Heart Breaker (Vivid) Review

There are 10 scenes on this video. It's made of clips from other movies, though I don't know how old each of the individual scenes are. I recognize a few names like the "Where the Boys Aren't" series.

It stars Jenna Jameson, and when I picked it, I wanted to see more of her stuff. Back when I used to rent a lot of Vivid DVDs(the local store had an excellent collection of mainstream anime and a LOT of vivid DVDs), I had a MUCH higher desire to watch Celeste in basically anything I could find her in(Bedlam and Trouble Maker are the two movies that got me into porn, with Celeste's help. Bedlam was the first strap-on scene, and with her and Nikki Tyler, just...mmmm...Then Trouble Maker gave me Celeste in the first MMF threesome I liked), Julia Ann, Chasey Lain, soon Tia Bella, and on and on. Jenna Jameson was never my favorite, but I thought she was hot. A few months ago, there were some threads here on ADT, and a lot of talk about her retiring around a year ago, so when I saw a movie of hers, I was curious as to how I'd see her now after having a few years more porn watching experience.

I know Vivid's reputation for being predictable, cookie cutter, and so on. My expectations are limited, but I would really like to see some of her stuff. So, here goes nothing...

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Overall Opinion:

I wrote this after the movie was over, so you don't have to wade through my bad jokes and wordy descriptions for nothing. Hopefully you keep reading. I'm just starting to find places for humor, like my review of the seventh scene...Maybe the review will interest you. Just think, if I continue improving, one day you'll be able to tell I was joking without me pointing it out. Ahhh...the promise of a better future...

This movie wasn't worth the time I spent watching it. A few scenes were probably good in their original versions, but bad editing took it's toll. Other scenes were flawed from the jump-off...they can't be helped. The audio and video didn't seem up to some newer dvds either, but I believe a lot of these scenes were a little old. With some scenes lasting only a few minutes, and the rest lasting waaaaay longer than they should, I'd skip this one. I was surprised by how much girl/girl there was in this, but maybe that's because I'm not that familiar with Jenna's career. I didn't mind it. It was just more than I thought it would be. Then again, I never get tired of strap-on scenes.

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Scene 1 - "Jenna's Gallery Blue" with Dee, Jenna Jameson & Nicole Sheridan

It doesn't matter when the scene was made, last week or last decade, Dee is ALWAYS smokin hot to me. This scene is no exception. She's on the bed with Jenna and Nicole sheridan, with Dee's hair shorter than she's had it in any other scene I know of. The music that went through the scene combines with the makeup jobs, and gives this a feel like, oh I dunno, If the fembots from the first Austin Powers movie had an orgy before he joined the scene. I'm not the biggest fan of all-girl threesomes. It's not as intimate as a lesbian couples scene, and not as wild as if they had at least one cock to play with too. but this one works as a fun little scene. The bed is hanging from the ceiling, so they can swing it, and the girls have fun with this. All the oral, the makeup, the music...This scene feels a little campy and cheesy, but it was fun to watch.3.5 out of 5, as long as you like lesbian threesomes. Girls just seem to know what each other wants, and it makes for a scene that might not be wild, but is still oh so steamy, and sensual.

Scene 2 - "Photoplay" with Felecia, Jenna Jameson & Bobby Vitale

For me, Felecia is one of those girls whose name I knew but couldn't put a face to, another example being Draghixa. Well, I was impressed with her hotness in this scene. For the MFF threesome, theres a lot of assorted oral to start the scene. The trio switch between combinations, who's sucking whom, etc. Then Jenna's the first to get actual penetration with Vitale. I enjoyed the girls making out with each other through all the positions, but as the scene went on, you sorta figured that if great porn is a greasy spoon, or a home grilled burger, then this movie was shaping up to be a TGI Fridays burger. Not as disgusting as McDonalds, but not the real thing either. Also, the scene here in particular seemed too short.

Scene 3 - "Where the Boys Aren't #7" with Janine and Jenna Jameson

Janine has always been hot, but she was never my favorite from Vivid. Almost all the other blondes looked better to me, and a few of the redheads and brunettes too. Julia Ann was the hotter half to me, But I liked Janine enough. This scene though, there's not much to say about it. It's two hot chicks getting it on, but it's short, and doesn't seem as hot as it should, given how attractive Janine and Jenna are, and how I seem to remember both of them having a few scorching lesbian scenes. Maybe bad editing, but something was missing.

Scene 4 - "The New Devil In Miss Jones" with Jenna, Rachel Rotten & Savanna Samson

This scene worked okay. It had a bondage feel to it, but other than makeup, outfits and piercings, there was nothing to it. That small fetish element made the scene more enjoyable for me, and then they use a strap-on, and I enjoyed that more. Soon Savanna Sampson gets out of the shower where she was masturbating, and she watches the end of the scene through a window. Jenna gets a rubber dildo in her pussy from Rachel, and gives herself a glass one in the ass. A little too short again, because of editing I think, but the scene was better than the last.

