cowgirl, spooning, jerk off to pop on her face and breasts.

I really have to wonder, why would you bother to edit existing scenes down to make them shorter
5/10

Scene 9:
Busty Beauties 6 - My British Bum - Alicia Rhodes, Mark Wood.
No Condom. Anal.

Alicia is a bigger girl, but quite the attractive British blonde, with naturally big breasts and a nice ass. She has a little winged heart tattoo on her left hip. Blowjob, (Mark's dick looks thicker at the end of the shaft??!), cowgirl, RAC, with a touch of a gape, and Alicia decides to finger her own asshole a bit, too, more RAC, A2M, anal spooning, A2M again, then suddenly the scene is once again cut short for a facial jerkoff.

I like Alicia. I like facials. I don't much like A2M. I especially don't like scenes being trimmed like this.
5.5/10

Scene 10:
Busty Beauties 9 - Hiking With Mason - Mason Storm, Trevor.
No Condom.

Mason is a very attractive woman with black hair and huge man-made chesticles. Large lips, pierced navel, She has that dark stripper look down pat. Anyway, she's bushwalking one second, and on a couch getting her clothese peeled off by Trevor the next second. He kisses and kneads her breasts, then we cut to him fucking her mouth as she kneels before him. Mason definately looks like a woman, rather than a girl. Missionary, spoonering, then suddenly he cums all over her chest.

Really hot woman. Scene cut down to almost nothing.
2/10

Unlike Hustler's Greatest Tits #2, the technicals of the scenes in this disc were all over the place. What is completely unforgivable though, is the blatant cutting of the scenes' run time, presumably to make this compilation fit onto the VHS with "10 scenes". Sorry, but when the scenes are (mis)handled in this way, it's just not on. if I want to see scenes trimmed down to fuck-all, I'll just watch a cumshot compilation. Bad Kismet! Bad Hustler!

2/10