Freaky First Timers: Best Of Freaks Review

Reviewed by Captain Tight Pants  on  12/2/2009

Best of Freaks

Brief Synopsis

This is a two-disc set with ten scenes. It’s a compilation of the best scenes from Freaky First Timers 1 – 6. However, I’m not so sure they really picked out the best scenes. There are some notably good scenes missing. Freaky First Timers are girls who are supposedly appearing in a video for the first time. I guess the freaky part has to do with the way the male talent fucks the girl. There is a lot of spitting, slapping, and choking in this movie. Some of the scenes include anal. The director/cameramen almost ruins some of the scenes with their stupid comments, questions and directions. However, I like to see fresh faces and there are a lot of them on these two discs. A lot of the girls’ performances are pretty hot despite the worst efforts by the male talent and the directors. 

Overall: B-

 

Introduction

The first Freaky First Timers was put out by Hush Hush and directed by Zulu Royale. Freaky First Timers 2, 3 and 4 were directed by Destradamus and was put out by Freaky Deaky, which I guess is a sister company of Hush Hush. Jonalungus directed Freaky First Timers 5. Freaky First Timers 6 has Destradamus back as its director. Then Freaky First Timers 7 is distributed by Voodoo House and has Jonalungus as the director. The Best of Freaks is a compilation of the previous six films and it’s distributed by Voodoo House. I wonder if there is an interesting back-story explaining all the changes. Then again it might not mean anything. The Freaky First Timers franchise is a web site, directing and distributing the films might just be secondary.

Another interesting point is that this “Best Of” release is two discs with ten scenes. The previous six films contained thirty scenes. So one third of the scenes went into the “Best of” compilation. That’s like a band putting out a “Best Of” after just two albums. Not only that, but some of the most notable actresses, the ones who became the most famous later, are conspicuously absent from this release.

Freaky First Timers theme is girls who appear on video for the first time and are willing to get freaky. There are lots of other videos that promote their scenes as girl’s first times. It’s best to suspend your disbelief when watching these. However, I wonder why they choose the adjective freaky. What’s so freaky about these first timers? Maybe it’s just for the alliteration. The only thing I could discern that separates this title from other first time videos is the male talent is more abusive in these scenes. There is slapping, spitting, choking and name-calling. Some of the scenes have anal. I guess that’s the freaky part for these first timers.

The girls put on a good performance in spite of the male talent and director. In my opinion, the scenes with Destradamus directing the action were almost ruined by his stupid comments. The male talent also did very little to improve the scene. I would think that if the girl was truly a first timer, the director and actor would work to make it a little easier for the girl and help usher her through this new experience and not ask a bunch of stupid questions and put them through a bunch of uncomfortable situations. I mean really, what’s the benefit of tying up a girl in Christmas lights or screwing her on a washing machine that’s running?

I haven’t seen all the other Freaky First Timers videos. But I can’t help but doubt that these are the best scenes from those discs. There aren’t any scenes from number 7. However, number 7 is the one that’s distributed by Shane’s World, so maybe they don’t have rights to that one.  But they also left out Sasha Grey from #2, Christine Aguchi from #3, Lorena Sanchez, and Bobbi Starr from #6.

Production

Most of the sets are in a studio with colorful walls and simple furniture. The lighting, the audio and the video quality are all excellent. There is no music in any of the scenes. The music played during the title screen is really annoying. No special effort is made in the makeup, hair, or wardrobe department. I imagine the girls just went on with whatever they brought. The menus are easy to use. The scene selections are titled with the girl’s names. There are plenty of chapter markers for each scene.

Disc One

Running time is approximately 3 hours

Sex Scenes

Sex Scene 1 – Brandy Lace

Approximately 38 minutes

This scene is from FFT #3. Destradamus is the director and James Deen is the male talent. My first impression of Brandy is that she is not pretty enough to be a porn star. According to IAFD she went to make 20 titles and this movie was made during her first year so it’s possible it’s her first video. As I discussed in the introduction, Destradamus and James Deen almost ruin this scene with their disrespectfulness and abusive behavior. I have to give credit to Brandy for saving this scene. Her willingness to accept their bullshit is remarkable.

