Euro Teens 3 Review

Distributor: Playhouse Edition Details: Hard Version DVD MSRP: $39.95 DVD Release Date: June 2002 Movie Specs: Genres: All Sex, Barely Legal, Foreign Run Time: 84 minutes Rated: R18 Release Year: 2002 Director: Paul Sky Written by: uncredited Cast: Alexa Weix (as Melinda), Tini, Pia Colada (as Denise), Melanie (as Jenny), Monique, Alex Forte, Mano, Ricardo Bell, Ronnie Weber, Sunny Green Release Specs: Audio: English/Dutch Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo Subtitles: none Video: Full Frame, 1.33:1 Video Format: NTSC Format: DVD Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): 0 (All) Number of discs: 1 Disc: DVD 5 (SS, SL) Special Features: none DVD-ROM Special Features: none

Synopsis:
Euro Teens 3 is an all sex plotless foreign adult film.

Video/Audio:
Euro Teens 3 is presented in the full screen aspect ratio, 1.33:1, which could be the original aspect ratio of the film. If it isn't, no evidence of the formatting is evident. As for the picture quality itself, there are conversion artifacts present from the PAL to NTSC conversion. Other than that, the picture is a little soft, but decent. The colors appear to be true.

The available audio track is a 2.0 Mono track. The audio track appears to be a combination of Dutch and English. What is spoken in English is said with a heavy accent and appears to be scripted whereas what is spoken in Dutch sounds more natural and casual. Understanding of either language is not necessary for viewing the film. No other language tracks and no subtitle options are available.

Chapters/Time Code:
There are no chapters available from the main menu for Euro Teens 3 as Playhouse seems to have forgotten to include the main menu on this disc. There are 14 chapters stops available in the film itself. They aren't set very well and most don't lead to the beginning of scenes, they put you partially into the scene. There is a time code for the feature film, so time searching is available.

Special Features:
There are absolutely no special features available for Euro Teens 3. Apparently they are hanging out with the main menu and the chapter menu.

Review:
Euro Teens 3 is a hastily put together disc that doesn't offer much for the consumer. To begin with, the disc doesn't even have a menu system. The video quality is roughly as good as it would be on VHS. So the DVD Video format offers nothing to the picture quality. There are no extras available for the disc, so you get nothing over what you would get if you had purchased the VHS.

The film itself is largely forgettable. The film contains five sex scenes that are all relatively tame. Most of the scenes are oral and vaginal sex only, one with some anal sex. Even the scene with the anal sex was tame. The sex is formulaic as well. Each of the scenes has a different setting with a short set up where the “teen” plays with herself, usually with a item of food. Then they go into the sex scene itself. For viewers who are interested, there are no condoms used in the film.

While we are on the subject of sex, I should talk about how the women look, which is not like they are eighteen or nineteen, but much older. Something that some porn companies need to learn is that just because you put a woman's hair in pig tails or a pony tail does not make her into a teenager. Besides the fact that the women look much older than eighteen, their looks, on average, are below average. The box and film can't even agree on the stars. The film itself lists Melinda, Tini, Denise, Jenny and Monique. The box lists Hanny, Svitlana, Zita, Naomi, Vivien, Mano, Alex, Kyle, Simon and Richard. I've seen cases where the box and film disagree on a star or two, but never the entire cast.

The camera work is rather poor too. Most of the shots are improperly framed and often, parts that should be in the shot are off camera completely. Often cinematography in adult films is not great, but this one takes the cake.

The Money Shot:
Euro Teens 3 is a poor quality foreign import film with little to offer or satisfy the purchaser. I recommend that you avoid this title altogether. If you are still interested in it, viewers who hate a plot, who like tame sex, and like poorly made porno films has the greatest chance of finding enjoyment here. Viewers who require a plot, production values or nasty sex need not apply.

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