H2O Oh Oh Oh Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  9/8/2004

NOTE: This is an amateur video. Amateur and homemade movies don’t have the budget nor the resources of studio porn, and therefore rarely get close to the same quality technically. I’m rating this DVD on the same scale, but most homemade or amateur features would rarely make it above a 3 on the standard scale I use for studio porn for their technical aspects. The performers also aren’t normally the ‘glamour stars’ one expects from studio porn, and instead use people who look like somebody you might encounter in your day to day life. Finally, the camera work has a different feel, as it’s often shot from a tripod or with somebody who doesn’t have the technical training or experience of professional cameramen. That said, amateur and homemade features have a great charm to them, simple because the people in them are doing what they’re doing to have fun and because they enjoy it. All the things that separate them from studio porn contribute to that charm, I hope people will keep that in mind when checking out this review and not just look at the ratings as the ultimate word on this release. Since the technical aspects are normally lacking and there normally isn’t much for extras in amateur features, I’ve weighted my overall rating more heavily towards the sex than I do in most studio porn.

NOTE: Being a smaller studio with complete control of their product from the filming of the scenes right through the distribution of the DVDs, Pixies Emporium sometimes tweaks their DVDs in order to make corrections or improvements. If you pick up this DVD, it might be slightly different than what I review here.

The Little Details

Running Time: 88 min.

Production Date: 200 - 2003

Director: None credited

Cast: There aren’t any credits, but it includes Mandi*, Alex, and a bunch of other people

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: The DVDs from Pixie’s Emporium have had a few problems, but they’ve had such a great spirit to them that I can’t help but look forward to them.

Initial Reaction: It’s one of the weaker movies I’ve seen from Pixie’s Emporium, but still has some nice moments.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting sex with plenty of chemistry and a fun feel trying something different

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody looking for nastier sex or who wants a pop shot at the end of every scene

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are very, well, amateurish. There’s a few balance problems and plenty of background noises, but you can still hear the performers pretty well over the noises. That said, there are a few areas where it doesn’t appear that there’s much audio of any kind. The video looks very nice for an amateur movie. Yes, there’s plenty of camera shake, but it’s also very nicely lit and has very little grain. Perhaps the most impressive thing is that the underwater sequences are actually clear. Even when the camera comes above water you can still see things pretty well.

Music: There’s a little of Take Me To The River during the opening, as well as between scenes. During the sex, however, there’s no music.

Disc Complaints: There’s a watermark in the lower right corner. I know some people don’t care for them, but it’s done right here. It’s very light and stays in one place so it’s easy to phase out. On a better note, Pixie’s Emporium has recently announced that they’re redoing their DVDs to get rid of the watermarks since people have let them know how much they dislike them.

Menus: The menus are nicely done. The main menu is fairly simple, but also fun and includes a few small clips from the movie. The chapter menu is also a lot of fun, an definitely helped set a great first impression.

The Feature

H2O Oh Oh Oh goes with a vignette style for the movie. There’s never anything close to a plot, and the only thing connecting the scenes are water. It cuts from scene to scene, all of which revolve around water, and break things up with a few short clips of Mandi*.

Scene 1 - Two Brunettes

Things start out on a boat with two brunettes, one with her hair down and the other with her hair in braids, wearing only life jackets. They move the life jackets aside so they can suck each other’s tits. Braids makes her way down to tongue her partner’s shaven slit before moving around to get a little tongue action in return. They move on to share a double dildo before kissing as the scene comes to a close.

This is an okay little scene. The girls are both very cute and very fresh. They seem a little unsure of themselves at times, but also look like they’re having fun. You can tell that they’re playing to the camera a little, but it’s done in such a fun way that I really didn’t care too much. The worst thing about this scene is that the editing is a bit rough and choppy, and there’s a few things left in that seem like they should have been cut out. At the same time, there’s a few fun things such as the boat rocking and throwing the girls off balance that you get to see here that you wouldn’t normally see. This is a fun and enjoyable scene.

Scene 2 - A redhead and a brunette guy

When her boyfriend finds her laying out by the pool, he decides to help her out by rubbing a little oil on her. He sits behind her and makes sure he gets every nook and cranny before they hop into the pool. They splash each other a few times before kissing, and the girl quickly moves up onto the ladder so her man can tongue her both from the front and behind as well as underwater. She sucks his cock in return as he sits on the ladder before jumping up with him and riding him cowgirl style. They slide down into the water by the edge and try fucking in a few different positions before going out in the middle to fuck a bit. They slowly fuck their way out of the pool before finishing things up with a little sixty-nining, a little more oral for the chick, and a little more missionary. Sadly, there’s no pop here and they walk to the end of the pool, kiss, and jump in.

This is another pretty good scene. I love how they blend in plenty of underwater sequences, and they all work very nicely. My only real complaint here, other than not having a pop at the end of the scene, is that the scene seems a little long and could have probably used another edit.

