Glazed and Confused 4 (Elegant Angel) Review

Director

William H.

Cast

Angela Stone, Deja Daire, Megan, Mika Tan, Persia, Tiana Lynn, Kyle Stone, Brian Surewood, Wesley Pipes, and a few other nameless guys.

Genre

Blowjobs, Facials

Condoms

None

Female Orgasms

None

THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT

Those who love facials--and I mean forehead-coated, dripping down the cheeks and lips, make-a-fuckin'-mess facials.  None of that swallowing crap.

THOSE WHO SHOULD STEER CLEAR

Those who want to see a lot of actual sex, those who don't like gag and spit oriented energetic blowjobs, and those who are easily offended by name calling, or who don't have a politically incorrect sense of humor.

REVIEWER'S DISCLAIMER REGARDING ELEGANT ANGEL:
Over the period of December 5th through December 8th, 2002, Mrs. MLyons (my wife), Speelie (another ADT reviewer) and I were the guests of Patrick Collins and Elegant Angel.  We spent time visiting their facilities and giving them feedback from the consumer's point of view about their adult video content--especially as it related to their DVDs.  This was a singular opportunity for me and in the process I was fortunate enough to meet several of Elegant Angel's directors (including William H.), administrative personnel, and even some of the talent that they employ.  Conversely, they were able to get feedback from three fairly representative porn fans in order to improve their product.  This disclaimer is offered to the reader as a warning about any possible bias either for or against Elegant Angel that I might exhibit in my reviews subsequent to this visit.  I will, of course, make every effort to remain as true to my gut feelings as possible, but in the interest of full disclosure, I feel that this disclaimer is necessary.

REVIEW:
William H. is truly a Nutsack--er... nut--and I mean that in the most complimentary way.  He's as hysterical in person as his movies suggest, and yet he has a serious, quiet way about him that makes him very approachable to talk to.  I have to admit I haven't watched many of his movies, and this will be the first one in a very long time.  What draws me to this particular one is not only his truly perverted outlook, and his sense of humor, but also well... the eye-candy and performance stylings of Tiana Lynn and Missy Monroe.  Add to that the theme of plastering a woman's face with man-cum, and I just can't resist.  I don't know what it is about facials.  Well, actually I do have some theories, but I don't actually care to analyze it too much.  I just know I enjoy them, and that is ultimately what Glazed and Confused is all about.  The title sounds derogatory, but it's easy to tell, the minute you stick the disc in the player and hear William H. singing his self-composed theme-song for the movie, that he's really just trying to have some fun with porn's self-deprecating nature.  The music is funny.  The set-ups are funny, and yet William H. gives you the nasty stuff where it counts, and I'm not kidding.  Another thing I particularly admire about William H. is his skill as a still photographer.  The man knows how to shoot box covers, and I would venture to say that almost for that reason alone, he's one of the most valuable additions to Elegant Angel in the last 5 years.  Now, if I can just get through this review without getting that damn theme song stuck in my head, I'll be doin' pretty good...

UNIFORM BABE
Tiana Lynn, Kyle Stone and 2 other guys.

I just find Tiana crazy-sexy, but I think I've made my feelings on that matter quite clear in the past, so I'll shut up about it.

...

EXCEPT to say this:  Tiana's tease sequence here is, for me, easily as nice as the blowjob action itself.  I love her face, I love her breasts, I love her legs and well, honestly it doesn't take much more than me looking at her to get me precipitously excited.  

Anyway, she plays a jail guard here, with authority over three prisoners.  She enjoys teasing them and makes some amusing threats with her gun before finally allowing them to, you know... use her mouth as a sperm vacuum.  I'm not complainin' too much.  This scene is pretty dynamic considering its limited focus.  Tiana has them get into a few different positions, and one of them involved her giving some hyper-enthusiastic rim jobs to all three of the men before the face painting ensues.  And make no mistake--Tiana's gorgeous face covered in cum is not something to be missed for sicko Tiana-Pervs (tm) like me.  Tiana is very energetic, and for some I know that her energy will be too much.  Even I'd classify it that way at times, if I wasn't so blindly infatuated with her.  Anyway, after she gets her face spermified, she leans back on a cot and gets herself off with a squirting orgasm all over the mattress.  She tells the guys they'll have to sleep on her leavings now, and exits stage left.  This is a great scene for Tiana lovers who enjoy facials.  For those who like a little more restraint in the showy-ness of their porn, this might not quite do the trick.  Ah well.  More Tiana for me.  You guys don't deserve her anyway.  :)

Tiana Lynn Video Captures
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RACE RIOT
Missy Monroe, Wesley Pipes and 2 other black guys.

This is the kind of scene that makes William H. worth watching. I found this to be fucking hysterical. It starts out with a somewhat crazed, and totally over the top man in full KKK regalia watching something on the television--remote in hand. He's practically dancing on the couch, giddily espousing the merits of Robert E. Lee and the South--complete with a tiny confederate flag and beer bottles on the table in front of him. Missy, meanwhile, is in the other room, looking fantastic in a little cheerleader uniform while she applies makeup to her lips. Her father yells from the other room, asking where she thinks she's going as he gleefully continues randomly extolling the icons of confederate culture. She says she's going to a friend's house. He encourages her to be back at the proper time--"good ol' southern time" he calls it, and at this point I'm pretty much in hysterics. It's just so wonderfully over the top and satirically wacky, I can't help myself. Missy rolls her eyes in annoyance and reassures her dad that she'll stay out of trouble. The words "15 minutes later" appear on the screen, and the next image we see in Missy on her hands and knees rimming a black man's ass.

Fuckin' funny. That's all I have to say.

Beyond that, though, this is a freakin' crazy blowbangin' interracial scene, with more throat goo and spit absolutely covering Missy's gorgeous face and tits than you can shake a stick at. Wesley Pipes is the primary talker in this scene, and his over the top antics make me laugh as much as anything else. I know that some people hate him, but I've always found him rather funny. I really enjoyed the non-politcally correct humor alongside some truly nasty-ass sexual psychosis. By the time it's over, Missy is practically unidentifiable behind a thick, goo-ridden layer of drool-cum, and make all the judgments you want about me or William H., but I fucking came too, big time. This is just sick and wrong, and I loved every second of it! It's William H. at his nasty, humor-driven best--and Missy ain't too shabby either.

Missy Monroe Video Captures
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TEEN DREAM
Angela Stone, Brian Surewood and 3 other guys.

Angela is a cute blonde who's playing with her miniature dollies.  One of them (the dollies that is) evidently wants to eat out Angela's pussy.  Angela calls the dolly dirty names, but nevertheless gives the plastic toy what she wants.  She uses another doll to "stimulate" her nipple for a while, and just when the joke starts to get stale, Angela tosses the dolls away and masturbates herself to a couple of high volume, squirt-laden climaxes.  After that, four guys come in, and most of what was interesting about the scene sort of drains away into average blowjob fair--well until the cum-coated climax that is.  I'm just such a sucker for messy facials, and so far this disc satisfies that little perversion with flair.  Anyway, Angela herself isn't particularly enthralling in this scene, but it's got all the obligatory action and messiness to get the job done for the "cock-suck 'n' facial" crowd.

Angela Stone Video Captures
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LATINO HEAT
Megan, Kyle Stone, & 3 Other Guys.

This is a relatively short scene by comparison.  Megan is, I believe, Mexican, and she's very pretty with straight black hair down to her shoulders and a tight little body.  She speaks Spanish throughout the scene, and one of the male perps acts as a translator.  Of course, she doesn't have a whole lot more constructive to say than "cum on my face", but then again, I suppose that's enough sometimes.  She sucks their cocks and licks their balls, and by the end she has a gooey helping of man-seed applied to her visage.  In all, a rather lovely picture, but the scene on the whole is nothing particularly spectacular. 

Megan Video Captures
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GOTHIC WHORE
Deja Daire, Brian Surewood, Kyle Stone and 2 other guys.

Deja is quite pretty, I think. The only thing really goth about her is the dark lipstick, which, of course, by the end of the scene is pretty well washed off in a flood of spit and cum. In any case, I rather liked this scene, and the way she looked in it. There was some actual sex between her and Biran Sureweood which helped contribute a little more interest to the otherwise strict blowjob theme. It's a messy scene, and unfortunately includes a bit of choking as well, for those who don't like that kind of thing. Even if my brain objects to the choking, my hard on liked pretty much everything I saw here--what'r'y'gonna'do? The best part, of course "cums" at the end, with Deja's pretty face getting pretty well hosed with the guys' leavings. So nasty. So wrong. But yet... so perfect.

Deja Daire Video Captures
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SHADES OF BLACK AND WHITE
Persia, Kyle Stone, & 3 other guys

Persia is a pretty black lady, and has partially dyed her hair a lovely shade of purple.  I kinda like it actually, and she has a nice smile.  Her boobies are a tad on the deflated side, but she has a big round butt that easily balances them out.  She services four guys' cocks with her mouth and throat in a very "just-this-side-of-gagging" way.  There's not much more to say than that, except that Persia showed some good energy, taking most of the throat-stuffing initiative herself.  It's certainly not any more of a dynamic scene than a blow-bang like this is really capable of being, but Persia does end up plenty glazed by the time it's all over.  Forehead to chin, she is covered with cum, and leaves us with a pretty smile to remember her by.

Perisa Video Captures
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FORTUNE NOOKIE
Mika Tan, Kyle Stone, Brian Surewood & 2 Other Guys

Mika is quite attractive, with a damn cute little smile and some substantial titties for her petite frame.  She also has a great, go get 'em attitude that really brings a lot of fun to this scene.  I have to admit, though, that at times her fun-loving "party" vibe sometimes got to be a bit much for me.  I don't know.  It's a fine line to walk when you're doing a gag-throating multiple blowjob, and the vibe is one that, while light and fun, seems somehow antithetical to the whole idea of what's being presented.  I found Missy's scene much more effective in this regard, for whatever reason. I have no doubt that for some people, this will really work, but Mika just had a few too many hammy, cliche-ridden antics for my liking.  Mika does actually get fucked a little in this scene, and there's a strange moment where she asks William H. whether this is just a blowjob scene or a gang-bang.  It's all handled in good fun, and some people will really enjoy the brief reality of that moment, but again, it somehow got my mind going in directions that I wasn't prepared for, and softened my cock a tad as a result.  In any case, the unpredictability was as much a strength as it was a weakness, and true to form, by the time it's over, Mika's face is plenty covered in jizz.  When it comes to an ending like that, I can't find too much to complain about.

Mika Tan Video Captures
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EXTRAS:
There is an extra, full length blow-bang scene with a large titted girl who starts out by giving a brief blowjob to an older, grandfatherly type gentleman.  That is short lived, though and she meets four guys so that she can do what the rest of the girls on the disc did.  She's not near as pretty to me as any of the other girls on the disc, which is perhaps why she was relegated to the extras menu, but rest assured she's a similarly sweaty, spitty, cum soaked mess by the time it's all over.  In addition, there's a brief scene with Missy who fingers herself to a couple small squirts before Brian Surewood walks in wearing some diapers.  Yes... I said diapers.  She gives him a hard, gaggy blowjob, she gets fucked, and it all has a terribly perverted, dirty feel about that I have to admit--works.  You get the sense that Missy is the most perverted one there, and that's what I most liked about it.  A behind the scenes segment gives us a peek at William H. in his directing element, complete with the stares the girls give him when he tells them to do all this crazy shit.  It's pretty fun, and to round it all out, there's a couple trailers and a photo gallery as well.  You know what I kind of wished there was though?  I wish there was a cumshot recap.  Of all the discs I'd like to see that feature on, this would be an ideal one.  Ah well.  You can't have it all I s'pose.  Finally there is an easter egg on the disc, but truthfully, it's not really anything house-quaking.

OVERALL:
::humming indistinctly::

This was a fun disc.  I enjoyed it for pretty much all the reasons I cited in the introduction.  The facials are truly spectacular, all the girls are damned pretty, and a couple of scenes really stood out from the crowd despite the somewhat limited theme of the movie.  I really enjoyed Tiana and Missy's work, and their scenes were probably the most dynamic of the bunch.  Deja Daire looked wonderful getting her goth makeup systematically removed by the four guys who face fucked her, and the other girls put some decent performances together as well.  I didn't much care for the hammy humor of Mika Tan, but I know others will probably enjoy it quite a bit, and she did look quite pretty.  Anyway, there's not much more to say than that.  William H. brings a unique strangeness to the movies he directs, in much the same way that Joey Silvera does the same for his own movies.  Although Joey, in many ways, is quite a bit more consistent in the quality of his output, I really love William H.'s willingness to try new things.  It's funny, perverted, sick and wrong--all at the same time, and in all of the best ways.  

Well...  I'm off...

::singing offhandedly:: They're going to be Glazed and Connn-fused...  FOUR.  

::Rockin' out now::  GLAAAAZED And Connn-fused FFOOOUUUR.  

Damn you William H!!!

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at MLyons@my.adultdvdtalk.com


Other Adult Movie Reviews by Mike Lyons