The scene takes place on a set with minimal bedroom furniture. Brandy is sort of cute, but flabby with small breasts. She starts off in a white blouse and a denim skirt. She strips down and sucks a dildo/strap on. James immediately pumps her from behind and then fucks her face. She does a good job of taking his dick. James puts her in pile driver position. He face fucks her. She deep throats him. James fucks her in doggy, then mish, spoon, fingering, cowgirl, and RCG. James fucks her standing up against a wall, then from behind, before he cums on her face. There is also lots of cock sucking, face fucking, slapping, spitting, choking, and playing with the strap on throughout.

Brandy does a great job of accepting the abuse, taking the cock, and asking for more throughout the scene. The scene ends with a big smile on her face.

Sex Scene 2 – Jaylynn Sinns

Approximately 30 minutes

This scene is from FFT #5. Jonalungus is behind the camera and Will Powers is the male talent. Although Jona blathers too much he is more palatable than Destradamus.

Jaylynn has black hair and a beautiful face and bright blue eyes. She has a tight body, a beautiful smile, a great complexion, dimples, and small perky breasts. According to IAFD she has made 40 titles. She made this movie after being in the business for about a year. This could have been one of her first five movies. During the scene she says she is 19.

The first thing the guys do is blindfold her before she starts sucking Will’s cock. To their credit they quickly realize you don’t blindfold a girl with such a beautiful face and eyes, and they remove the blindfold. She looks great sucking Will’s dick. She strips down and reveals a really nice tight body. They start fucking in cowgirl. She looks really wet. Then she sucks his cock some more. Then its doggie, RCG, mish, spoon. Will stands up and turns her upside down in a 69. Then it’s more mish till he cums on her face. There is plenty of cock sucking and face fucking throughout the scene. She moans and screams appreciatively throughout the scene. There is also a lot less abusive stuff in this scene, just a little rough play with a strip of cloth used to gag her a little. The scene ends with some cum and a big smile on her face.

Sex Scene 3 – Barbie Cummings

Approximately 48 minutes

This scene is from FFT #1. Jonalungus is behind the camera and James Deen is the male talent. Barbie is a blue-eyed blonde. She has fake tits but they are pretty nice ones. She has a pretty face. During the scene she says she is 19.

According to IAFD she has made almost 50 titles. She made this movie during her first year in the business so this could have been her first movie.

First she gives James a BJ then he fucks her mish on the floor. Then more cock sucking, and then they get back on the bed and do it mish and RCG.  Then James fingers her with both hands. Next is more mish. She is moaning, screaming and demanding more throughout. James then fucks her in the ass mish and RCG. There is also lots of cock sucking, face fucking, slapping, spitting, gagging, ass licking, and choking throughout the scene. The scene ends with Barbie receiving a big load on her face with smile and a thank you.

Sex Scene 4 – Renee Jordan

Approximately 30 minutes

This scene is from FFT #5. Jonalungus is back behind the camera with James Deen as the male talent. Renee is a cute brunette. Renee has only five titles to her credit and a few of them were probably made before this movie. In this scene she says she is 18.

She sucks James dick. Then James fucks her in doggie, mish, and spoon. She looks like she really likes it and is orgasmic. James slips his dick in her ass and fucks her in the spoon position, and then they go to RCG and doggie. Next James goes back into her pussy and does her RCG and mish before cumming on her face.  

Sex Scene 5 – Jackie Joy

Approximately 34 minutes

This scene is from FFT #2. Jonalungus is behind the camera and James Deen is the male talent. Jackie is a pretty blonde. She says she is 20. According to IAFD she has made almost 32 titles. She made this movie during her first year in the business so this could have been her first movie.

She starts off by giving James a blowjob. Then he fucks her from behind, mish, RCG, and spoon. Then James cums on her face. Jackie makes appreciative sounds throughout the scene. There is just a little choking and slapping in this one.

Disc Two

Running time is approximately 2.5 hours

Sex Scenes

Sex Scene 1 – Charley Fire

Approximately 30 minutes.

This scene is from FFT #6. Destradamus is the director and James Deen is the male talent. Charley is a very cute redhead. She is pale, freckled, and has nice boobs. She doesn’t have a good complexion but she has pretty eyes. According to IAFD she has made 40 titles. She made this movie after being in the business for about a year. This could have been one of her first or second movies.

Destradamus is awful in this scene but Charley does a good job of putting up with him. James starts fingering her during the interview and she gets very turned on. Her arousal is very sexy. Charley makes this a hot scene despite Destradamus. James fucks her in the spoon position while Destradamus continues acting like a jerk. She strips and James does her in RCG. She sucks his cock. Then he fucks her mish, doggie, and cums on her face. She remained very turned on throughout the scene. This was a very hot scene.

Sex Scene 2 – Lindsay Kay

Approximately 33 minutes

This scene is from FFT #2. Destradamus is the director and James Deen is the male talent. The guys almost ruin this scene with a paint can and a hockey mask. Lindsay makes this a pretty good scene despite their shenanigans. Lindsay is cute with black hair. She says she is 19. According to IAFD she has made 60 titles. She made this movie after being in the business for about a year. She probably made at least 10 movies before this one.

Lindsay messes around with the paint can for a while and then James fucks her from behind while they are both dressed. He gets naked, fucks her face, and then chokes her. He does her mish while she strips. Then they do cowgirl, spoon, and doggie. James is pretty abusive during this scene and there is a lot of cock sucking, gagging, and choking throughout. At the end of the scene he cums on her face and she shares the load with the paint can.

Sex Scene 3 – Sophia Lynn

Approximately 25 minutes

This scene is from FFT #4. Destradamus is the director and James Deen is the male talent. Sophia is a beautiful, slim, blonde. According to IAFD she has made almost 40 titles. She made this movie during her first year in the business so this could have been her first movie.

She is in sexy short skirt and bra. She has a pink dildo with her. She starts by giving him a BJ while using the dildo on herself. He faces fucks her and she deep throats him. They start in cowgirl and Sophia loses her clothes. She stands up and he fucks her against a ladder. Then they go to a couch and do mish, doggie, and RCG. There is some but not a lot of slapping and choking in this scene. Sophia makes appreciative sounds throughout the scene and occasionally makes demands.  At the end of the scene, Sophia jerks James onto her face. It’s very hot.

Sex Scene 4 – Lexi Leigh

Approximately 34 minutes

This scene is from FFT #2. Destradamus is the director and Alex Forte is the male talent. According to IAFD she has made almost 25 titles. She made this movie during her first year in the business so this could have been her first movie. Lexi has a pretty face, a slim body, and small boobs. She is in a schoolgirl outfit and is wearing her hair in pigtails. Destradamus is as obnoxious as usual. Lexi does a good job of putting up with him. Alex starts off by fingering her. Then she sucks his cock. He face fucks her. She strips and gets on the bed and he fucks her mish pretty hard and chokes her. He also does her doggie, cowgirl, and RCG. Throughout the scene there is a lot of face fucking. By the end of the scene her makeup has worn off and you can tell she is lightly freckled. At the end of the scene he cums on her face.

Sex Scene 5 – Lielani

Approximately 30 minutes

This scene is from FFT #4. Jonalungus is behind the camera and James Deen is the male talent. Strangely, this scene takes place in a utility room with a washing machine and an easy chair. According to IAFD she has made over 40 titles. She made this movie during her first year in the business so this could have been her first movie. She says she is 22. Lielani is slim, with nice sized breasts. She has black hair and a really pretty face. At the beginning of the scene She is wearing a negligee and sitting on a running washing machine. James starts off by fondling her. She looks very aroused. She is very willing to give him a blowjob. James fucks her standing up while she leans on a wall. Her clothes come off and then James does her from behind while he leans back on the washing machine. James sits in the easy chair and she does him RCG then cowgirl. During the scene James chokes her a lot. She also sucks his cock a lot. The scene ends with him cumming on her face. Lielani has a great smile and we see it a lot during this scene. She seems to be anxious to please and at the same time derives a lot of pleasure from the pounding she is getting. This girl makes this a good scene despite the worst efforts by the director and talent.

Extras

There aren’t many extras. There is a pick your pleasure option, a short photo gallery and a few trailers.

Conclusion

I have a lot of issues with this compilation. It doesn’t seem right to make a “Best of” from just six movies. I don’t think they picked the best scenes. Destradamus almost ruins the scenes he directs and Jonalungus doesn’t do much better. The male talent is very abusive with the girls. However, despite the male talent and directors the girls really do a good job. Also a lot of the girls are really pretty. I also like to see fresh new faces and this movie had a lot of those. The girls average out to a B- in looks and the scenes average out to a C+ in hotness. However, if you like to see girls choked, slapped, spit on, and treated disrespectfully you’ll like this movie.