Scene 3 - A brunette and two guys

Things move to the hot tub next where a cute brunette takes on two guys who are well tattooed below the belt. She moves up to bounce on the one with a stubbly face reverse cowgirl style while the one with a goatee watchers them. She gives him a little sucking before turning around so he can fuck her while the stubbly guy strokes himself. They keep trading back and forth, and the stubbly guy appears to give the chick a pop in the mouth. They keep going (after a short break I’m assuming due to the edit) with the goatee dude fucking her from behind while she continues to suck the stubbly guy. The scene finally ends before the guy pops.

This scene didn’t do a lot for me. The girl is cute, but both of the guys were anything but what I want to see in porn when I have to look at the guys. I also had a hard time getting into it since basically the whole scene was doggie style, and I like more positions in my scenes than this. I could have easily done without this scene, although I would like to see a bit more from the chick.

Scene 4 - Two brunettes

When a brunette finds her friend laying out by the pool, she decides to have a little fun with her. She swims over and licks her pussy before they head to the stair end so that her friend can give her a little in return. She shows her how to blow bubbles on her underwater and then lays back to enjoy the reciprocation. In addition to a little tongue, her friend gives her a bit of double dildo action. She insists that her friend join her on the other end, but is content to lay back and take it when they have a few problems. They finally get it under control and the scene fades out with them sharing the toy.

This is a much nicer scene, and one that I really enjoyed. There’s plenty of chemistry and the girls are cute. Once again you can tell they’re having a lot of fun, and it makes the scene worthwhile because of it. The camera work seems a little weaker here, mostly because it was a little more limited than I think it could or should have been.

Scene 5 - Mandi* and Alex

After Mandi finishes her watering between scenes, she hops into the shower with Alex. They don’t waste much time getting each other ready to go orally, and get right down to business fucking standing up in the shower. They move from fucking facing each other to Mandi* bending over and letting Alex take her from behind. They take a couple breaks to mix in some oral fun before the scene fades out with Alex taking Mandi* from behind.

This is another decent scene. It has a very fun feeling, partially due to Alex looking like he has some problem aiming when Mandi*’s bent over in front of him. I would have liked a pop at the end of the scene, but couldn’t be completely disappointed by it just because Mandi* and Alex looked like they were having so much fun.

H2O Oh Oh Oh is an okay amateur movie. At the end of the movie I was left with the thought that this seems to be one of the best amateur movies I’ve seen for showing the good and bad of amateur porn. For the good, there’s real people in it that you can relate to, even if they might not be just what you want to see getting their groove on. There’s also plenty of chemistry, as well as actual laughing. There aren’t a lot of times when you see somebody phoning in a performance or looking like they’re just there for the check. With amateur movies the people normally look like they’re having fun, and for me that carries them well past some of the bad. For the bad, there’s the camera work (much of the time). That’s not always true, and this one’s no different. The camera work is fairly hit or miss here, but it looks like there’s only one camera at work here. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and often adds charm to the scenes. Finally, you don’t always get a good pop. That’s the biggest problem with H2O Oh Oh Oh for me. I would have liked at least one good pop, and instead there was one minor pop. Normally this list would be some of my general thoughts on amateur porn, but H2O Oh Oh Oh summed it up so well that it came pouring out here.

There’s a part of me that wants to focus on the faults of this one, but I just can’t. Part of it is that anybody who’s tried sex in a pool knows that popping isn’t always that easy, and there’s always that shrinkage factor to contend with. The camera work has its problem, but you can tell they tried a few things to get the best possible shots, such as going around in a rubber raft in the pool to get behind the action. There’s a lot of fun happening throughout the movie, and I really like how Pixie’s Emporium decided to try to do something different here by mixing in several underwater shots. The underwater shots worked much better than I expected, and I think their taking the risk and how it worked out helped H2O Oh Oh Oh eek its way to a little above average.

The Extra Stuff

The photo gallery lasts about four and a half minutes with roughly three seconds per slightly below average to nice looking screen capture. There’s also a message from Pixie’s spokes-superbabe Mandi* and a minute preview of the movie. It’s not much, but it’s more effort than I see most amateur movies put into their extras.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, lesbian, toys, and group

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many DVDs from Pixie’s Emporium can be found online for around $13. This one leaves me a bit torn. I like how Pixie’s took a few risks here, but the sex is a little weaker than I normally expect from them. They also put some nice effort into the technical aspects and the extras. I don’t know that I’d pay this price for just this title, but I would be tempted by it when it was on sale or in a box set.

Note to Pixie’s Emporium: Thank you. It’s nice to see somebody try something different now and then, even if it doesn’t work out the best. It’s also really great to see the effort you’ve put into your DVDs to improve them. You put a smile on my face right away when I checked out the menus here just by letting them be fun and original. I know that there’s some faults here, but the most important thing is that after watching a few of your DVDs you can tell that you care about improving your product and are willing to see where you can. For that, I can’t help but say thank you. It looked like there were plenty of fun outtakes here. In the future, it might be nice to see some of them as an extra.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight