Freakazoids 3 Review

     Yummy! Brown skinned goddesses gettin' freaky!

The Basics

-Freakazoids #3
-Genre: Straight
- 6 chapters
-Overall Value- $10.00

The Run Down

     Each scene starts pretty much the same, a small introduction from each girl along with a strip tease, dance then on into their scene. I rather prefer this format, no failed attempts at dialogue to muddle through.    

     This was really an odd combination of scenes. Some were really hot and I was into, and some of them I could not wait to get through. The sex was steamy and passionate in some, then abusive and degrading in others. It was almost as though half of these were shot for a harder core DVD and just thrown in.

     The audio was distant in some scenes and too close in others. I typically set the receiver to 52 and that's loud, this DVD I had to toggle between 72 and 50 depending on the scene to be able to hear what was being said.
     The womyn although they all had nice breasts, were average otherwise in looks.

      My overall impression...this was a just O.K. DVD.
    

Play-

     Oh hey! Just what I wanted to sit through, advertisements for phone sex, previews for other EA productions and a plug for ElegantAngel.com. Tacky guys, I mean really. I paid for this DVD and I want to be able to watch it, not your opportunistic placement of ads.

     And what's with the cheesy "Feature Presentation" crap?


Scene 1

Kiwi-
     This was a pretty fun scene, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and that of course set the right tone for being able to enjoy. Tony and Wesley are there to make it with Kiwi and they flip a coin to see who gets head first and who gets tail. lol
   
      There's some pussy licking, B.J's, doggie, reverse cowgirl and DPP. I was disapointed there was no penetration shot here, it was editted right from the reverse cowgirl to DPP already in progress.

    On things progress to cowgirl and then into a facial in which she manages to avoid swallowing and just smears cum all over her face. Then here again we are at the mercy of the editing gods, so we go straight into a second facial.

Heat 3 1/2 of 5
Looks 6 1/2 of 10
 

Scene 2

India & Nichole Le-
     This was a nice idea, and had potential with the right girls. India was hot and seemed like she probably is actually bi-sexual, but Nichole struck me like a backwater hick fresh off the bus. She was unsure and awkward and coupled with a horrendous case of stretch marks up her ass, it killed a lot of the heat in this scene.

     Nichole rinses herself with a detachable shower head then leans over to lick India from the bottom to the top. They cup water in their hands and drip it over one one another's breasts, kiss a bit,  then Nichole eats out India and finger fucks her.

     Switch and India returns the favor, then they move into a finger fucking 69 and finally pussy grinding.

     There were certainly some hot moments in this scene but it just didn't carry thru.

Heat 3 of 5
Looks 4 of 5 for India
3 of 5 for Nichole Le

Scene 3

Cashmere-
     Pretty girl, but the razor burn all the way up and around her thighs kind of killed it for me. If you're gonna be in a porno, please wax, or at least shave a day ahead of time so you don't look like you have some kind of skin condition. Oh, and while you're at it, please remember to do your armpits.

     This scene was some pussy licking, 69, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and missionary from which they make a very smooth transition into spooning anal. Into doggie anal, bicycle anal, and a facial.

Heat 3 1/2 of 5
Looks 7 of 10
 

Scene 4

Semone-
     I like the looks of this girl but she needs to loose the hardware in her face and gain a few pounds. Her arms and legs are too small for her breasts. I was charmed by the braces though.

     We start with 69, into a reverse cowgirl in which she manages to look completely uninterested then on into doggie. The guy keeps directing her to bring her ass back, spread your cheeks, "don't cheat me". T o which of course my resonse was, "O.K dumb ass, maybe she's moving away because you have a monster dick and your jackhammering her." When we get to the facial she squints her eyes closed and waits for it to be over. He demands she open her eyes so she does, but instead turns her head and his cum lands on her neck.

     Shit like this is what turns me off to most porn. It was obvious Semone was not enjoying herself, orgasm was not even on the agenda for her, let alone any pleasure. I believe it's crap like this on the market that inspires productions like the recent Barbara Walters interview everyone was so up in arms about.
 

Heat 2 of 5
Looks 7 of 10

Scene 5

Lucy Pearl-
     Fun little tidbit-
In the into for Lucy she squeezes her breasts until she lactates, as you can see here.

     This scene starts with a gagging, deep throat BJ, then moves into cowgirl, meanwhile he chokes her. On into missionary, choking her again. He's banging into her and choking her and she reaches for her clit. He says  "move your fucking hands and cum with me bitch." Can you guess what I have to say about that? He continues to choke her and demands that she continue cumming.

     On into the inevitable anal, missionary in which he grabs a handful of her breast and squeezes so hard I'm sure she had a bruise the next day, into bicycle anal in which her neck looks like it's going to break and finally into a big, messy facial.

     To be completely fair, I have to say she does not look upset or under duress when he stops choking her but it is frightening to watch because while it's happening she is gasping and crying.
     My feeling is that if I wanted to watch things like this I would have bought a fetish DVD oriented to this type of sex. To say the least, I was disturbed. The rest of my choice names and words towards the male actor I will have to self-censor.
 

Heat 0 of 5
Looks 7 of 10

Scene 6

Hazel-
     OMG, there is something about a dark skinned womyn with light eyes that get's me every time. Unfortunately otherwise she looks kind of unhealthy, her skin is sallow, she has almost no eyebrows and her hair is thinning.

     Here we start with a BJ and move into some pussy licking where we discover what a big clit Hazel has. Hmmmm  Into doggie they go with big squelching sounds and into spoon, reverse cowgirl and a finish with a facial that goes deep in her mouth.
 

Heat 4 of 5
Looks 6 1/2 of 10

Menu

• Play
  Press play and instead of a root menu or the movie, you get AD'S! Oh hurray, this DVD is earning kuddo points by the second with me.
• Chapters
  6 Motion Selections,
• Extras
  There are 6 static boxes for extra's but the 6th one just returns you to the root menu.

Bonus Pics 4 U-
5 minute, 24 second slide show of assorted Elegant Angel shoots

Patrick Collins trip to Europe, Softcore
Assorted womyn nude and or scantily clad. 4 minutes 9 seconds

Twisted Pics
This was an ...interesting choice to add to the DVD. A collection of Halloween, freaky, photo shopped porn images. I dunno, I don't like to mix my horror and my porn together, it just seems wrong to me. 8 minutes 24 seconds

Patrick Collins trip to Europe, Hardcore
More vacation photos, porno style. 3 minutes 44 seconds

Behind the Scenes
I was looking forward to some behind the scenes footage but instead just got yet another slideshow. 8 minutes 24 seconds.

     O.K, so you have wasted roughly 30 minutes of my life with your slides shows. There are no navigation options other than fast forward and not even some cheesy music or commentary to spice things up a bit. Zzzzzz

My Overall Impression

    You'll have to decide for yourself, all I can say is this was certainly an interesting experience. I was turned on one minute and disgusted the next.

Have fun, be safe.
Luna