Don't Tease Me! 1 Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  6/3/2005

As light S & M films go, this one is far better than any of the crap put out by Grapik. It’s well lit and photographed for one thing. They have taken some pains with the sets and it actually has some direction and decent acting. And in contrast to Grapik which treats the sex almost as though it’s a softcore film, this one actually shows some good sucking and fucking (although the latter doesn’t last long enough). The raison d’être for the film is spanking. Now spanking is I guess a turn on (especially for priests) and there are certainly some asses I’ve wanted to spank. In my case that was directed more by anger than lust. Still, I find the butts here quite hot even before they get pink. There are three scenes and they progress in quality from the weakest to the best.

The opening subtitled “The Warehouse Man” is pretty poor. The major reason is because the tormentor is given more exposure than the victim when it’s the victim who is the more attractive of the two. In fact the newcomer Rex Phillips is quite an attractive young bear but we hardly get a glimpse of his body (other than his butt). Whereas his ‘spanker’ Steve Tuck who gets the camera exposure is big but soft. His butt is flabby and he has a tiny dick. As in all the scenes the spanking goes on and on. The victim (in this case Rex) is spanked, sucks some dick and then gets spanked some more and finally fucked (briefly). In this 25 minute scene we have had approximately 4 minutes to set it up, 2 minutes of cocksucking, and at the very most 1½ minutes of fucking. The other 17 ½ minutes were devoted to slapping Rex’s rump.

Things are better in scene two: “The Doctor”. Here another newcomer, Clark Westfield, comes to Dr. Jack Sanders with a groin pain. Clark is told to undress and put on one of those hospital gowns with no back. The doctor leaves as Clark changes. Clark—alone—gets up on the table and starts jacking off his nice big dick. When the doctor arrives, he can’t take such teasing. He slaps Clark’s ass and sticks a thermometer up it. Later, Clark gets to take the doctor’s flesh thermometer both orally and anally. Clark is another great find. Jack is skinny with a big prick and looks good here. In “Squirt” which I saw a couple of weeks ago he had a face that looked as though it needed ironing.

It’s scene three that makes the film. The performers Michael Brandon and Scott Mann are both seasoned pros. The subtitle for the scene is “The Minister”. Can you imagine Michael Brandon as a minister? If you don’t know Michael he has a Dick of Death. He and Chad Hunt have the cocks by which all others are measured. Scott is a well-built blond. When punishment time comes, a naked Scott walks down a hall holding a candle as an acolyte. We next find him in a room with many candles. His spread-eagled arms are tied with rope. Michael enters clad in clerical vestments. He parts the garment to show that awesome cock sticking out straight before him. Scott is hard also. They swat their cocks together as though sword fighting. They suck. Michael is very energetic in his fellatio. This big-dicked performer is an accomplished cocksucker. Scott does his best with Michael’s Priapic monument. Scott gets fucked. But again it’s much too briefly.

Now I know—as I said at the beginning—that the reason for this film was to be a spanking film. Nevertheless when so much time is devoted to slapping ass and so little time to sucking cock and fucking ass, it’s like being invited to a banquet where we fill up on corn chips and guacamole, get half a cup of soup, and only a tiny bite of steak.