Cumstains Review

Reviewed by scipio.

Dir: It's a cumshot compilation, I don't think we need to credit a director, do we? An editor perhaps..

Extras:
Photo Gallery: A series of stills in stepper form, variously of the girls posing in cheesecake, mid-coitus or post-cumshot all over their faces. The pics are in a small centred window that takes up perhaps 1/4 of your TV screen's real estate. Kinda pointless to make them anything besides full-screen.
Rapid Cumshot Review: Like the name implies, it's a Machine-Gun Fellatio autofire fast-track to semen spitting. No warm-up, no build-up. No performer names or "this scene is from that movie". Just pop, pop, pop. Presumably, until you drop. Essentially, it's the entire title trimmed down to it's essence of flying sea men. Ahem.
Bonus Scene: Well, this disc boasts a "Bonus Scene Inside", though I'm damned if I can find it 'cos it's not on the menu. I've seen other reviews mention it - apparently it's Cassie Young & Mark Davis but there's simply no menu option for it..

As usual for my reviews of these cumshot compilations, I'm not going to bother trying to list, review and rate each scene individually. This one proudly boasts over 100 cum shots though there are no names of the performers, or even any pre-cumshot sex for the first 20 minutes. Each "chapter" lasts only about a minute or two. The formula is a mostly-different mostly-faceless guy's dick being sucked and jerked off by either the girl(s) or himself off for the final seconds, before depositing his seed on the face/breasts/mouth of the lucky lady or ladies in question. Most scenes feature one faceless ejaculating penis, some feature two or even more.

The first 22mins worth of scenes all feature two girls sucking one guy with mostly double facials and sloppy cum kisses. Cum Swapping with subsequent swallowing of couse makes an abundant appearance. Followed by a 1-on-1 ATM buttfucking facial as we segue into standard "last seconds of fucking and then pop in her face" territory. 1-on-1s, 2-on-2s, oral, anal, vaginal, ATMs, teabagging, DPs, gapes, you get the idea.

As usual with these massive cumshot comp discs, the girls' looks range widely between absolutely gorgeous to damned cute to bowling-show ugly. YMMV as to who fits in which category of course, and this variety of performer quality is to be expected when they're selling us 100+ cum shots. The girls span pretty much all ethnicities, as you could expect with this many finales.

Unfortunately, there are NO credits in the movie, so I have no idea which faces belong to the recipients of most of the cumshots. This is especially annoying in those few cases where the girl is an absolute beauty and you'd love to find out who she is so you can hunt down more of her work. This happened, well, too often, and beyond that there were of course a number of other girls who I might not track down but certainly wouldn't complain about seeing again. Those "WOW, who is SHE?" moments couldn't be more annoying in this kind of uncredited appearance, especially when you see the same girl for the second or third time..

The only performer credited is Olivia Del Rio, who is the covergirl. Others I recognised were:

Monica Sweetheart with Lea De Mae
Angel Long and Ashley Long
Ana Nova (with some chick)
Katja Kassin with Mason Stone
Lucy Lee (asian) (with some chick)
Olivia O'Lovely (with some chick)
Jessica Darlin
Alicia Rhodes
Ana Nova (again)
Katsumi (with 2 guys)
Monica Sweetheart (with 2 guys)
Melanie Jagger (with some chick)
Sophie Evans (with 3 guys)
Gia Paloma (with 3 guys)
Gague (with 3 guys)
Olivia Del Rio (with 3 guys)
Mason Stone
Friday
Olivia O'Lovely with Ana Nova
Arianna Jollee
Bella with Victoria (covergirls to Double Decker Sandwich #1)

There were of course quite a few other semi-familiar faces who I could not put names to, but frankly I'm shocked at just how many of these girls I've never seen before. If you attempt to watch this disc in one sitting, you will eventually become bored as the damn thing goes on forever, but then these discs aren't designed to be watched in one sitting.

Technically, since this disc comes from Zero Tolerance overall it's pretty good or better. Of course, since this is ZT, Mark Davis is the cock in at least 325% of the scenes shown. Doesn't bother me, but I know it does for some. Not crediting at least the female performer and the title the facial was lifted from seems like a silly business decision, as it's the kind of thing that allows the consumer to chase down a full title to see that scene in full. Since it's the kind of thing that can only help Zero Tolerance sell more DVDs and they haven't done it, I can only assume it's because of simple laziness and honestly, does themselves as well as the consumer a disservice. I hope they fix this for subsequent editions of this series.

Overall, I was a bit disappointed in this title. Perhaps it's because this was from ZT's early days, but I found the proportion of disposable RLD/PXP-type average-looking nobodies to red-hotties was disappointingly under par. Not to say that there weren't a bunch of really hot girls in this, because there were. There just weren't enough of them. At least half of ZT's no-name disposable chicks looked like they came from the local college campus rather then the local trailer park, though. I've also never seen so many tongue studs in the space of two hours!

Verdict: OK but not great, though the sheer amount of content helped considerably.

7/10