Farm Hands (Titan) Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  3/9/2007

This is a follow-up to Brian Mill’s earlier FARM FRESH where the Titan director and photographer went to Eastern Europe and filmed those incomparable beauties that we have drooled over since the iron curtain fell. God, what a gene pool!

The film opens with three hunky bare-chested young studs walking though a meadow. They are Vilem Cage, Pavek Neumann, and Tadeusz Tesar. Vilem is an experienced and extremely popular performer. Pavek is a sexy blond. Tadeusz is a mass of muscles. They pause near a wooden fence where Vilem becomes the center of attention. The boys lower his trousers. Pavek grabs the freed cock and Tadeusz goes down in it. Pavek takes a turn but Tadeusz takes over as sucker-in-chief giving head to both Vilem and Pavek until his massive chest is covered in their cock-cream.
Vilem and Pavek remove Tadeusz’ jeans and Vilem sucks his cock until it dribble out a load.

Moving over to an old abandoned farm cart Pavek bends over for Vilem to rim him and Tadeusz to finger-fuck him. Vilem’s cock follows.
Vilem next goes to sit in a chair. Pavek follows to seat himself on Vilem’s still standing cock.
For the final position Pavek crosses to a ladder and puts one foot on a rung to open his ass for further fucking. Vilem then mounts the ladder to let Pavek suck his cock while Tadeusz mounts Pavek. Vilem cums on Pavek’s shoulder while Tadeusz cums on his back.
Extremely awful music greatly detracted from this scene. Silence is indeed golden in fuck films except for heavy breathing, slurping, moans, and the sound of bellies banging against firm butts.

In a deserted barn dark-haired Joe Donovan and horse-hung Pavel Marek meet. Joe lowers Pavel’s pants goes to work on Pavel’s length organ. Joe’s cock is already hard when Pavel frees it from its confinement and proceeds to suck it and lap Joe’s balls. Pavel really gives Joe’s cock and balls a real workout.
The ultra beefy Olle Usmev enters and decides to join them. We would expect this hunk to move in to get head--instead he drops down to give it, sucking on the hard rods of both Pavel and Joe.
When Joe decides to reciprocate on Olle, Pavel occupies himself by leaning over to lick the head of his own dick. Olle then returns to sucking both of the theirs until they cum on him. Olle shoots an enormous load onto the barn floor.

Time to fuck. Olle bends over. As Pavel fucks Olle, Olle sucks Joe. Then when Joe fucks him, he sucks Pavel. With Olle next on his back they others once gain switch ends, with Pavel going back for greedy thirds. When they cum, Olle once again produces a huge load.

Thomas Lee, a beautiful blond carrying a bottle of lube, leans up against a brick chimney in a ruined farmhouse and begins masturbating. Thomas--be it noted--is a natural blond. He is soon joined by slender sexy David Novak and muscular Igor Martinek. As Igor strokes Thomas’ pecs., David drops down to suck on Thomas’ lovely cock. It starts to shower lightly as David starts sucking Igor’s cock as well as Thomas’. When the shower ceases, Thomas leans over to sample Igor’s upstanding flesh before once more relinquishing the job to David who receives both their loads.

As in the previous scene it is somewhat surprising that the muscle hunk bottoms. Since he has done the majority of the sucking it is perhaps only fair that he have first crack at Igor’s...uh, crack. With Igor being alternately fed cock from both ends, the others change places giving Igor a vigorous fuck in both doggy and missionary positions.
The music is less objectionable here which only goes to contribute to this--the film’s best scene.

Although the film doesn’t live up to its predecessor, the guys are beautiful and the videography (as always in a Brian Mill’s film) is excellent. With each scene consisting of three persons and following the same pattern the film becomes decidedly predictable: suck, cum; fuck cum. A little variety would have worked wonders. It’s the spice of porn as well as life.