Eager Beaver (Beaver Ranch) Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  4/14/2005

The Little Details

Running Time: 104 min.

Production Date: 5 / 24 / 2004 (cover) 6 / 15 / 17 / 2004 (DVD)

Director: None credited

Cast: Jenny Sanders, Melani, Victoria Swinger, Gina Pearl, and a few guys

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: Beaver Ranch appears to be a very new studio. I’m going in with an open mind and the hope of finding another small studio with lots to offer.

Initial Reaction: Eh.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody who’s looking for something to do other than watching paint dry.

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody with decent porn around

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects leave plenty to be desired. The audio isn’t balanced that well and the level changes from scene to scene. There’s also a few background noises. The video isn’t much better. It’s lit pretty well, but there’s a pixelated and muddy feel to the video that made me think of a second or third generation VHS copy. There’s even a bit of digital breakdown or remnants. This is anything but an impressive looking or sounding movie.

Music: I think there’s music in the background of all of the scenes. In some case it’s definitely music and it’s fairly decently balanced with the rest of the audio. In other cases, there’s definitely some noises back there, but I’m not sure they’re music. At times they sound like background noise, but they have a consistent beat that makes me think they’re to be music. Regardless, in almost all cases it interferes with the scenes.

Menus: The menus leave a bit to be desired. The main menu blends a still and a clip from the movie, but doesn’t give the best impression. The chapter menu lets you choose a scene based on a chapter number and a still from each scene.

The Feature

Eager Beavers is an all sex movie. The only thing that seems to connect the scenes is that some of the scenes look like they’re shot in the same room.

Scene 1 - Jenny Sanders and a guy

Jenny, a cute blonde in a red dress with matching bra, panties, and fishnets, starts things off kissing a guy on a bed. They grope each other a little before she bends over to work his cock out of his pants and into her mouth. She lies back and works on her bald beaver with a little pink jelly-ish dildo before waving her man back over to help a little. Apparently he can’t do too much because she ends up playing with herself a little more before sucking his cock to get him hard. They even get in a little sixty-nining before he climbs on top of Jenny for a little missionary work. Jenny sucks his cock a little more before letting her man spoon her, and lets him bone her on his knees as well. They strip Jenny down before letting her ride him in both cowgirls, and then finish things up with a decent pop across her nice little titties.

This scene definitely starts the movie out in the hole. It doesn’t even make it to the average mark for several reasons. Jenny’s looks, however, is not one of those looks because she’s a cute little girl who looks like she enjoys herself. The camera work, on the other hand, doesn’t look so good. I found myself frequently wanting a different camera angle as well as wondering why somebody didn’t edit the scene a little tighter so that it wouldn’t look like Jenny was having a better time by herself than with her partner for the first part of the scene. Jenny and her man look like they have nice chemistry, it’s just that everybody who’s involved with this scene technically doesn’t seem to want you to know it.

Scene 2 - Melani and a guy

Melani, a cute brunette, heads upstairs with a guy who I think goes by Clark. He goes right to work on her pussy with his tongue and fingers, and throws in a little attention for her nipples as well. Melani reciprocates with some knob gobbling before climbing to ride it in both cowgirls. She makes sure to mix in a little more cocksucking before letting her man give it to her missionary style. The get in a little spooning as well before Melani finishes things up with a nice facial.

This is a slightly above average scene. Melani and her man have some very nice chemistry and both put in some great energy. There’s plenty of smiles and some nice vocals, but sadly the camera work is lacking once again. This should have been a great scene, but Melani and her man just didn’t have the help behind the camera to get it there.

Scene 3 - Victoria Swinger and a guy

Victoria, who’s in her brunette mode here, starts things out in a black dress, panties, and fishnets on a couch with a guy attacking her left tit. He hoists her onto his lap and strips her down to show a sexy corset and an amazing ass before letting her off to work on his cock orally. They mix in a little twat tonguing before Victoria gets it speared missionary style. They work in a little reverse cowgirl and spooning before Victoria gets her ass licked and fucked from behind. Finally, the guy busts a nut (yes, just one) on Victoria’s ass after vigorously spanking it and lets Victoria suck out the last few drops.

This scene makes it past average for me. There’s some decent chemistry to the sex, but the main thing that worked for me was Victoria’s outfit. I love everything about it, and the fact that she got her ass reamed in it didn’t hurt anything. This scene still has a lot of the same faults as the other scenes, but the addition of anal and a sexy outfit helped it work its way part the rest of the scenes for me.

Scene 4 - Gina Pearl and a guy

Bottle blonde Gina starts things out in a green and black dress with a black bra, thong, and shoes stripping down for her man. She lightly plays with her pussy and briefly sucks his cock before sliding onto his face so that they can sixty-nine. Gina climbs up to bounce on his cock before letting him give it to her from behind. They also get in a little spooning before Gina takes the spooge spray across her mouth.

This is a pretty average scene. Yes, the camera work and editing still left a bit to be desired, but there’s some decent chemistry and energy. There isn’t anything overly entertaining or anything, but it is okay.

Eager Beavers shows one of the biggest problems with all sex movies, that anybody with a video camera and a few bucks can put out a movie. The chemistry is normally pretty good in the scenes, but the camera work and editing normally left me wondering where I left the remote. The scenes are almost always overly long, and in every scene I wished that the editing would have been tightened up. The camera work often had me wanting a slightly different angle, and gave me the feeling that whoever was behind it just zoomed and panned around at will rather than trying to capture something specific. More than anything, though, I think the thing that didn’t work for me about Eager Beavers was the attitude. There’s something about it that gave me a “It’s just porn” attitude, which always turns me off. There’s very little in Eager Beavers to get eager about.

The Extra Stuff

The photo gallery lasts nearly five minutes with roughly five seconds per good looking snapshot or full screen photo. There’s also contact information, a behind the scenes featurette, and a trailer for Pick Up Chix.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts nearly four minutes, and covers most of Beaver Ranch’s movies and has very little footage that appears to come from Eager Beavers. It’s set to music and almost seems like a bad music video with varying video quality. It’s an extremely forgettable featurette, and one that I’d sadly expect to see on all of Beaver Ranch’s DVDs.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, toys, masturbation, rimming (male > female), and anal

Raincoat Factor: High

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, Beaver Ranch DVDs can be found online for between about $16 and $20 with very few stores offering them. Pass this one by. There’s not anything completely horrible about it, but there’s so many other titles out there that do the same thing better. The sex is average at best, but the technical aspects are lacking and there isn’t a lot of effort put into the extras. This is a very forgettable release.

Note to Beaver Ranch: Full credits would be a very nice thing. The very least anybody should be able to do is to give credit where it’s due.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight