Hometown Hoochies Review

Running Time: 82 min.

Production Date: 4 / 2000

Director: Stefan Rossini

Cast: Shelbee Myne, Tasha Hunter, Gia, Jezaree, Cheyne Collins, Frankie, Julian St. Jox, Pat Myne, and Robby

Initial Expectations: For some reason, I’m not expecting much here.

Initial Reaction: I’m even more disappointed than I expected.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting to see every porno movie ever made

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting well done porn

Audio /Video Quality: The audio quality makes me think somebody thought they were building a masterpiece. Unfortunately, that masterpiece seems to be the house next door to where this movie was shot. There’s quite a bit of background noise during the outdoor scene, which makes me think there’s a reason most of it was shot indoors. If that isn’t enough, the audio is also poorly balanced and you can barely understand or hear the pointless dialogue. The video isn’t much better. It’s fairly clear, but there are frequent flashes of remnants and pink stripes throughout the entire feature. There’s also some uneven lighting and shakiness.

Music: None.

Menus: The menus are very simple. The main menu is unanimated and the chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a clip from the scene.

The Feature: You know there isn’t much effort put into a movie when they misspell the name of the feature at the start of the feature, but it at least prepares you for the movie’s quality right away. The scenes are all tied together with the mindblowing idea that a few guys like fucking the girls in town. If you plan on doing any thought beyond that, concentrate on things such as what kind of beer you should drink while watching it.

Jezaree, a cute dirty blonde with a large tattoo around her pierced navel, starts things out whining to boyfriend Robbie (I’m guessing here as to his name and pretty sure he’s a suitcase pimp from his looks) about having her feet rubbed. After a little dialogue that isn’t quite captured, she strips down and works on his limp cock with her mouth and pierced tongue. She gives him some great eye contact which I think is trying to say “Just how long do I have to suck you until you get hard?” and “It looks like that’ll have to do” before she arches her back while he licks her snatch. She looks around and at the cameraman a bit as he tongues her twat, no doubt hoping one of them will take him out and replace him until he decides to try and fuck her. They work through missionary, cowgirl, and doggy with Jezeree doing her best to make the scene work until they finish with a nice facial. She comes close, and makes it almost an average scene. It would have been better if they wouldn’t have looked confused a few times in the scene. Both Robbie and Jezeree acted like they were going to do one thing or another in the feature, and at the last moment stopped. Then again, I’m sure things like that happen quite a bit. It’s just in most features the editors pay attention and you don’t get to see it.

Tasha Hunter, a hot brunette with very nice funbags, takes Julian St. Jox and Frankie inside to start off the next scene. She sucks and strokes them both, but shows some definite preference for Julian who she lets fuck her first. She lets both guys fuck her pussy and ass, but also leaves the guy not fucking her to take care of himself much of the time. Tasha also takes a decent double penetration before finishing things up with a good double facial. It’s a pretty average scene that doesn’t look that well done. Some of the action looks staged for the camera rather than having actual penetration. Also, most of the double penetration is shown as a close-up rather than showing Tasha’s reaction to getting double dicked. It’s really too bad since I’ve seen Tasha and Julian do much better than this. In fact, this might be the worst scene I’ve seen either of them in.

After a little small talk, Gia, another cute brunette, attacks Cheyne Collins’ cock orally while making comments like “better than corn on the cob”. Cheyne laughs at the comment, but I think more than anything he was glad she didn’t start biting her way up and down the length of his cob. This is one of Gia’s earlier scenes (since she hasn’t had her boob job yet), and it’s rather obvious with how much she overdoes things. Cheyne eats her pussy and then fucks her while the camera shows us a close-up of her ass, which has so many pimples it almost looks like a poison ivy rash while she sees how much she can moan. They work through most of the standard positions before Cheyne sprays his milky goodness all over Gia’s face. It’s a scene that’s best watched with a good sense of humor. Gia overdoes almost everything so badly that the scene isn’t good for much outside of a laugh.

Finally real life couple Shelbee and Pay Myne get busy after some pointless dialogue. They exchange some oral favors, including rimming for both of them, and Pat gives Shelbee some energetic finger action to work all of her out. He moves on to give her a good fucking, but it’s held back from reaching it’s full potential by having a cameraman who seems to love his Ed Powers Patented Tripod and an editor who appears to determine when to change shots by when his egg timer goes off. It’s so bad that when Pat and Shelbee have stopped fucking for a few moments in the middle of the scene to talk about sex stuff, all you see is Pat’s still cock and Shelbee’s still ass and a sliver of Pat’s face. I have nothing against looking at Shelbee’s ass, since it’s a dang nice sight, and although I really don’t want to look at most porn studs’ faces in a scene, this seems pretty brainless during a dirty talk portion when they have such great chemistry together. Pat moves on to give Shelbee a good ass fucking before finishing things up with a facial. It’s easily the hottest scene in the movie and makes it just barely above average despite the lousy job by everybody except Pat and Shelbee.

Hometown Hoochies is easily skipped. The idea, which could have been fun if it was done right, is instead annoying. Sadly, most of the performances match the idea. Shelbee and Pat Myne turn out the best scene in the movie, and Jezeree also does a good job. Sadly, lackluster editing and camera work hold back even the best of the scenes and make this one to check out if you’re down to it or gay porn and all the gay porn is rented.

Extras: Bios are included for Tasha Hunter and Jezeree, neither of which really tell you much but let you know who she is with a photo. The photo gallery contains about forty one snapshots and full screen photos, most of which look very good. There’s also the standard assortment of trailers from the Pleasure family, website information, and phone sex commercials.

Themes: Straight, inter-racial, group, anal, DP, spanking, and rimming (male > female and female > male)

Raincoat Factor: High

Overall: Currently, Hometown Hoochies can be found online for between $11 and $24 with most stores offering it near the upper end. Rent this one rather than picking it up cheap unless you’re a very dedicated fan of one of the performers. Everything about this one is below average.

Note to Pleasure: It’s great that you want to make movies cheap so people can buy them, but most people I know will be willing to pay a couple more bucks to get a better DVD.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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