Coxxx & Cops Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  3/2/2003

There seem to be a whole series of these films being cranked out by Inferno and others which feature young twinks masquerading as cops banging other young twinks who are apparently guilty of something. (Maybe it’s of appearing in the films.) These films vary in quality, but none are very good. Some, like this one, are pretty bad.

We open with a duo we have seen before—a cute young slender brunet and a bleached blond with pierced nipples and a bit of baby fat. The blond is always the cop. He asks to see if there are drugs in the brunet’s backpack. Instead he finds gay porno films. The cop is on the kid before you can say the word Miranda. They fuck bareback (I believe they are lovers) but the effect of this is lost due to poor camerawork. Choppy editing and a bit of looping further mar the scene. It looks like it might get into something interesting when the young blond lubes the cutie’s ass and the nightstick, but we cut away before he inserts it and it’s "déjà vu all over again". Blondie cums and Cutie does not. Both wearing white socks also detracts from the scene which appears to have been directed by Ed Wood, photographed by Ray Charles, and edited by Jack the Ripper.

There is no set-up at all to scene two, but it is actually an improvement over the preceding. (What wouldn’t be?) This time a blond is the prisoner and a brunet is the cop. The blond is shoved onto the bed stripped (he has no pubic hair—and is losing that on his head) and sucked. The brunet has a nice spattering of chest hair. All of us had problems getting hard. (I never did.) I got so bored that I watched the scene at 4X. I slowed back down for the fucking—otherwise I would have missed it. It lasted all of 14 seconds! I went back and timed it—14 seconds! (And you thought rabbits were quick.) They end by jacking themselves off and do get points for cumming at the same time.

In the third scene a cop returns home after a hard day’s work and plops down on his sweetie who is stretched out on the sofa. This young cop has shaved his head to hide the fact that he is going prematurely bald. The coach potato is so-so cute. He does a good job of cock and ball sucking showing that he deserves to be in a better production than this. It goes on and on much too long though. Baldy doesn’t suck Couchie, but he does rim him (which Couchie likes) and fucks him (which Couchie does not like).

There are no extras. Not surprising as there was no substance. The director—if indeed there even was one—has wisely remained uncredited. Condoms were used in all but the first scene. I was really glad that there were only three scenes. This was another of those effortless pieces of crap that are cranked out only to make a quick buck. Save yours for something better.