European Teen Dream Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  10/19/2005

“European Teen Dream” may be what the French, Germans, and Slavs enjoy in porn, but it doesn’t fly well on this side of the Pond. If this was all porn has to offer, the industry would die a fast death.

Combine average (by Euro standards) girls performing barely warm sex with a poorly-dubbed voice-over soundtrack and you get this abomination. Throw in poor camerawork (often out of focus or too close to the performers) and you can just about discount it completely.

The scenes take place (in order): in a field next to a grave (on a cement wall that looks terribly uncomfortable); on a couch (with two girls doing their soccer-watching boyfriends); on a porch (with a hubby/wife team seducing their maid); in an art gallery; and on the outdoor set of a TV or radio talk show (where one girls does two guys).

No performer id’s are offered, so a cast/scene breakdown is impossible. The box cover lists Silvia Lancome, Lucy Lee, Anastasia, Dragana Presley, Claudia Claire, and Salma de Nora as the actresses, but I couldn’t tell you who is who. The guys might be considered attractive to some female viewers, I guess.

There’s anal sex, A2M’s, facials, and DP’s throughout the flick, which may have been shot in Spain. The dubbed voice-overs of fake moans and heavy breathing make one think of Darth Vader masturbating. The cameraman must have been gay, because he stares at the guys’ faces more than the girls’. He may have been far-sighted also, since mush of the action is shot from 10-15 feet. The sex is mechanical and boring.

The DVD extras include Scene Galleries, Cumshots, Trailers, and Company info. No condoms were used.