Erotic Expertise Review

Reviewed by scipio  on  10/27/2001

Cast as credited: Anita Cannibal, Milita (Mahlita), Ruby, Meridian, Nick East, Kyle Stone, Julian St Jox, Guy DeSilva.

I remembered seeing this title on the shelf a long time ago, back when I used to buy VHS from smut shops. Anita Cannibal looked good on the cover, but by this time I was much more wary of videos with good covers that looked like they were otherwise lacking (like Vivid's products). Still, it stuck in my mind, and when I recently had the chance to pick this dvd up for just the cost of shipping, I gladly took it.

I got what I paid for, well, almost.

When I first popped the disc into the player, I was greeted with what looked like a scene select menu. Is actually a set of options with cheesy synth music.

Play Movie, Scene Select (animated, numbered scene menu), Still photos: really poor quality vidcaps, fullscreen, 1:14 length, Trailers for cheap asian dvds with Ed Powers, Biographies: badly done but at least you can identify the players, Phone Sex (phone sex ads are an "extra"?)

Video quality would be about the same as a reasonable VHS.

Scene 1: Meridian and Nick East (condom)
Some guy off camera talks to Meridian. She's got dark hair and is below average looking. Right nipple pierced. She poses in a blue dress and for some reason the camera is on it's side for awhile. She sucks on a stupid looking dildo and attempts to mount it (fails).

She gets dressed again and they drive to a farm where Nick East is sitting on a fence. Naturally, she blows him then and there. They seem to have teleported to inside the car where the BJ continues. They screw RC and mish, back to RC. The camerawork is horrible as they're inside a moving car (limo?).

They're inside the room the scene started in, she gives him head, they go to standing doggy, he jerks off into her face. Bad scene.


Scene 2: Mahlita and Julian St Jox. (condom)
Mahlita is blonde, she is sometimes attractive in an ugly sort of way, but looks awful here. Her nose looks strange. She has enhanced breasts and a pierced tongue. Mahlita starts wearing a dress but quickly strips to nothing while Julian sits on a chair, she blows him, he eats her, standing doggy, reverse cowgirl, more standing doggy, he pulls out and comes on her left ass cheek. Better than the last scene, but nothing special.


Scene 3: Anita Cannibal and Guy DeSilva
Anita starts off smoking a cigarette and chatting into the camera from behind an office-type desk (with computer, etc). While she looks very good on the cover she's not nearly as attractive here. Blonde, large silicone breasts. She plays with herself for awhile and rolls around on the carpet. Thhen Guy walks in. (On a side note, anyone ever noticed just how much Guy DeSilva looks like "Poppy" from Seinfeld?).

Anita stops rolling around on the floor and blows Poppy, he returns the favor in an odd sort of backwards 69 position, standing doggy, laying spoon, then he comes on her pussy. She chats with and makes faces at the camera. The audio is so bad I can't understand them.


Scene 4: Ruby and Kyle Stone
Ruby is a short-haired redhead with extra-large breasts. I thought she looked okay with her longer hair but now she doesn't do much for me. She and Kyle are sitting on opposite sides of a desk. The sex takes place as they wander all over a warehouse. She stands up and strips off. In a startling turn of events, he gives HER oral to start off, she reciprocates. Doggy is next, mish, cowgirl, he comes on her stomach.
The End. Thank you, drive through.

Well, overall it's pretty crap and goes immediately into my get rid of asap pile, without any need to "watch" it in it's intended way. If only someone involved in the production had some erotic expertise of their own....

scipio