Hand Job Hunnies Review

Reviewed by Diville  on  9/27/2000

Starring: Amia More, Chenin Blanc, Devon Shire, Emilia, Heaven Leigh, Jennifer Leigh, Kristen, Lola, Mariah, McKayla,Natasha Blake, Shelbee Myne, Violet Love, Cheyenne Silver, Wendi Knight

Directed By: Michael Adams

Ever feel like something different? Of course you do; we all do. How else can you explain the success of vinegar flavored potato chips and the Chrysler PT Cruiser? The same sense of adventure (or, maybe boredom) that brought us these slightly different products, brings us Hand Job Hunnies. That's right, a DVD with nothing but hand jobs. The Citizen Kane of jack-off flicks. Actually, it's the only wall to wall boy/girl masturbation movie I've seen, but that's not to say it can't be a classic. Well, before we go any further understand that Hand Job Hunnies is not exactly a classic, but it is pretty good.

I've never understood why some pursue the hand job like the rest of us might work toward something along the lines of actual sex...or free hockey tickets. After all, we can give ourselves hand jobs. If it weren't for the necessity to type, I could be giving myself a hand job right now. And I know exactly how I like it done. What, then, is the appeal of a DVD where all the girls do is jack off some faceless men? To be honest with you, I'm not sure. Still, it's kind of appealing.

There are fifteen scenes here with fifteen women, and if you expect to find fifteen wildly different techniques to make a dick blow its load, think again. Mankind was introduced to masturbation the very same year it discovered the erection, and the basic principle hasn't changed since. Stroke it long enough, and suddenly you won't feel the need to stroke it anymore. So, instead of different techniques, you find different attitudes. Lola, for example, accompanies her hand job with some nice dirty talk. Wendi Knight, who I would go so far as to label "my type," smiles the whole time evidently enjoying this more than anything else she could be doing on the afternoon her scene was shot. Cheyenne Silver, though enthusiastic, approaches the task at hand with a certain detachment that makes me think she is completely aware of how absurd this all is. If that's the case, then she'd be right; it is absurd. A hand job is really nothing more than foreplay performed either too well or for too long.

So, why did I dig this DVD? It's different, yes, but more importantly it does 15 times in a row what most pornos don't even do once. It shows the girl getting the guy off. Too often, we see the actor fuck the actress for 15 minutes, pull out, and jerk off for another 60 seconds until he can deliver the pop shot. Here, the girls do all the work. They take control and they determine when an how the guy is going to finally get off. That's what I found most appealing. Occasionally, though briefly, mouths are put to use either directly or indirectly with a little nasty verbiage. Also, I'm a proponent of the facial and almost every scene ends with one. This, too, illustrates my point. These are not scenes with guys jerking off on women's faces; these are scenes with women jerking guys off into their own mouths. So, you've got that working for you, too, if that's your bag.

This is as good a DVD as you can expect given it's hand job conceit. The video looks as good as the original video tape would allow it, and for those who want to pick up the subtle aural nuances of masturbation, you'll be pleased to know it's been mastered in Dolby Stereo. There's a photo gallery present for the few who actually look at them. Also, as with any Metro DVD, the flip side of the disc contains a pretty sizable catalogue of previews from other titles.