Scene 5 - "Photoplay" with Ashlyn Gere, Jenna Jameson & Tom Byron

Jenna looks through photos until Ashlyn and Tom join the scene. There's a little conversation about landlords and rent, but we all know that's not the point. Soon the two girls are seducing each other and making out, and they look good doing it, in that 90's kind of way. Oral next, with them sucking Tom, then intercourse in a few different positions with both girls, including a sexy bit of doggiestyle with jenna bent over a stool with Ashlyn sucking her nipple. Then a cumshot on their faces/chests, and the scene is over.

Scene 6 - "Jenna Loves Kobe" with Jenna and Kobe Tai

Kobe Tai was attractive to me, and she's so skinny, it's good to watch her take big men, I guess like the way I look at Jenna Haze taking HUGE guys in anal scenes. Here, I liked seeing Jenna take her with a strap-on, and it seemed to me like Jenna was in control. I like strapon scenes, but if you don't, then this scene, and maybe this movie, isn't for you.

Scene 7 - "Where the Boys Aren't #14" with Briana Banks, Jenna Jameson, Raylene & Taylor Hayes

I'm writing this one in real time. Given that list of hotties, I'm hoping the scene is good, so here we go. We start in some kind of co-ed strip club, or poorly thought out skating rink, or some type of contest where the ambiguous guys have to 'out-girl' the ladies...think German techno-dancing guys in thongs...but enough humor. I am soldiering on, ignoring the fact that there are at least a handful of guys in a scene from a movie titled, "Where the Boys [b]AREN'T[/b]." On to the review...but seriously, the guys are complete with mesh vests and cages...and bad strobe lighting and cheesy music...okay, I'll stop laughing at the movie that prophetically predicted both Zoolander and Bruno...but seriously...okay, okay...soon we have Taylor Hayes getting her pussy licked. I'm writing this as the scene plays, but judging by who I saw, Raylene and Jenna not in it yet, That pretty blond with her face between Taylor Hayes' legs is Briana Banks. And yes, anytime Taylor hayes has anyone or anything between her legs, I pay attention. All four girls get into the act, and it looks sexy as hell...until the rest of the scene takes over again. In addition to people who don't like bad music, and people who don't like German guys dancing poorly in thongs, the other people who shouldn't watch this are people suffering from epilepsy. This won't cause an epileptic seizure...These strobe lights and bad camera flashes will cause an epileptic implosion. This scene is so bad that the only remains you'd leave would be an erection shaped black hole on your couch. Then your family would have to clean up your porn collection while convincing the neighbors that there's "nothing to see here."

As I thought about ways to describe how un-fun this was, the scene got a little better. Still not worth your time though, so please move on.

Scene 8 - "Where the Boys Aren't #17" With Jenna, Mercedez and Taya

Mercedez is hot. I've seen her in a few other things, if memory serves. Stuff like women in uniform, maybe? I think she usually goes by Nina Mercedez, but don't quote me. I haven't seen anything with her in it for a while. Taya looks good too. Slender, unlike Jenna and Mercedes who are both very curvy with big breasts. The attention they pay to Taya looks pretty good, with Jenna fingering Taya and herself while Mercedez plays with Taya's breasts. The lesbian action continues through a few different positions, with each girl getting her turn as the focus point. The scene was on an airplane or something like it, and if I can't take sleeping pills and aspirin to get comfy, this can't be as much as it looks, but I digress. The scene concludes later, and I thought it was a pretty good scene, though kinda short like the rest.

Scene 9 - "Starting Over" with Jenna Jameson & Bobby Vitale

This is a scene in a bathtub. There's conversation first, but then, with the miracle of televison, they are magically naked in the tub. RCG, a little doggie, and some sexy moaning follow. A couple other positions, then the cumshot lands on her waist. Decent, but nothing special, and edited to hell and back.

Scene 10 - "Where the Boys Aren't #16" with Jenna and Sunrise Adams

A dungeon maybe? some mesh lingerie type stuff, and some dark makeup. We see angels wings, but black so...demon wings? A lot of fingering and some hot lesbian action, including a nice part where Sunrise pulls Jenna's hand out and licks herself off the fingertips, then this scene ends too.

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Extras:

Just one called 'Vivid Products' and a few previes. They were ads for sex toys, other DVDs, etc. Some can be found on the website, or at 800-numbers, but there's nothing else. I know Vivid sometimes includes gag reels, etc, so I was a little disappointed. Some of the previews looked okay, including "Fade to Black II", which I had heard of before, but a lot of the previews failed to capture my interest.