Euro Teens Review

Reviewed by Speelie  on  1/27/2002

Euro Teens
Metro/Playhouse Produced 1/8/01
Released 8/28/01
Produced (directed?) by Paul Sky
Cast : Dana, Monique, Petra, Clair, Mary (aka Alice), John, Louis, Danny

This is labeled as the “Hard Version.” I don’t know whether there is also a soft one. If you are accustomed to animated menus and similar niceties, just forget about it. This is a barebones DVD, and the cheapness extends to frequent excessive pixellation.

We begin by seeing Dana (or is it Monique?) sitting on a couch, where an interesting, revealing leopard skin print outfit. She’s not a teen by any means, but is an average looking brunette. She’s quickly joined by Monique (or Dana), a cute n’ curvy blonde in a tiger skin bikini, and with a prominent tattoo on her upper right arm. I can’t place the blonde exactly, but I think she’s been in a Killer Pussy edition. Dana and Monique fool around with each other rather tamely, before the brunette leads the blonde into a bedroom.

Here, the brunette lies on her back so the blonde can apply a vibrator to her naughty areas. A man, John, suddenly is behind the blonde, pumping her pussy in doggy. The blonde looks quite good in action, even as the position switches to spooning. Then she’s on her back, so the brunette can lick and finger her, as John cums on her face.

Petra is a slender, plain, pale skinned dirty blonde. She walks in on Louis, a bearded guy who isn’t too bad looking. Unlike in many movies with a young theme, he looks the kind of guy a teenage girl might actually want to fuck. Petra certainly wants to do so, she sits on his lap to distract him from his TV program. Soon, she further distracts him by putting his penis in her mouth, and it seems to have the intended effect. He returns the favor by eating her a bit, which makes her face go flush with excitement.

He leads her into a bedroom, where they 69, which does an overly good job of showing off her ass zits. She then rides him reverse cowgirl, and the energy she expends turns her face red again. She turns around to ride cowgirl, then gets spooned, including some kissing, and finally gets poked doggy. Finally, Petra sucks Louis off as he lies on his back.

Our cover girl, Clair, is allegedly Belgian. The next scene finds her in a bedroom, complete with stuffed animals to let us know she’s young. She certainly looks young, perhaps 16, and has braces to accentuate things. She’s pretty in an adolescent way, if that’s your thing, but this doesn’t seem promising if you want hot sex. She plays with herself a bit, and seems very aware of the camera at all times. Danny soon arrives, and she seems happy enough to see him that it’s not inconceivable that he’s her real life SO. The lick and grope each other a bit, including a 69. She rides him cowgirl, then gets on her knees for some doggy fucking which leaves her flushed. After a bit of spoon, he jacks off onto her tongue.

This movie saves the best for last. “Mary” sits at a computer, wearing panties and “Porn Star Academy” t-shirt (maybe that Private movie “The Academy” wasn’t fiction after all ;-)). She’s a plae skinned Czech brunette who speaks decent English, and has recently shot some scenes in the USA as “Alice,” most notably in Vince Vouyer’s Three Some. She’s also in Teen Tryouts 8 and Try a Teen 5 (neither of which I’ve seen), and surprisngly enough, apparently really is 19 (according to what she states in Three Some). As you might guess, I liked her quite a bit in Three Some, where she looks better than here. In the present movie, a makeup artist should have covered her face zits (I guess they do make her more believable as a teen), and washing her hair wouldn’t have hurt either. However, despite these criticisms, she’s quite pretty in real, non-glamorous way, and she has an on-screen sexiness beyond her years.

Mary/Alice has some trouble with the computer, so Louis reappears, to help her out. They soon start kissing, and he lifts her shirt to reveal her lovely, firm, medium breasts. She fellates him with enthusiasm, before they move to a couch for some cunnilingus. Bush fans take note, she has almost a full bush here, though it is trimmed to an extremely short height. Louis eats and fingers her, and then leads her into the same bedroom to which he previously brought Petra (this “leading people into the bedroom theme is a bit odd...).

On the bed, they 69, and he rims her a bit. If you want to see her do anal, check out Three Some, where she takes it with the practiced ease you’d expect of a Czech actress (think of Monica Sweetheart, for example). We are treated to a great view of her dangling breastiges, before she climbs up for a reverse cowgirl ride. She looks so good here, with her face scrunching up to display determination and concentration. She’s even sexier when she periodically licks her lips. Mary turns around to ride cowgirl, and she’s so good that even as she gasps, Louis is gasping too in delight. This sequence almost makes the movie worth recommending, almost. After some spooning, she jerks him off as they both try to catch their breath. I keep searching for more of her in movies shot in Prague, and I’m surprised Tom Byron didn’t cast her in one of his movies when she was in the California.

The DVD is completed by a short, worthless photo gallery, and abee, abee, abee, that’s all folks. This is a truly shoddy excuse for DVD mastering, and provides no additional reason for purchasing a movie which is difficult to recommend on its own merits. There are plenty of worse movies out there, but if you are looking for “Euro Action,” you’ll be disappointed. Aside from some nice views of Mary, there’s really nothing special, or even very good in Euro Teens. The best thing I can think to say is that the movie might work ok as a non-threatening way to introduce someone to pornography in general, or to gonzo as a change from plotted fare. And if you are one of the tiny minority that has seen and fallen in lust with Mary/Alice elsewhere, then it is worth renting just to catch up with her again.

UPON FURTHER REVIEW : The blonde in the first scene is Dana, a popular 1 by Day model who usually performs on screen as "Stacy Silver." She often works with her fellow 1 by Day models Petra (blonde) and Petra (brunette), who in movies are called, respectively, Sandy Saint and Dani Ricci (sometimes she remains "Petra). All three appear in Killer Pussy 9, and they are starting to turn up in Rocco movies such as Animal Trainer 8 (Stacy and Sandy) and Initiations 4 (all three). Petra/Dani appears in Euro Teens 2.

Send questions or comments to : Speelie@my.adultdvdtalk.com