Dana DeArmond Does the Internet Review

Dana Dearmond Does the Internet

"I guess I'm satisfied."

Expectations

Dana Dearmond is my favorite porn unicorn, so I'm looking forward to watching a whole movie about her.

Summary

There are a lot of good things to say about this movie. Dana is beautiful, and some of the other performers, especially Princess Donna turn in solid scenes. Still I watch porn to whack off, and while the movie kept me hard, I was never close to cumming.

If you are a fan of Vivid Alt, you may want to check this out. But if you like Dana's hardcore work, especially her anal scenes, then you will enjoy some of her other movies more. (Her scene in Big Wet Asses 10 is incredible!)

I hope that someone else (Evil Angel?) will make a hardcore film focused entirely on Dana, so that the rest of us can enjoy a great whack-off while watching Dana for two hours.

The Cast

The Sex!!!

Dana and Icarus Corpse

Cunnilingus, fingering (8 fingers), BJ, titfuck, 69, footplay, cum on feet. Dana does a great job on the blowjob; it's nasty with lots of spit, some deepthroating, and at times, she takes Icarus's balls into her mouth while she is sucking his cock. Still, this is far from the best scene of Dana's career.

Dana (fully clothed, on the phone), some guy.

Phone sex, masturbation, cum on floor. This barely qualifies as a sex scene, as Dana doesn't do anything remotely sexual. She is talking on the phone with some guy who is jerking off while asking her stupid questions. He eventually cums and then hangs up. The "phone sex" involves no real dirty talk, and the point of the scene is to show how weird it is for Dana to deal with the perverts she encounters on her job.

Reagan Maddux and Julius Ceazher.

BJ, titfuck, cum on tits. Reagan has small tits (for a porn star), so this scene was badly miscast. I really don't know what they were thinking.

Dana, Reagan Maddux and Julius Ceazher.

Double-BJ, fingering, doggie, side-saddle, missionary (including while the girls are 69ing), CG, cum on ass. The doggie begins 28 minutes into the movie, and this is the first time we see actual fucking. Dana is much hotter than Reagan in this scene, and Reagan often looks bored. At one point, Reagan is filling 3/4 of the screen while she is getting fucked, but your eyes are glued on Dana, who is sitting on the side fingering herself. Still, Reagan has a pretty pink pussy that looks nice engulfing a hard black dick. The cum shot is lame. There is a sudden cut, and we see both girls on their knees with their asses facing the camera. The guy walks on-screen and jerks off on their asses.

Dana, Lorelei Lee, and Daniel.

Handjob, BJ, cowgirl, 69, anal (fingering toys, doggie, standing doggie), oral cum shot, cum swapping (Dana swallows). This is the first time I have seen Lorelei, and though she is not a porn star of Dana's caliber, she has nice tits, and full pussy lips that look like butterfly wings. For most of the scene, Dana is working on her laptop, while Lorelei and Daniel fuck. I would have liked to see more from Dana. Still, Lorelei turns in a good performance, and takes Daniel's pierced cock into her ass like it was a well-lubed pussy.

Dana and Daniel

Missionary, BJ, cunnilingus, doggie, RCG, cum on tits. The set up for this scene is that Dana is fucking a fan. She and Daniel seem to be having fun, and, although you never imagine she is actually fucking a fan, it is easy to imagine that she is playing fuck-a-fan with her boyfriend. The cum shot is excellent; Dana strokes Daniels hard cock while telling him, "I'm gonna make you cum all over me.... Yeah I'm nasty.... You gonna cum on me? I'm a dirty whore, give it to me.... Yeah cum all over me. Yessssss, that's exactly what I want," until he shoots a massive load all over her beautiful tits.

Dana and Princess Donna

Light domination, spanking, fingering (8 fingers), cunnilingus, footplay, titplay, anal fingering (four fingers), anal gaping, rimming, simulated doggie. Both girls have long brown hair, shaved twats, and nice curves topped off with sexy C-cups. Although Dana has a big full pussy that can easily take Donna's two hands, I never imagine that it can't also wrap tightly around a hard cock. I really enjoyed watching Princess Donna fuck her pussy with two hands, and then slip four fingers deep into Dana's butthole. I don't generally enjoy GG, but this scene was hot.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Summary