Hard As Rock (Big Blue Productions) Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  8/24/2002

The cast is introduced by very artsy double exposures that play over an original song. This immediately clues us into to the fact that here is not another cranked out quickie but a film with which the director/producer/writer has taken great care.

When the film proper begins, Brad Rock—a hunk—drives up to his house. He has a copy of XXX Showcase, that he carries out by the pool. As he looks at the magazine, one of the pictures comes to life. Xavier, a cute Latino, is pulling down Rhett O’Hara’s briefs to get to the big dick therein. Xavier demonstrates his oral skills by going down on it. He is also adept at swallowing Rhett’s balls. Rhett is new to me. (His nom de porn is obviously derived from Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara.) He is a sexy guy with scads of colorful tattoos and some in the making that actually add to his appeal rather than detract. He’s a pretty good cocksucker, too. [We cut back to Brad, and see that he’s getting into this. He unzips his pants.]

Back to the scene. Xavier is now deep-throating Rhett’s big rod. Now he’s rimming him and going to work on those balls again. Rhett then eats Xavier’s ass. He is quite expert at it. Xavier is loving it. Rhett’s cock slides into Xavier with ease. When Xavier shoots, he eats his own cum. This was a super first scene!

Brad decides it’s time for a swim to cool off. He strips. It’s a nice body, and it’s an even nicer cock. After a brief swim, he lies on a raft and muses about how “it” all began. (In other words, how a formerly straight guy discovered he was interested in sex with men.) We flash back to when he was in prison. Having been allowed a punching bag in his cell, he is pummeling it. His cellmate, Jason Hawke watches. Brad asks Jason to hold the bag for him. When Brad is asked why he is in prison, he tells Jason that he was in the army and was caught fucking a shoeshine boy. Afterwards, Jason says, “You’re all sweaty, would you like me to towel you off?” “You’re not a fag, are you?” Brad asks. “Hell, no!” Jason replies and proceeds to show considerable interest in Brad’s groin. “Why don’t you suck my dick?” Brad suggests.” "Sounds good,” Jason replies and proceeds to chow down. (Hell, no, I’m not a fag; I just like to suck dicks.) “Why don’t you eat my ass?” Brad then suggests. “OK,” Jason replies without hesitation. (Hell, no, he’s not a fag; he just likes to eat male ass with his pierced tongue.) Before long Jason is on his hands and knees on the bunk and Brad is entering his ass. Then Jason is sitting on it and riding it for all he’s worth. (“Hell, no, I’m not a fag; I just like to sit on big dicks.) The camerawork has been superb throughout this film, and the high angle shot of Jason riding that big dick was too much for me.

Some time later when I was able to resume, Jason was still riding that dick, his own uncut cock flopping freely about. Both now shoot their loads. (I already had earlier.)

Brad, still floating in the pool, remembers that gym guy who used to come over and work out. This is the very muscular Scott Gunz from the DVD cover. He does a quick workout and posing session. He talks to the camera as though talking to Brad. This is not the usual awkward improvised chatter; it’s a good spiel—it’s a very good spiel. My, but that hunk can talk as he jacks off. It’s a great solo.

“No”, Brad muses on his raft, “it started that time in the army.” We now flash back to Brad on his army cot, writing a letter to his wife. The thought of her makes him horny, and he is playing with his cock when Private Jeremy Jordan enters to give him that shoeshine. Jeremy is enticed into giving Brad head. Jeremy is actually able to deep-throat this monster! Next, he gets Jeremy to eat his ass. (This follows exactly the same procedure of the jail scene. But since this scene supposedly occurred first, I guess the jail scene parallels it. In any case, this appears to be Brad’s modus operandi.) With Jeremy tonguing his ass, Brad is in ecstasy. “I’m gonna fuck you like I fuck my wife,” he tells the young private. But first he proceeds to open him up with an enormous—and I mean enormous—black dildo. (What ‘s a supposedly straight soldier doing with this? Is it now essential military equipment?) He really reams Jeremy with this imposing instrument and has him begging for cock. Jeremy is “hard as a rock” as he sits on Brad to ride this fleshy replica of the Washington monument. The scene is not as hot as the jail scene it parallels, but it’s still a another damn hot scene. Brad jacks Jeremy off, and Jeremy shoots a gusher. Brad discharges, too. Then they are caught and Brad is discharged from the army.

Still reminiscing on the raft, Brad thinks further back to school—wrestling, the showers—and coach bawling him out. Blue Blake does a Hitchcock cameo here as the coach. The coach blames Brad’s failure on the mat to those cheerleaders that he’s shagging. Ordering him to stay away from those cheerleaders he sends him to the showers. The coach now summons a fellow wrestler, Sean Storm, and tells Sean to join Brad in the showers and get his mind off those cheerleaders.

Rock showers as the camera pans lovingly over his body. Sean brings him a towel and leans forward as though to kiss him. “What are you doing?” Brad wonders briefly before going along with the kiss. Sean licks his way down Brad’s torso and onto his dick. “Oh,” Brad sighs, “to Hell with those cheerleaders, I like YOU.” It’s another super scene; again with great camera angles. The camera is always at the right place at the right time in every scene and it never dawdles long enough for us to tire of the view. At the conclusion of their fuck on the bench by the lockers, Brad cums in Sean’s mouth and Sean sucks the scummy cock clean! Now that’s a finale!

Back on the raft, Brad says, “That’s it!” rushes out of the pool, dials up his cell phone and says, “Joey, I’d like to fuck you after all.” Brad’s come to terms with his gayness and we’ve cum a lot too.

This is the best Big Blue Production I’ve seen thus far. As a producer, Blue Blake goes all out with nice sets, original music, and good performers. As a director he gives us a good story line, believable performances, and great sex. He also has great videographers in Drew Warner and Andre Adair. They really don’t come much better than this film. It is definitely one you’ll want to add to your collection. You may not have a cock as big as Brad Rock, but if you’re not “hard as rock” when you watch this, it might be time to consider Viagra.