Cumming of Jizzus, The Review

Distributor: Cinema Sewer Edition Details: Standard DVD Movie Specs: Genres: All Sex, Vignette Run Time: 59 minutes Rated: XXX Release Year: 2010 Director: Chelsea Chainsaw Written by: Karina Sims (as Karina Jordi) Cast: Matt Daddy, Alyssa Reece (as Mandy More), Maya, Janessa Jordan, Alexandra Belle, Sheila Faye, The Dirty Swede, Sebastian Xzah, Chelsea Chainsaw, Robin Bougie Release Specs: Audio: English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo Subtitles: none Video: Full Frame, 1.33:1 Video Format: NTSC Format: DVD-R Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): 0 (All) Number of discs: 1

Over time, many magazines have tried to enter the film industry, in both the mainstream and the adult movie genres. The big question is whether the magazine can appeal to their reader going from the print format to the moving picture format. Some magazines, like National Lampoon did in the 1970s, made the successful transition from print to moving picture in the mainstream movie industry. Others, like MAD Magazine did in the 1980s, didn't make a successful transition managing to lose their readers when changing to moving pictures. The adult movie industry has also seen attempts, such as Screw magazine's 1975 S.O.S., which ended up being Screw magazine's only foray into the land of moving pictures.

Cinema Sewer, Robin Bougie's 21-year-old magazine on “history's sickest and sexiest movies” makes its moving picture debut with The Cumming of Jizzus — which like Screw's S.O.S. seems to be a one and done for Cinema Sewer. The Cumming of Jizzus is an all-sex vignette movie with all of the vignettes centering around Jizzus Crust (Matt Daddy) — the movie's stand-in for Jesus Christ — that was directed by Chelsea Chainsaw and written by Karina Sims using the pseudonym Karina Jordi.

The Cumming of Jizzus is composed of four religious-themed vignettes that use some lines directly out of the Bible for dialog; other dialog was clearly written for the movie and not pulled from the Bible and yet other dialog was improvised. Each vignette consists of a short set-up and then the sex scene. The first vignette features Jizzus offering a woman at a well (Alyssa Reece) his living water. In the next vignette, Jizzus punishes an adulteress (Maya). The third vignette has Jizzus healing two lepers (Janessa Jordan and Alexandra Belle). The final vignette has Jizzus raising the dead (Sheila Faye).

The Cumming of Jizzus is exactly as blasphemous, wrong, and offensive as the movie sounds like it would be — which is exactly as the movie should be coming from a magazine that covers “history's sickest and sexiest movies.” Had The Cumming of Jizzus not pushed so many boundaries, this reviewer would have been highly disappointed. The movie features some enjoyable albeit sick jokes along with some nicely shot and nicely performed sex scenes.

The sex scenes in The Cumming of Jizzus are excellent. The actresses in the movie literally seduce the camera as they are making love with Jizzus, with the exception of the scene with Janessa Jordan and Alexandra Belle. Jordan and Belle both seduce the camera as well, they just don't seduce Jizzus in their scene. The sex was wonderfully captured by Chelsea Chainsaw and Jelina.

The Cumming of Jizzus never takes itself too seriously and knows that it is treading through dangerous waters with what is being presented. Not only is it making fun of a religious icon but the movie also contains fisting and peeing — which is enough to get any overly religious fanatic into a rage. However, the movie's self-mocking nature is enough viewers who know what they are about to view shouldn't be upset by what they have witnessed come to the end.

The Cumming of Jizzus was made on an extremely low budget. The rudimentary set design and costumes are reminiscent of what one might expect to find in a Sunday school play. Chelsea Chainsaw and Robin Bougie almost manage to pull the set design and costuming off since it fits in with the feel of the movie. To truly make this effect work, this reviewer almost thinks that the sets should have been on a stage that resembled a church to pull off the set design properly which, sadly, probably would have put the movie horribly over budget.

There is some really nice and creative lighting used during the creation of the movie. Where The Cumming of Jizzus goes wrong were the really simplistic mistakes that were made during production. The camera manages to capture some lighting cords, the flash from photography can be seen, and at one point the smoke from someone smoking off camera drifts by the lens.

The Cumming of Jizzus is everything that you would expect from a movie with this title. If your priest catches you with a copy, you are going to be doing some penance. Honestly, if the title has gripped you, you should watch this movie as it delivers on the implied promise to the viewer of what is to come. Just remember, if you opt to watch a movie called The Cumming of Jizzus, you later can't complain about the content of a movie called The Cumming of Jizzus.

Cinema Sewer has done a nice job with their DVD release of The Cumming of Jizzus. The Cumming of Jizzus was shot digitally and is presented in the Academy aspect ratio of 1.33:1 in 480i. The only noticeable issue with the video is combing. Other than the combing, the image is beautiful with a nice looking picture and nice colors.

The Cumming of Jizzus is presented with an English Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo audio track. The audio track is nice with clear dialog and nice ambient sound. The only potential issue is that the music can be a little loud at times when compared to the dialog volume.

Cinema Sewer has included a few extras on the release. “Behind the Scenes in Nazareth” is a six minute behind the scenes featurette on the movie. There is also a production photo gallery included on the release.

The Cumming of Jizzus contains the expected amount of blasphemy and bad taste that a movie with this title should have. The Cumming of Jizzus was made on a shoestring budget, however, the movie never takes itself seriously and features some truly excellent sex scenes. Honestly, if the movie intrigues you, buy a copy an watch it because it is as twisted and wrong as whatever you are imagining. Cinema Sewer has done a nice job with their DVD release of The Cumming of Jizzus with good video and audio quality.

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