Down On The Farm (Nova) Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  6/20/2004

Star turned director, Roland Dane, has now directed 5 films for Studio 2000 and appears to be batting a 1000. Even though the films have a plot, the sex is the thing for Roland—and his viewers are extremely thankful. DOWN ON THE FARM despite the punning title is guaranteed to raise something other than eyebrows.

The film begins with Roberto Giorgio, a well-built gorgeous blond hunk, hiking with his friend Gabor Szeles. As they are climbing a steep hill, Roberto slips and injures his ankle. He sends Gabor back to a farmhouse they passed earlier to get help. Gabor returns with Rafael Carreras and Peter Peck. Together they carry Roberto down to the farm where he is left in the care of Rafael. Rafael is a charismatic young Spaniard who has filled a fair number of my fantasies. He has smoldering dark eyes and a very large uncut cock. As Rafael is sitting with Roberto’s injured foot in his lap, he tells Roberto of being jilted by his lover in Spain. “I would never leave you,” says Roberto and they move into a kiss. Roberto stands—his ankle apparently cured by Rafael’s kiss. Something else stands as well and, after sucking on Roberto’s tits, Rafael takes care of this new swelling. Later when Roberto falls to his knees to give thanks, I am once again amazed at the size of Rafael’s cock. If it’s not 12 inches, I would be surprised. Let me put it this way, if Rafael were walking though the house naked his cock would appear through the doorway five minutes before the rest of him. There’s no way Roberto can swallow all of it; but there’s another receptacle that just might take it all and, as Roberto lies back onto a table and after Rafael gives Roberto’s asshole a thorough rimming, he lifts the handsome stud’s legs and drives his cock into the prepared opening.

Waiting outside are Gabor and Peter. As they wait for Rafael to work his “cure” on Roberto, these two decide to get to know one another better. Peter, who is probably better known as Frank Miller, has the most suckable tits in porn but it's his cock that gets Gabor’s attention. (Gabor, a very cute twenty-something with luscious lips, is better known as Rick Bauer.) The cocksucking becomes mutual in a nice 69 atop a picnic table. Peter becomes more and more interested in Gabor’s ass. After a brief exploration with his fingers, he inserts something a lot larger. Peter’s low-hanging balls sway like a pendulum as he drives his cock into the beautiful boy’s butt. Director Dane must have taken a look at the Kama Sutra to get some of the fun positions used in the fantastic fuck that follows. The scene is a scorcher! I won’t tell you who came first, but it wasn’t Gabor or Peter.

After this fabulous fuck, Peter goes to check on the farmhands. Giovanni Floretto and Roberto Kerekes are pitching hay. When Peter leaves, the farmhands wonder if he has fucked the tourist. This talk leads to a discussion of dick size, and Giovanni pulls out a whopper. Now, I know we talk a lot about dick size in these reviews and use words such as “huge”, “enormous”, “mammoth”, “monster”, etc. But none of these is sufficient to describe that uncut dick that Giovanni brings out of his pants. I’ve never seen anything as big except for one I saw on a rampant stallion. It’s not so much the length—although that is awesome—it’s the thickness. The foreskin is extremely tight and never pulls off the head even when the cock is fully erect. Nor does Kerekes’ lips move it back when he tries to suck on it. I should also mention that Giovanni is built like the proverbial brick shit house. This guy defines “hunk”! It is surprising not only that he starts sucking Kerekes' cock, but that he does such a loving and professional job on it. It’s even more surprising when he sits down on the smaller man’s cock and rides it; then gets fucked in a variety of positions.

Roberto has invited Rafael to his birthday party in town, and this sets the scene for the five-man orgy that ends the film. I’m saddened to see that Gabor has not been invited, and sorry to see that the ubiquitous Janos Volt has been. Janos seems to appear in nearly all Eastern European films, and has definitely outstayed his welcome at my house. I never found him interesting to begin with. Attila Hun, a muscular blond, and Tico Martin, a handsome stud with a delectable dick are the other guests. Surprisingly, there is little interplay between Rafael and Roberto. Roberto spends his time with Tico—eventually fucking him. Rafael is engaged in various ménage-a trois with the other two. It is often a flaw in these productions to think that quantity is a fit substitute for quality. That is nearly the case here. Certainly the finale does not generate the heat of the preceding scenes, but it serves to bring the film to a satisfying end.

This film is enough to make one move to Hungary, buy a plot of land, and hire some hunky farmhands to beautify the terrain.

A final note:

Eastern European porn stars have as many aliases as fugitives on the F.B.I.’s most wanted list. Roberto Giorgio started as Filip Olivier in the BelAmi films and graduated to Roberto after his twink phase. Frank Miller of the suckable pecs uses that name in the Herve Handsome epics and has also been Steve Walker, Zoly Miklos, Zoly Mirlos (for Falcon) and now Peter Peck[er], which has to be the worst yet. The adorable Gabor Szeles is more popular as Rick Bauer, but has sometimes used just a single name like Laszlo. The huge-dicked Giovanni Floretto is better known as Fred Fele in the Handsome films, although he has also appeared in them as Attila Ferenczi. He has been in other films as simply Ferenc, and even as the American-sounding Mark Huston. All of which makes it extremely difficult for fans of these beauties. The fans and the stars deserve better.