Horny Poles 2 Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  4/8/2006

Two young Poles are watching a gay video on TV. This gives them ideas so they strip down. One has a big nose and a small dick. The other has a small nose and a big dick. They are average lookers. They suck one another to no avail, as their dicks remain limp. The sucking is awkward. Finally they sit side by side and pull their puds until they achieve a semblance of hardness. They suck dick again. Big Dick applies some lube to his butthole. I don’t know why as he’s not the one to get fucked. Big Nose applies a condom to Big Dick and tries to sit down on the young Pole’s pole. He doesn’t succeed so they sixty-nine. A third guy enters. Big Nose pulls down the newcomer’s trousers and sucks his dick that—not surprisingly—doesn’t get hard. With all else failing, Big Nose does somehow manage to fuck Big Dick doggy style. The newcomer crawls underneath and he and Big Dick sixty-nine. Big Dick continues to wear the condom he had on ages earlier. The music for this scene was downright weird. At times it sounded as though it should be accompanying a western movie. At this point I wish it had been.

It’s the old massage routine next. The masseur seems to be giving more attention to the butt under the towel than the muscles in the back and shoulders, which remain untouched. The towel is removed and the subject turns over. The masseur kisses down his body to the cock. The masseur gets sucked too. A third joins them and gets fucked. (Apparently it takes three guys to fuck in Poland.) The original subject gets fucked too. This masseur obviously gives deep massages.

Three guys are sitting on a sofa drinking coffee and watching porn. This follows the pattern of the first scene except that the third guy is already there. Religious sounding music is played. Later a celestial chorus will join in. [?] In the movie they are watching, a cute youngster is riding his buddy’s cock and then sixty-nine. The choir continues chanting loudly as they fuck doggy. The three audience members get interested in one another rather than the movie. Cocks come out; clothes come off. Sucking begins. We then cut away to the movie on TV where the fucking segues to missionary and sixty-nine again. I want to get back to the three guys on the sofa who are the best looking guys in the film but the scene with the two in the movie on TV goes on and on and on. FINALLY, we return to the threesome. (These guys actually get hard when they are sucked.) While one is kneeling on the floor sucking his buddy on the sofa, a third gets behind the fellator and fucks him. The fucker and suckee then change positions. To say this was the best scene in the film is no great compliment.

This film reminds me of some early American porn where it was thought that it didn’t take much to make a fuck film so they didn’t bother. The sex is awkward and the videography and editing leave a lot to be desired. The direction is minimal. Of course porn is new to Poland and I’m sure that it will get better in time just as ours did. At the present, HORNY POLES 2 did little for this horny American.

The extras inlcude trailers that are almost as long as the film. They were actually the highlight of this DVD.